The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "The Piper, part 33"Young Adult Fantasy
17 total reviews
Comment from juliaSjames
Here we see Piper back to his studies after a long hiatus. It seems he hasn't lost his sense of discipline which bodes well for the future.
I didn't catch any spag.
I like your pacing, Debi. The safety and serenity that you are building so that Piper can relax into his new life may soon be shattered by Burkehart's arrival.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Here we see Piper back to his studies after a long hiatus. It seems he hasn't lost his sense of discipline which bodes well for the future.
I didn't catch any spag.
I like your pacing, Debi. The safety and serenity that you are building so that Piper can relax into his new life may soon be shattered by Burkehart's arrival.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 29-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2020
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Hi Julia,
Thank you for mentioning the pacing. I worry about that sometimes. I appreciate your comments and insights. Thanks for dropping in to read this when it is no longer listed.
Debi
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You're welcome. A fine chapter.
Julia
Comment from estory
I'm walking in and out of this, so I think it's unfair to comment on the mechanics of your story. The dialogue seems lively enough, and we see these characters interacting through it, manipulating the boy, bending him towards using his music and then towards something else. They all seem to be hovering around him, and it's hard to say if they are working in concert; a couple of them seem to be hiding their own motives, and that keeps up the suspense and keeps us guessing. I would say maybe it could use a little more action, a sharpening of the intensity, but like I say, I haven't read all the chapters and it's hard for me to comment on that. estory
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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I'm walking in and out of this, so I think it's unfair to comment on the mechanics of your story. The dialogue seems lively enough, and we see these characters interacting through it, manipulating the boy, bending him towards using his music and then towards something else. They all seem to be hovering around him, and it's hard to say if they are working in concert; a couple of them seem to be hiding their own motives, and that keeps up the suspense and keeps us guessing. I would say maybe it could use a little more action, a sharpening of the intensity, but like I say, I haven't read all the chapters and it's hard for me to comment on that. estory
Comment Written 27-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2020
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Thank you for reading and review. I appreciate the five stars and your comments.
Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Well, you certainly give us a lot to think about,
and many new developments, too, Debi.
-Each chapter gets better and better,
and more mysterious, as well.
-You do have a way with names-
Cattail Spring, or is that Cat, for short?
-I like the opening scene with the experiment
with Piper's playing and the birds singing.
-It is nice to meet Lady Spring. She seems
very nice and down to earth, and you give us
the sense they have a very good relationship.
-Then, you give us the final surprise-Rupert.
-Are we to conclude that Rupert has been
visiting with M.C., and out of harm's way?
-It sounds like he had been involved with
a music group that Rupert has been involved with.
-I wonder what Piper's shrug means; I thought
he would be delighted to see Rupert, and he sounds
very matter of fact about meeting up with Piper.
-You do spin a great tale.
-One small thing: completed the tune^ he removed
[comma needed]
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
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-Well, you certainly give us a lot to think about,
and many new developments, too, Debi.
-Each chapter gets better and better,
and more mysterious, as well.
-You do have a way with names-
Cattail Spring, or is that Cat, for short?
-I like the opening scene with the experiment
with Piper's playing and the birds singing.
-It is nice to meet Lady Spring. She seems
very nice and down to earth, and you give us
the sense they have a very good relationship.
-Then, you give us the final surprise-Rupert.
-Are we to conclude that Rupert has been
visiting with M.C., and out of harm's way?
-It sounds like he had been involved with
a music group that Rupert has been involved with.
-I wonder what Piper's shrug means; I thought
he would be delighted to see Rupert, and he sounds
very matter of fact about meeting up with Piper.
-You do spin a great tale.
-One small thing: completed the tune^ he removed
[comma needed]
Comment Written 26-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
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Hi Pam,
I love that you share questions and insights that no one else does. Thank you for the punctuation correction as well.
In answer to your question about Rupert--A couple of chapters back it was mentioned that Redd-Leif had asked MC to watch after Rupert when Redd-Lief dropped him off and headed back for Piper. Rupert and Piper will catch-up later and fill in the details.
I based the reunion on the boys I know. They talked for weeks about seeing each other again, but as soon as there was food... they caught up right after. LOL. Maybe I should punch that up a bit for the story. Great insight and thanks for sharing.
The shrug will also be explained later.
Thank for all the great comments and the six stars. I appreciate it so much.
Debi
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and observations, Debi. It is a testament to your writing and storytelling. I get to use my imagination because you write with one. I can understand the bit with food:)
Comment from rwilliam
I really enjoyed this story. It is so fun for me to read because I just love fantasy!
The names are unique and believable. I could see the music lesson so well in miming. Wonderful job.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
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I really enjoyed this story. It is so fun for me to read because I just love fantasy!
The names are unique and believable. I could see the music lesson so well in miming. Wonderful job.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2020
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Thank you for dropping in on this chapter. I am so happy to hear you enjoyed it and the names of the characters and the music lesson.
Debi
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, Debi
What a wonderful new chapter. Your writing is just superb, my friend. And when this gets picked up by one of those big publishing houses, which I believe it will, I'll be able to say I knew you when.
I love music in its many forms, but I am not a musician. Still, I've felt palpable magic when listening to certain performers, YoYo Ma being one of them. Your chapter tells me much I did not know about how challenging it is to become a truly great musician. And it also lays out the joys of what making music can be for those with its many gifts. This was particularly evident in Piper's playing while the birds listened. Absolutely lyrical! Bravo!
Hugs, Bev
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Hi, Debi
What a wonderful new chapter. Your writing is just superb, my friend. And when this gets picked up by one of those big publishing houses, which I believe it will, I'll be able to say I knew you when.
I love music in its many forms, but I am not a musician. Still, I've felt palpable magic when listening to certain performers, YoYo Ma being one of them. Your chapter tells me much I did not know about how challenging it is to become a truly great musician. And it also lays out the joys of what making music can be for those with its many gifts. This was particularly evident in Piper's playing while the birds listened. Absolutely lyrical! Bravo!
Hugs, Bev
Comment Written 24-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Hi Bev,
It's always a pleasure to hear from you. Wow, what wonderful comments. If only... on the publishing. Maybe if I get lucky, but we can always remain friends.
I love YoYo Ma. He is one of my favorite musicians. I saw an interview with him once and he said he loves to perform, but he hates to practice. I was like, oh, that is so honest. I've never heard a professional musicians own up to that one before.
Thank you for the specific comments about the music and Piper's playing.
Are you still raising your sister's kids? Or have they all grown up now?
Thanks again for the great review and the six stars!
Debi
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You're most welcome, my lovely friend. Your writing is a true joy to read for me, and I think will be for others when they get their chance to read it. I'm in a writing group locally, and there are three young women (mid-20's) writing fantasy and I find their writing inspiring as I do yours. Have you read the fantasy series called the Kingkiller Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss? The two books I've read have a similar theme to yours. If you haven't read them, I think you would find them interesting. And thanks for asking about my nieces and nephew. I am still very involved in their lives, mostly because of phone technology, but I force them to talk with me live about every ten days or so LoL. They live about four hours away so I can't physically see them often, but we do remain close and they're doing well. The middle niece has been married almost two years now, and I think she made a good choice in her mate. I still miss my sister terribly, but having the kids in my life makes up for some of that.
Yup, friend forever sounds good to me, Debi. I've always enjoyed your energy which comes through in all your communications. :) Bev
Comment from dkblack
Another wonderful chapter. The names you give your characters are perfect and help to give an image of them as well! Piper has this great talent, but he is still a youngster that wants to do other things beside work on his talent!
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Another wonderful chapter. The names you give your characters are perfect and help to give an image of them as well! Piper has this great talent, but he is still a youngster that wants to do other things beside work on his talent!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Hi Dana,
I am so glad to hear you like the names. I get lucky. My characters seem to name themselves. Yes, Piper is just a kid and they do have to get into things. It is their nature.
Debi
Comment from rspoet
Hello debi,
Another wonderful and wonder-filled chapter in the story of Piper.
I love the blend of music and nature, a pastoral concerto or words.
Cattail Spring and Lady Willow Spring, what marvelous names,
and Lady Spring is like a breath of fresh air or fresh-baked bread.
At last, Rupert and Piper are together again!
Now, what kind of trouble can those two get into. :)
Well done.
Robert
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Hello debi,
Another wonderful and wonder-filled chapter in the story of Piper.
I love the blend of music and nature, a pastoral concerto or words.
Cattail Spring and Lady Willow Spring, what marvelous names,
and Lady Spring is like a breath of fresh air or fresh-baked bread.
At last, Rupert and Piper are together again!
Now, what kind of trouble can those two get into. :)
Well done.
Robert
Comment Written 24-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Hi Robert,
Thank you for the wonderful and clever comments. I am so glad you liked the names. My characters kind of name themselves so I get lucky that way. I loved the comment about Lady Spring.
Yes, who knows what Rupert and Piper will get into?
Thanks for your continued support and encouragement.
Debi
Comment from ciliverde
I love this story, I need to go back and read the earlier chapters that I missed. I was also interested in how you defined the different types of elementals. Reminds me of when I was a young teen, walking in the woods near our home in Montana, wishing SO hard that I would come across an elf, just the way you describe them!
Carol
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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I love this story, I need to go back and read the earlier chapters that I missed. I was also interested in how you defined the different types of elementals. Reminds me of when I was a young teen, walking in the woods near our home in Montana, wishing SO hard that I would come across an elf, just the way you describe them!
Carol
Comment Written 24-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Hi Carol,
Thank you so much for the six stars and for the wonderful comments about the writing. Maybe one of these days you can still meet an elf while you're out for a walk.
Again, thank you for going back and reading the previous chapters.
Debi
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi debi. A very well written chapter of your story. Are you a musician yourself? You know so much about it. The story flows well and you introduce dialogue throughout which is comfortable and realistic to your theme. Nicely done. Marilyn
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Hi debi. A very well written chapter of your story. Are you a musician yourself? You know so much about it. The story flows well and you introduce dialogue throughout which is comfortable and realistic to your theme. Nicely done. Marilyn
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Hi Marilyn,
Thank you for the generous six stars and the wonderful comments about the writing. It means a lot coming from you.
In answer to your question, I play the piano and organ for church, and dabble a bit with a cello and clarinet. The flute is on my bucket list.
Debi
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Hi debi. You ARE talented. We have a flute player in our choir and she does a wonderful job. We have piano, of course, and 2 guitar players. Occasionally we have a cello player. :)
Comment from lyenochka
I do like Master Crescendo teaching Piper how to pay attention and listen to how birds and bees react to his music. It does make me wonder if professional musicians have less hearing loss over their lifetime. (Of course, without childhood trauma like Beethoven's)
Typos: (You probably don't like this Italian word now.)
"Crescedo thought for a moment" (Crescendo)
"Crescedo turned to face his wife" (Crescendo)
"Crescenod turned to Piper. " (Crescendo)
"Cresendo added before taking his next bite, " (Crescendo)
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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I do like Master Crescendo teaching Piper how to pay attention and listen to how birds and bees react to his music. It does make me wonder if professional musicians have less hearing loss over their lifetime. (Of course, without childhood trauma like Beethoven's)
Typos: (You probably don't like this Italian word now.)
"Crescedo thought for a moment" (Crescendo)
"Crescedo turned to face his wife" (Crescendo)
"Crescenod turned to Piper. " (Crescendo)
"Cresendo added before taking his next bite, " (Crescendo)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
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Hi Helen,
I love your comment about professional musicians. You do make me wonder if anyone has done any studies. It would be interesting to see the results.
Your comments about not liking the word Crescendo any more made me chuckle. If I stopped liking words I misspelled I'd have a very limited vocabulary. Also, I lived in Italy for eighteen months and the only word (actually abbreviation) I no longer use in English is etc. In Italian it's ect. I get so confused between the two it takes me some time to figure out which one is correct. LOL
I appreciate you taking the time to catch the typos. I've been having trouble with spellcheck shutting down my screen when I try to use it so it was valuable information.
Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it.
Debi
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How wonderful to have experienced Italy by actually living there for 18 months! I have seen both etc and ect. I'll let you know if I hear anything about musicians and hearing. One thing I do know is that hearing is partially focus and those who have focused hearing all their lives probably won't lose that as readily as others.
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Thank you for the response. That is interesting about people with focused hearing. You're probably right about musicians.
