Celtic Roots
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "A summer lost"Autobiography of an oldest son lost in a family
16 total reviews
Comment from royowen
As someone who has never broken a bone in his body, it is good news to me that I never broke, I've had chipped bones on my fingers due to fast bowlers hitting my fingers in cricket practice, despite wearing padded batting gloves, (I played the best game in the world until I retired at 41) beautifully written my friend, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
As someone who has never broken a bone in his body, it is good news to me that I never broke, I've had chipped bones on my fingers due to fast bowlers hitting my fingers in cricket practice, despite wearing padded batting gloves, (I played the best game in the world until I retired at 41) beautifully written my friend, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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Roy, thank you, I wish I only experienced one set of broken bones in this earthly vessel, but alas, such was not the case.
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You sounded a little dare devilish, although I had some precarious hair raising climbing experiences,
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Yep, I spent to many middle years doing young man hobbies --the toll is being paid in these aged bones. Ugh!
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Heh heh
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is an interesting and well told story.
There's just one thing:
with lowing growing shrubbery - low growing shrubbery?
Well done and well told.
Sharon
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
I think this is an interesting and well told story.
There's just one thing:
with lowing growing shrubbery - low growing shrubbery?
Well done and well told.
Sharon
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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Sharon, good catch, thank for pointing this out!
Comment from Ricky1024
"A Summer Lost"
Is a chapter of your book entitled, "Celtic Roots"
...
This was Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues, as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for this and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
"A Summer Lost"
Is a chapter of your book entitled, "Celtic Roots"
...
This was Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues, as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks for this and have a Blessed day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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Doctor Ricky 1024, I value your comments, thank you.
Comment from Ulla
Hi there, this is a great story and it must have been the worst summer to look back on. I really enjoyed the read. A few things for your consideration:
The ground under the window was flush with lowing growing shrubbery = The ground under the window was flush with low growing shrubbery
My hands were very cast in such a manner that I could not even wriggle my fingers. =eliminate 'very'
The next thing I see is Millie, = here you change tense. It should be: The next thing I saw was MIllie.
All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
Hi there, this is a great story and it must have been the worst summer to look back on. I really enjoyed the read. A few things for your consideration:
The ground under the window was flush with lowing growing shrubbery = The ground under the window was flush with low growing shrubbery
My hands were very cast in such a manner that I could not even wriggle my fingers. =eliminate 'very'
The next thing I see is Millie, = here you change tense. It should be: The next thing I saw was MIllie.
All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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Ulla, wonderful and very well received advice , thank you!
Comment from robyn corum
JLR,
Oh, my. What a story. Well, a lesson, too, huh? Far too often, we DON'T get what we deserve. Or the punishment comes far too late to do any good. This is a good example of getting chastised exactly when you needed it. Sorry though!
Notes:
1.) What I had not point(ed)-out to her (she could hardly read any English) (was) that I had fudged on
2.) I (set)-up the ladder against the first set of windows
Thanks! I enjoyed!
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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
JLR,
Oh, my. What a story. Well, a lesson, too, huh? Far too often, we DON'T get what we deserve. Or the punishment comes far too late to do any good. This is a good example of getting chastised exactly when you needed it. Sorry though!
Notes:
1.) What I had not point(ed)-out to her (she could hardly read any English) (was) that I had fudged on
2.) I (set)-up the ladder against the first set of windows
Thanks! I enjoyed!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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Good catches, thank much Robyn!
Comment from Sugarray77
Good write. The story is good and the incident with the little sister sticking up for him added some zest the the recovery part. Good job with this part.
Melissa
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reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
Good write. The story is good and the incident with the little sister sticking up for him added some zest the the recovery part. Good job with this part.
Melissa
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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Melissa, thanks for the validation.