Reviews from

I, Don Pattern

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Signed, sealed,and delivered"
Fictional Autobiography

12 total reviews 
Comment from dkblack
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

For some reason, I am curious to know your Dad's Mom's name, and the name of the big silver-tongued devil that she really wanted! Also, it was nice of you to change the names, of the few names given, to protect the innocent. But maybe it was Karma working through you? I found this very humorous! Well done!

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    Good point--OK--I did not put that in but I'll tell you: It's Olive and Edwin. I may change their names later to protect their fictional innocence. Thanks for the appreciation of humor. I'm always looking for the opportunity. Thanks so much for your review.
Comment from Badger_29
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I find this style of writing to be completely new and intriguing to me as you are covered a lot of Round And yet come back into the present as a fetus talking about many different stages of being. I like how you describe a lot of the other spiritual teachings here, opening the reader's mind to be more open-minded spiritually and to accept others thoughts and points of view as valid even though not being their own. I gave the $6 because of the creativity on it and this leads me to be very interested in reading some of your other writing.

Blessings,

Brother Badger

Darren

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    So great to hear from someone who has me down so well.
    Some of the others were amused but confused. The following Chapter 3 is now available on Fan Story as "On The Move Again" I've finished "I, Don Pattern" but am now re-writing as the result of some great feedback like yours from Fan Story. Thank You so much.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I find your journey very interesting and almost believable. Since I have carried five fetuses and delivered all five. One is aware of certain wives' tales; denoting the impact of the daily activities during pregnancy, that may supposedly be retained by the baby. Who knows? Yet the premise that the baby is thinking and planning is very novel. You have certainly aroused my curiosity. I look forward to more of the same, intelligent and descriptive writing in your next chapters.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2020
    Thank you so much for your review and insightful observations. The next and final chapter (3) for Fan Story is now available as "On The Move Again." Thank you also for your encouragement. I will do my best keeping your thoughts in mind.
reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 16-Jan-2020
    I meant to mention... third paragraph, third line (realm)
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Carl. I must admit that this put a smile on my face. It's not everyday that you read about an unborn baby's view on life in the womb and the outside world. Once the baby is born that world becomes even more interesting with all its intrigues. Yeah, the intricacies of names can be compelling. All best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
    I can't pass on using comedy to make my point. It's more memorable that way. The "Divine Comedy" is a long Italian narrative poem by Dante Alighieri, who is a literary hero. I've taken Dante Courier as my pen name for my published book. Alighieri was a keen observer of the human condition. Ch 3 now available.
Comment from sandramitchell
Excellent
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Phew!! I think I sorted out your relations, by the end of it, I was nearly convinced you were your own grandfather! lol. I've had the same thing happen with a dress I bought, only to find my sister-in-laws sister copied me with the dress I bought for my brother's wedding. Soooo embarrassing. Well, you're still in nappies, and pooing yucky yellow stuff and so far you've had a far more exciting life than many 100-year-olds! Lol! Can't wait for you to reach a year old! Well done, this was a very funny, interesting part to your story. :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
    I love it when a reader finds a similar situation in their own lives--a pattern you might say. I think that we are all related and our perceived "difference" is really the source of our suffering. Ok that's pretty deep--that's why I use comedy. Chapter 3 is now available as"On The Move Again" Thank you for your review and feedback.
Comment from May 1
Excellent
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That sure was an interesting chapter to read. I really like the way you deal with some of the deeper topics and how the story is developing so far. All in all, I really enjoyed reading this chapter.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2020
    Thank you so much for your review and feedback. Sometimes I think that I'm being a little too deep. I don't want to lose my audience. That's why I like to use comedy. Ch 3 is now available as
    "On The Move Again." I think that will be all for Fan Story--the contest only calls for 4 chapters including the prologue.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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I think you've had a whirlwind of a life. Interesting to see what a person's life is like if they lived near the Mexican Border. Did they know about cesarean delivery in those days/or mid wives?

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 14-Jan-2020
    Probably not. They just went down to the local ice house and got some picks to drag me out by the cheekbones. Do you see the pattern about Mexico from my story about "Mexican Train Redemption?" Don't miss that one--it's a lulu. That story happened twenty years later. Thank you so much for your review and continued support.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
Excellent
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I think this is another good story/chapter.
It took a couple of readings in places to follow the events, but overall, well told.
I look forward to more of this.
Sharon

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Good point made Sharon. Sometimes I think I'm too complicated. But then I hear high praise from other reviewers for work that "works on so many different levels." But I don't want to lose readers with too much-unneeded details...so I watch that as carefully as possible. Thank you for your review and continued support.
Comment from beizanten
Excellent
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A very interesting choice of title you have me intrigued. A well written opening paragraph. Interesting plotline you have here. The emotion of the mc is shown well.

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    Thank you so much for your review and response. Glad to hear of your intrigue. It does not get better than that for me. Glad to hear of the plotline as well. I had already written much of this but started over mainly by editing and cutting down needless information. I hoped that the plot would emerge a little better. Great feedback.
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
Excellent
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Never thought I'd ever fond myself reading the thoughts of a baby still inside their mother. So that was different. Your work offered novelty and was well written. Cheers!

 Comment Written 13-Jan-2020


reply by the author on 13-Jan-2020
    You never know what might be in their fetal, zygote or even sperm awareness. It's all part of pondering the mystery of "Why?"--or simply the enjoyment of an imaginative story about not-usual things. Thank you for your review and comments. Much appreciated.