The Hunker Games
Sorry, another depressing one to punish you with.11 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Witty wordplay. Mind your pees and queues earns your stars in itself. I hope everybody read your footnotes imploring them not to "correct" your misspellings. As you recently expressed--in crudely clever words--some birds fly above and beyond. Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
  |
Witty wordplay. Mind your pees and queues earns your stars in itself. I hope everybody read your footnotes imploring them not to "correct" your misspellings. As you recently expressed--in crudely clever words--some birds fly above and beyond. Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 14-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2020
-
I was rather proud of pees and queues myself.
Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is witty, clever, and very well thought out. I like the way you've taken the situation and superbly injected puns into it. Thanks for sharing this inspirational, engaging, and lightly humorous well written work. Well done!
|
This is witty, clever, and very well thought out. I like the way you've taken the situation and superbly injected puns into it. Thanks for sharing this inspirational, engaging, and lightly humorous well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 01-Apr-2020
Comment from RShipp
Enjoyed... and who really cares about spelling when telling a pun.
Your "Pun definitions" were helpful, but I got them anyway.
Best of luck with the Lightning and Pun-derstorm contest.
|
Enjoyed... and who really cares about spelling when telling a pun.
Your "Pun definitions" were helpful, but I got them anyway.
Best of luck with the Lightning and Pun-derstorm contest.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2020
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a very interesting poem in the way you wrote it with all the puns. I like the way you explained each phrase. That helped make the poem clear.
Good luck in the contest.
|
This is a very interesting poem in the way you wrote it with all the puns. I like the way you explained each phrase. That helped make the poem clear.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2020
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It is a trying time for us all and the elderly where already lonely and no they have been totally cut off from society and many of them will die from lack of contact with the outside world as they often can't use a computer and become out of touch with the world. A poignant write and I hope this scary time soon passes, love Dolly x
|
It is a trying time for us all and the elderly where already lonely and no they have been totally cut off from society and many of them will die from lack of contact with the outside world as they often can't use a computer and become out of touch with the world. A poignant write and I hope this scary time soon passes, love Dolly x
Comment Written 31-Mar-2020
Comment from Gypsymooncat
Oh this is really good! Love the clever play on words, especially your last three lines. Or should I say, how you tied everything together with those last three lines. Or rope. I truss that you will do well in the contest. If not, demand a recount lol! These hunker games are a very serious business indeed. One thing I did notice was "I'm coped up at home" - should be "cooped"? Anyhoo, good luck with your pomapunns; it's hilarious!
|
Oh this is really good! Love the clever play on words, especially your last three lines. Or should I say, how you tied everything together with those last three lines. Or rope. I truss that you will do well in the contest. If not, demand a recount lol! These hunker games are a very serious business indeed. One thing I did notice was "I'm coped up at home" - should be "cooped"? Anyhoo, good luck with your pomapunns; it's hilarious!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2020
Comment from Brenda Henderson
All I can say to quote the Reverend Jesse Jackson "Keep Hope Alive." Try to live and motivate yourself with and in love and not fear and try to stay safe. If there are close relatives or friends that you can shelter with that aren't sick get we with them as quickly as possible so as not to be alone if you are indeed fearful. Often there is at least a sense of safety numbers.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020
|
All I can say to quote the Reverend Jesse Jackson "Keep Hope Alive." Try to live and motivate yourself with and in love and not fear and try to stay safe. If there are close relatives or friends that you can shelter with that aren't sick get we with them as quickly as possible so as not to be alone if you are indeed fearful. Often there is at least a sense of safety numbers.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020
-
Thanks for your time spent reviewing my poem. I am not fearful for myself, and am actually very relieved that I live alone and am healthy. I am a family of one, with no relatives. Luckily my next door neighbours are good friends to me for the past 25 years. "Safety in numbers" is a fallacy as that is how the virus is spreading.
I trust in God, and have faith that a vaccine will be found and that humankind will establish a different way of living for the future.
Sending good wishes to you, stay safe, be well. xx
-
You're welcome!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Aw, there are puns all throughout this poem, but heavier toward the end. Favorite lines: Our world's been unravelled
by those who have travelled
When I complain, my mom says, "I wasn't grateful when I was able to do yardwork, but now I am."
On this line: I'm coped up at home
Do you mean I'm cooped up at home
Fun share, even when we all would rather be somewhere else, or at least once in a while.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020
|
Aw, there are puns all throughout this poem, but heavier toward the end. Favorite lines: Our world's been unravelled
by those who have travelled
When I complain, my mom says, "I wasn't grateful when I was able to do yardwork, but now I am."
On this line: I'm coped up at home
Do you mean I'm cooped up at home
Fun share, even when we all would rather be somewhere else, or at least once in a while.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020
-
Thanks for your review. Your mom's comment about yardwork is so true. I've used "coped up at home" on purpose, to indicate both words - cooped up, but also that I am coping with the situation.
Comment from Aaron Milavec
Pic works well with the theme of the poem.
The horsemen are on the go,
not stopping when we call: "Woe!" Did you mean, "Whoa!"
Here the four horses of the apacalypse (Rev 6:1-2). Whoa = used as a command to a horse to make it stop or slow down, or to urge a person to stop or wait:
You write:
they gave us the ships and flu
to give us the flight of our lives.
Alternate:
they gave us the ships and the flu
that gave us the fright of our lives.
You write:
We consumed and assumed.
Now, mask we all be doomed?
Alternate:
We consumed and assumed.
Now, masked, we are doomed?
Suggest removing last three lines.
Keep writing with joy,
Aaron
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020
 |
Pic works well with the theme of the poem.
The horsemen are on the go,
not stopping when we call: "Woe!" Did you mean, "Whoa!"
Here the four horses of the apacalypse (Rev 6:1-2). Whoa = used as a command to a horse to make it stop or slow down, or to urge a person to stop or wait:
You write:
they gave us the ships and flu
to give us the flight of our lives.
Alternate:
they gave us the ships and the flu
that gave us the fright of our lives.
You write:
We consumed and assumed.
Now, mask we all be doomed?
Alternate:
We consumed and assumed.
Now, masked, we are doomed?
Suggest removing last three lines.
Keep writing with joy,
Aaron
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020
-
Thanks for your time spent on reviewing my poem All your suggested corrections would be wonderfully accurate editing comments, usually, but the whole point of this poem is that it is an entry in a contest to use puns in the poem, so all the words and phrases I have used are on purpose to carry the double meaning of puns.
-
I'm laughing at myself here! I missed the whole word game entirely. ~Aaron
Comment from papa55mike
No moping allowed. What a wonderfully written poem. Please check this line: I'm coped (cooped) up at home.
Good luck with the contest!
Have a great day andf God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020
|
No moping allowed. What a wonderfully written poem. Please check this line: I'm coped (cooped) up at home.
Good luck with the contest!
Have a great day andf God bless.
mike
Comment Written 30-Mar-2020
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2020
-
Thanks for your review - I used "coped up at home" on purpose to get across the meaning of being cooped up at home but also that I am coping with the situation.
