The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 115 "The Promise of the Milkhon"A Novel
24 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is an excellent chapter, Tony, with vivid description,
that becomes a little teary at the end.
-You describe the scene at the cemetery
and at Auntie Mozama's very well.
-I think it is a good thing that the horrors Helen must
have gone through are not elaborated on, but rather
show her fragile nature, and as Kayla says,
being more afraid of herself than anything else.
-She has so much healing to do, but it is sad for Charles.
-I think Bisto is still enamored with Kayla
and manages to liven up the scene ever
since he has been on this adventure with Charles.
-I really like the ending section as Charles goes outside,
and listens to the song of the myna bird;
his words and actions are very touching,
as well as Kayla's description of the folk song.
-The few words that Charles speaks
show the deep love he has for his Helen;
I think having to leave her is breaking his heart.
-You couldn't have written it more beautifully,
and if I keep writing, I will be in tears, too.
-One of your best, my friend.
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
  |
-This is an excellent chapter, Tony, with vivid description,
that becomes a little teary at the end.
-You describe the scene at the cemetery
and at Auntie Mozama's very well.
-I think it is a good thing that the horrors Helen must
have gone through are not elaborated on, but rather
show her fragile nature, and as Kayla says,
being more afraid of herself than anything else.
-She has so much healing to do, but it is sad for Charles.
-I think Bisto is still enamored with Kayla
and manages to liven up the scene ever
since he has been on this adventure with Charles.
-I really like the ending section as Charles goes outside,
and listens to the song of the myna bird;
his words and actions are very touching,
as well as Kayla's description of the folk song.
-The few words that Charles speaks
show the deep love he has for his Helen;
I think having to leave her is breaking his heart.
-You couldn't have written it more beautifully,
and if I keep writing, I will be in tears, too.
-One of your best, my friend.
[Glitterfy.com - *Glitter Photos*]
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much for this lovely review, Pam. It really makes me feel that I have managed a raw emotional appeal. I appreciate the affirmation of the sixth star and, of course, all your help.
I have now completed the first draft and put the remainder of the story up as a single post. Twice as long as previous posts, so I probably won't get many people reading it! LOL
-
You are very welcome and deserving of all of the stars and the feedback, and support, Tony. I think people will be reading; we want to know the ending! Good luck with the whole project. Now all you have to do is get a title, cover, and publish:)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Mr TFawcus,
The Promise of the Milkhon is very well written. I felt like I was a fly on the wall watching as the story developed and you got me from beginning to end. Good job, my friend.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
 |
Hello, Mr TFawcus,
The Promise of the Milkhon is very well written. I felt like I was a fly on the wall watching as the story developed and you got me from beginning to end. Good job, my friend.
Gypsy
Comment Written 19-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much for dropping by to review this chapter, Gypsy. I appreciate your interest and your kind words. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Cindy Warren
I felt sorry for Charles, but I can only imagine what the Lion did to Helen. She wouldn't have been able to run into Charles' arms. This is more believable, but sad. Hopefully in the spring...
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
|
I felt sorry for Charles, but I can only imagine what the Lion did to Helen. She wouldn't have been able to run into Charles' arms. This is more believable, but sad. Hopefully in the spring...
Comment Written 18-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2020
-
Thanks, Cindy. Who knows what the spring might bring?
I've just posted the final chapter. Much longer than usual, but I wanted to get it off my chest so that I can get on with the next stage in the process. At least it's all down on paper now!
Thank you so much for your help and support over the last few months. It's been quite a journey.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
You're back on track in this chapter with excellent dialogue
and interaction between the characters.
The children provide just the right touch of lightness.
The emotion is well done and the milkhon is a wonderful reference
for the situation and the need for time.
The Markhor Lodge could provide an interesting ending.
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
|
Hello Tony,
You're back on track in this chapter with excellent dialogue
and interaction between the characters.
The children provide just the right touch of lightness.
The emotion is well done and the milkhon is a wonderful reference
for the situation and the need for time.
The Markhor Lodge could provide an interesting ending.
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 18-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
-
A bit late in responding to this one, I'm afraid. Nonetheless, I very much appreciated the star-spangled comments.
I always look forward to reading your reviews and the thoughtful remarks about each chapter, spiced with a bit of humour.
Comment from w.j.debi
Poor Charles. He went through so much to save Helen. Perhaps, a bit a space will help them both heal and come together stronger later.
Excellent imagery with the smile and the missing tooth. It gives that incomplete feeling between Charles and Helen.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
|
Poor Charles. He went through so much to save Helen. Perhaps, a bit a space will help them both heal and come together stronger later.
Excellent imagery with the smile and the missing tooth. It gives that incomplete feeling between Charles and Helen.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2020
-
Thanks for this review, Debi, and for the generous award of a sixth star. Appreciated, as always. Tony
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Fresh imagery--empty chair being like smiling mouth with a tooth missing. Wry humor re balls-cutting in general and at lunch with the ladies in particular! As, always, you put my belly to growling--I am partial to Indian food (though I don't know about goat trotters!) Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
|
Fresh imagery--empty chair being like smiling mouth with a tooth missing. Wry humor re balls-cutting in general and at lunch with the ladies in particular! As, always, you put my belly to growling--I am partial to Indian food (though I don't know about goat trotters!) Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 17-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
-
Thanks, Liz, for this entertaining review! All good wishes, Tony
Comment from estory
I think you have a nice chapter of Kayla and Helen mourning their parents and getting some closure after their long chase of the lion. There's some good moments around the table and we see Charles enjoying his travel writer instincts sampling and commenting on the food. Which brings us full circle, in a way. Helen and Kayla seem to be settling down, buying that lodge. But there's still a couple of loose ends here. What about the French madame? And the guy with the painting? estory
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
|
I think you have a nice chapter of Kayla and Helen mourning their parents and getting some closure after their long chase of the lion. There's some good moments around the table and we see Charles enjoying his travel writer instincts sampling and commenting on the food. Which brings us full circle, in a way. Helen and Kayla seem to be settling down, buying that lodge. But there's still a couple of loose ends here. What about the French madame? And the guy with the painting? estory
Comment Written 17-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
-
Thanks, estory. There?s still a little more to come. One or possibly two more posts.
Comment from JudyE
I guess it's to be expected that Helen will need time to recover from her experiences. I didn't pick up anything and don't even have any suggestions.
However, the middle of the following is in a different background colour:
Helen glanced up but as soon as I engaged in eye contact, she looked away.
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
|
I guess it's to be expected that Helen will need time to recover from her experiences. I didn't pick up anything and don't even have any suggestions.
However, the middle of the following is in a different background colour:
Helen glanced up but as soon as I engaged in eye contact, she looked away.
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
-
I?m not sure why that happens. I?ve just highlighted all the text and applied a white background again. That usually fixes it. Thanks for letting me know.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. After all the excitement the mission us accomplished and everything seems to be turning to normality again and some healing period will be necessary too.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
|
A very well-written chapter. After all the excitement the mission us accomplished and everything seems to be turning to normality again and some healing period will be necessary too.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2020
-
Thanks for your comments, Sandra. Always appreciated. Tony
Comment from juliaSjames
I enjoyed this chapter. You engage the reader's emotions by showing the romance between Charles and Helen unraveling, at least for now. This is sad. But on the other hand, the mission has been a success so the lunchtime celebration is a high point.
I suggest you have a look at Minaxi's way of talking. To me it uses idiomatic British expressions that are hardly typical of her background.
Looking forward to the remaining chapters.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
|
I enjoyed this chapter. You engage the reader's emotions by showing the romance between Charles and Helen unraveling, at least for now. This is sad. But on the other hand, the mission has been a success so the lunchtime celebration is a high point.
I suggest you have a look at Minaxi's way of talking. To me it uses idiomatic British expressions that are hardly typical of her background.
Looking forward to the remaining chapters.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 16-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
-
Thanks, Julia. Someone else pointed that out, too. I'm in the process of editing it, simplifying the vocabulary and removing the idioms. It's a valid point that I hadn't paid enough attention to.
-
I've now main substantial changes to Minaxi's speech patterns, simplifying the vocabulary, sticking to the present tense, and removing idioms. If you have time to glance over it again, I'd appreciate any further feedback. All the best, Tony
-
I re read, Tony. Much better.
Julia
-
Many thanks!
