Reviews from

The French Letter

Viewing comments for Chapter 111 "The Hidden Path"
A Novel

29 total reviews 
Comment from ciliverde
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ah, I thought I might have a six left for you. This story has come a long way since I last read a chapter - from the countryside to Pakistan. And where is Helen (a Kalasha woman, which sounds like a local in the Pakistan mountains). You write well and it is obviously a great story, I'm sorry I've missed so much of it being away from FS,
Carol

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
    Good to hear from you again, Carol. I?ll look forward to reading your poems again.
    Thanks very much for the review and your encouragement.
    All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-This is a well written chapter, Tony,
that shows Charles on his way
to try and save Kayla and Helen.
-He has much needed help from
Minaxi, who is very perceptive
and skilled in using what she
has to make situations easier.
-Charles is then on his own,
with thoughts of Kayla, and
where she is, and feeling alone.
-It will not be anything easy to
face, and the ending is a symbol
of the fate that might await any one of them.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
    Very many thanks for your review, Pam, and for the six stars. Definitely in the final chapters now. Two more to go, I think. At most, three! LOL
reply by Pam (respa) on 07-Feb-2020
    You are very welcome and deserving, Tony. Sounds like a good plan to me!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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Great chapter Tony with Charles scrambling around the hills like a hill bandit and wondering how it all going to end. Good ending leading into the next chapter.
With only the low moan of wind in the trees for company, I suddenly felt very much alone. - that's a great line, really sets the mood.
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
    Very many thanks for your review, Valda. Much appreciated, as always. Tony.
Comment from Mastery
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Tony. Good to be back reading your writing, my friend. It does not seem too difficult to catch on to the action actually.
As usual, I love your use of concrete imagery, like here for instance:

" Flipping the case over, she plunged the knife into the good side twice, making holes about eighteen inches apart, and she threaded the twine through to form a makeshift belt."

And here: "There was the sharp crack of a rifle, and the one closest to me crumpled to its knees and came crashing down. It landed less than thirty yards from my hiding place."

Further suggestion: I think there are a few places you could bust that recap paragraph up into more than one, like here for instance:

"My red face and muttered apology seemed only to make things worse. There was an awkward silence before Minaxi said, "We should leave." (I realize it may not be that important, but keep in mind anything you can do go make your page more "reader-friendly" is advisable. :)

Good job overall Tony. Bob

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 07-Feb-2020
    Very many thanks for your review and suggestion. Much appreciated, as always. Best wishes, Tony.
reply by Mastery on 07-Feb-2020
    :) Bob
reply by Mastery on 07-Feb-2020
    : ) Bob
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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Minaxi took care of my first question right off. Why hadn't Charles found a way to strap the briefcase to his back? During a climb you need both hands. Smart girl to solve that issue.
I was glad that Charles didn't kill the poor man who happened upon them while he was hunting.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
    Thanks very much for your review, Debi. This business of having both hands free also applies to waving a gun around while he still has a knife in one hand. I've rewritten that part so that he puts it away first! LOL
reply by w.j.debi on 05-Feb-2020
    Ah, good catch.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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This is an interesting chapter, Tony, detailing the hidden path. Your words are descriptive and there is much action to keep readers engaged. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Jan. I appreciate your review. All the best, Tony
Comment from sandramitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm so sorry I don't have a six left, Tony, this is a ten star write if not more. The description of them climbing was excellent. I was panting alongside Charles, lol. I'm hoping he soon finds Helen, and hope Kayla is going to be there to help. Now he is on his own, (that would scare me, too) he has a lot of time to think, but the movement from above makes him hide. He has come a long way from being a travel writer when he is now easily contemplating slitting the man's throat! Lucky for him, his eyes opened. I hope he's not the enemy, but someone who can help Charles. Excellent chapter, my friend. I'll make sure you get a six next time! :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Sandra. As always, I appreciate your review and supportive comments. All the best, Tony
Comment from Pam Norris
Excellent
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Once again you have left us with Charles in a quandary. Somehow I didn't think he would kill an innocent man. I look forward to reading what happens next.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
    Thanks, Pam. I appreciate your review. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Well done, Tony. (What else is new!) Amusing bit with the jerry-built belted briefcase. I cringed at the image of knife slashing fine leather--its good side, no less. To top it off, belt won't span gut! Cheers. LIZ

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thanks very much for your review and kind words, Liz. I guess when the homing device is activated, it will be the end of the briefcase anyway!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well-written chapter and much action from beginning to end. Nearly half way to the destination he gained a rifle, a dead goat, and a prisoner. The question is what to do with it all.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2020


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2020
    Thanks very much for your review, Sandra. Appreciated, as always. Tony.