2020 Year of the Monarchs
A vision fantasy of the revenge of the Monarch Butterflies.9 total reviews
Comment from w.j.debi
This is an interesting take on what we are doing to our planet and who is going to eventually save us from ourselves. It just may be the insects that conquer at last. Their vision may be better than ours.
An excellent entry for the contest. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
This is an interesting take on what we are doing to our planet and who is going to eventually save us from ourselves. It just may be the insects that conquer at last. Their vision may be better than ours.
An excellent entry for the contest. Best of luck.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2020
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Thank you so much, w.i.debi for this review. It was just a fantasy, but who knows? Somehow we WILL be punished for our thoughtless and earth-threatening behavior.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the 20/20 Vision Story Contest.
This short story of the animal rebellion is well told.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
I think this is a good entry for the 20/20 Vision Story Contest.
This short story of the animal rebellion is well told.
Well done and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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Thanks again, Sharon. Appreciated!
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
You've penned a very interesting work here. We are destroying the habitat of insects an animals alike. It's good that the insects and animals haven't revolted like that. I know that man and his unquenchable greed will destroy whatever he wants to in the name of profit. I love how you've presented this and enjoyed reading this engaging and well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
You've penned a very interesting work here. We are destroying the habitat of insects an animals alike. It's good that the insects and animals haven't revolted like that. I know that man and his unquenchable greed will destroy whatever he wants to in the name of profit. I love how you've presented this and enjoyed reading this engaging and well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
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Thanks a lot, Jeffrey. A very kind review.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your story, I think you executed well within the rules of the contest. Good job and good luck in the contest. Have a great day!
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
Hello fellow writer. Thank you for sharing your story, I think you executed well within the rules of the contest. Good job and good luck in the contest. Have a great day!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Thanks for commenting my friend.
Comment from Gideon300
Well I hope Marius will give a few of us a pass.
It really is insane what is going on with big business and government. I do suspect they feel they will be just fine with underground bases and supplies and let the rest starve.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
Well I hope Marius will give a few of us a pass.
It really is insane what is going on with big business and government. I do suspect they feel they will be just fine with underground bases and supplies and let the rest starve.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
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Well, Marius seems to have said that he would save all those who seriously did their best to save our planet. So we might be on the right side. Lol. Thanks for commenting!
Comment from BethShelby
It is sad that human being think only of themselves and profits that are to be made and don't realize that they are destroying the world and it is only a matter of time until they too will suffer the consequences of their actions. You've created a fantasy in with it all come to a head in the year in which we are living. We may not have a lot more time that that but I've afraid the Monarchs will be gone before anything of any significance is done.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
It is sad that human being think only of themselves and profits that are to be made and don't realize that they are destroying the world and it is only a matter of time until they too will suffer the consequences of their actions. You've created a fantasy in with it all come to a head in the year in which we are living. We may not have a lot more time that that but I've afraid the Monarchs will be gone before anything of any significance is done.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Thanks, Beth. In a fantasy everything is possible. And I wanted this "vision" to be a serious warning.
Comment from BethShelby
It is sad that human being think only of themselves and profits that are to be made and don't realize that they are destroying the world and it is only a matter of time until they too will suffer the consequences of their actions. You've created a fantasy in with it all come to a head in the year in which we are living. We may not have a lot more time that that but I've afraid the Monarchs will be gone before anything of any significance is done.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
It is sad that human being think only of themselves and profits that are to be made and don't realize that they are destroying the world and it is only a matter of time until they too will suffer the consequences of their actions. You've created a fantasy in with it all come to a head in the year in which we are living. We may not have a lot more time that that but I've afraid the Monarchs will be gone before anything of any significance is done.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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same
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
Very interesting offering! I think it would definitely be something quite astounding if all the lower species were suddenly able to communicate and plot against mankind. Not saying that we don't deserve reproach, but to wipe out (almost) the whole human race? That is a little extreme, imo.
I noted you said in China they had been wearing masks for years when this happens, but that wouldn't really be correct, would it? If this all happens by year-end? (Perhaps an editing adjustment there.)
Other notes:
1.) But their (numbers) dwindled alarmingly.
--> 'amounts' is used when an object (often inantimate) cannot possibly be counted.
--> though it would be hard to come up with, those butterflies and flies and etc, DO have a total
2.) took place in the middle of the (Amazon?) forest in May 2020).
3.) "We claim the earth(,)" they cried,
--> the punctuation goes inside the parenthesis.
This was a brave entry for the contest. Without being rude, I have to say I don't think it win - but it is well-presented and makes very valid points. By entering it into the contest, you may end up with many more reviews and eyes on this piece - which I think (?) is your intention.
Sadly, here on FS, entertainment generally wins out over strong political messages -- but I'd love to see myself being proved wrong. *smile*
Good luck!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
Dear Mystery Writer,
Very interesting offering! I think it would definitely be something quite astounding if all the lower species were suddenly able to communicate and plot against mankind. Not saying that we don't deserve reproach, but to wipe out (almost) the whole human race? That is a little extreme, imo.
I noted you said in China they had been wearing masks for years when this happens, but that wouldn't really be correct, would it? If this all happens by year-end? (Perhaps an editing adjustment there.)
Other notes:
1.) But their (numbers) dwindled alarmingly.
--> 'amounts' is used when an object (often inantimate) cannot possibly be counted.
--> though it would be hard to come up with, those butterflies and flies and etc, DO have a total
2.) took place in the middle of the (Amazon?) forest in May 2020).
3.) "We claim the earth(,)" they cried,
--> the punctuation goes inside the parenthesis.
This was a brave entry for the contest. Without being rude, I have to say I don't think it win - but it is well-presented and makes very valid points. By entering it into the contest, you may end up with many more reviews and eyes on this piece - which I think (?) is your intention.
Sadly, here on FS, entertainment generally wins out over strong political messages -- but I'd love to see myself being proved wrong. *smile*
Good luck!
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Robyn, thanks! And your comment and suggestions are far more important to me than the " I Like" and "so beautiful" or "I loved that".
I will do the adjustments as you pointed out. I also wished I still had a nomination for the reviewer to give, but I am "full" for this month.
Please keep on reviewing my work in this constructing way!
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Well, I would... but you're invisible. hahaha You'll have to contact me after the voting and let me know how you did.
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Yes...and I am not allowed to reveal myself yet. I was thinking of the masked Chinese people; Anti-pollution masks I think I saw those for quite a while already. Especially in the big cities.
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no, no, no. Okay. I get it - I was not aware of an on-going issue with the masks.
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ok
Comment from Tami Urbanek
A great story on the dangers of continued spraying! All for the greed of large corporations who control the leaders of the countries. I like how you put the butterflies in control too.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
A great story on the dangers of continued spraying! All for the greed of large corporations who control the leaders of the countries. I like how you put the butterflies in control too.
Comment Written 20-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2020
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Thank you, Tami!