Reviews from

Blended Reality

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Branching Points"
A collection of stories: Some True, some not

34 total reviews 
Comment from Sylvia Page
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Congratulations JLR, this is an exceptional story of your growing up. I am sorry about what you had to endure and the deep secret you had to keep within you. I am sure you would have wanted to have parents that you could have been proud of. It takes a lot of courage to face all that and finally write about it.
I wish you well and hope that your life turned out well and was rewarded.
Best wishes
Sylvia

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    Sylvia, sometimes the stork just gets the deliveries wrong! But we survive and even thrive once we know we can declare the harsh truths and move on.
Comment from Tami Urbanek
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I really like how you separated the ages. You offered some great visuals-especially in the being thrown in the water incident. I'm only confused about one thing. Your mother came in to use the toilet while you were in the tub at 16. You said she leaves, you think. After the ending, at the bottom you write incest-implying that was the secret your therapist said to release. Did your mother touch you?

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    Regrettably, she did! She was drunk, I was caught in an uncompromising place and froze. As a result of your question I made an additional edit to the line lacking clarity.
Comment from Sanku
Excellent
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We usually carry glorified images of mothers and this is a verry sorry and nasty incident that put a monkey on her son's back.Incest is an ugly word even now.and children should not be allowed to carry that guilt or shame .Your therapist has given a good advice and youare brave enough to shake off the monkey All the best.for the contest.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    Sanku thank you for toughing through this writing. I know that he combination of alcohol and broken moral compass brought about this incident. With a great deal of work with an awesome therapist who peeled away the layers I had built up to finally after so many years tell someone what happened was what took the monkey off my back.
Comment from gingermo
Excellent
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Incest is certainly a deep secret. You usually hear of it between father and daughter not so often between mother and son. Sexual abuse is spoken of more openly today and perhaps that lessens the shame and humiliation of the victims. I can only imagine how heavy that monkey was on your back. Because of the personification or myth of the all loving, all caring mother it still comes as a shock when they turn out to be damaged human beings, capable of harming their children.
I liked the way you divided the story into years. Could you make 'I am a child of eight' stand out like the others. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    GingerMo, I appreciate the suggestion of calling out the I am a child of eight. that ,of course, was my intention and I missed that. Any abuse and certainly incest is still a bid problem and some cultures it is more prevalent than others. The purpose of writing this openly is for those who yet have found their voice and still carry the burden, the shame and the oozing wound of the event(s). I know that alcoholic people has blackouts and in those blackouts they can do terrible things that they, when sober, never even realize they did. I hope if just one person reads this and knows then they walk not alone and they can find a voice to begin the process of healing, then my writing has purpose.
Comment from Dancemom
Excellent
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This is a well-written story about a deep secret. I am sorry for the trauma that you experienced. I was a little confused towards the end, but I feel something else happened in the next to last paragraph that is hard to share.

Great job on your story. Congratulations on your first place win. Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    Dancemon, I did not get specific and graphic because of the broad audience, I did not want to offend anyone. Any abuse and certainly incest is still a bid problem and some cultures it is more prevalent than others. The purpose of writing this openly is for those who yet have found their voice and still carry the burden, the shame and the oozing wound of the incest event(s). I know that alcoholic people have blackouts and in those blackouts they can do terrible things that they, when sober, never even realize they did, I believe that was the case with my mother. I hope if just one person reads this and knows then they walk not alone and they can find a voice to begin the process of healing, then my writing has purpose.
reply by Dancemom on 11-Feb-2020
    Thank you for sharing your story. I haven?t specifically encountered incest, but there are many stories of childhood abuse that I have never shared with anyone. You have great courage in sharing your story.
Comment from estory
Excellent
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It's a pretty emotional piece, told in these fragmented segments like flashes of memories over the years of childhood. And it paints a picture of a dysfunctional family; the fighting mother and father, the father torturing his kids, throwing you into the water, breaking your trust of him; the drunken mother invading your privacy. It ends with this moving portrait of you at your mother's grave, pouring out your anger and letting it go, forgiving her. I like the structure, I like the lay out, I like the emotion in the voice, the sharp descriptions of the scenes and the dark portraits of the parents. It's very moody. estory

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    Estory, thank you for validation the format.
Comment from papa55mike
Excellent
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Congrats on the win, it's well deserved. What a wonderfully written story and the picture is haunting! Best of luck with your writing!

Have a great day and God bless.
mike

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Mike, I was shocked and honored by this first-place recognition. I wrote of this reality hoping that someone who may be or has been in throws of family abuse - reads this and realizes that they walk, not alone, and are not a freak of nature and they will survive!
Comment from susand3022
Excellent
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Hi JLR, It must have been very hard for you to share a story like this. I have to give you props, I don't know if I would have been able to do it if it were me. Thank you for sharing your experience.

I noticed a couple of little spags... I expect it was fast typing...
And then (I), in a flash, I feel myself... loose the first "I"
...Try (to) live every day in a place of...

Good luck with the contest :)

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Susan thank you! Good edits, I appreciate the extra set of eyes. My hope in writing with this honesty is perhaps someone who maybe in the rows of an abusive family setting might read this and know they walk not alone and they need to ask for intervention.
Comment from MissMerri
Excellent
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A sad, but well-told story of a strange and unhappy mother who must have forgotten the rule both mothers and fathers should bear in mind always... We are making memories today that last for a lifetime. Let them be beautiful. I am sorry for your pain. I hope the sharing helps you and others too. Congratulations on winning first place with this story.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    MissMeri, I was shocked to read your comment and learn I won first place. I am profoundly aware that God and great mentors have been alongside me on this life journey. I hope that, if only one person, is is the throws or has had abusive experience, that my words will give them a glimmer of hope that they walk not alone.
reply by MissMerri on 10-Feb-2020
    I was so blessed when it comes to having amazing, God-serving parents. My heart breaks when I read of abused children. It should never happen! God bless you and make you a blessing to others. You are very brave.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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Congratulations on your win with this personal story that you told well. Readers can feel your dilemma along the way by your use of well-chosen words. The resolution was told well, too. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Jan, I was shocked to read your comment and learn I won first place. I am profoundly aware that God and great mentors have been alongside me on this life journey. I hope that, if only one person, is is the throws or has had an abusive experience, that my words will give them a glimmer of hope that they walk not alone.