Still Life
A senryu entry11 total reviews
Comment from Minglement
Oh, the message in this poignant entry for the senryu contest resonates with me. As is the goal, you say so much so simply with so few words. No suggestions for improving this lovely work. Good luck.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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Oh, the message in this poignant entry for the senryu contest resonates with me. As is the goal, you say so much so simply with so few words. No suggestions for improving this lovely work. Good luck.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2020
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I?m glad this piece resonated with you. We should never feel limited by age. Thank you for sharing your insights.
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You are welcome. I'm sure our paths will cross again :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry has a strong message, Mystery Author. Good job with its style. Your syllable count is correct per line. But it is your message that I take away. Years of experience has taught one much and there is still much more to learn and teach. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2020
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Your contest entry has a strong message, Mystery Author. Good job with its style. Your syllable count is correct per line. But it is your message that I take away. Years of experience has taught one much and there is still much more to learn and teach. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 11-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2020
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So glad you got the gist of what I was thinking! Appreciate your feedback.
Comment from zanya
An interesting angle here on the idea of ageing,perhaps quietly reminding the reader that as Time marches on & catches up with us we are still whole , so to speak- nicely illustrated
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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An interesting angle here on the idea of ageing,perhaps quietly reminding the reader that as Time marches on & catches up with us we are still whole , so to speak- nicely illustrated
Comment Written 10-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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Yes, age does not limit what we still can contribute. Thank you for dropping by to read and review.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made excellent use of all of your syllables in this senryu. It conveys a strong message to those who tend to observe others and conclude that they are DONE. :-)
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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You have made excellent use of all of your syllables in this senryu. It conveys a strong message to those who tend to observe others and conclude that they are DONE. :-)
Comment Written 10-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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Maybe a little gimpy with arthritic hips, but I am far from done. Lol. Thank you for reading and sharing your insights!
Comment from persevere
Your senryu certainly portrays human emotion. A positive push is now needed to cast out that shadow of the past and demonstrate the life that is definitely there.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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Your senryu certainly portrays human emotion. A positive push is now needed to cast out that shadow of the past and demonstrate the life that is definitely there.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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I'm happy this piece resonated with you. Thank you for dropping by to read and share your insights.
Comment from Sharon Haiste
I think this is a good entry for the Senryu writing prompt.
This short verse asks the reader to not consider the writer as a shadow.
Well said and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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I think this is a good entry for the Senryu writing prompt.
This short verse asks the reader to not consider the writer as a shadow.
Well said and I wish you luck with the contest.
Sharon
Comment Written 10-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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I'm happy this piece resonated with you. Thank you for dropping by to read and share your insights.
Comment from rspoet
You've written an excellent 5-7-5 senryu for the contest
that many can relate to. Sometimes there a great deal more
and even better than before.
Excellent picture to match
Well done
Good luck in the contest
Robert
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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You've written an excellent 5-7-5 senryu for the contest
that many can relate to. Sometimes there a great deal more
and even better than before.
Excellent picture to match
Well done
Good luck in the contest
Robert
Comment Written 10-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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I'm happy this piece resonated with you. Thank you for dropping by to read and share your insights.
Comment from May 1
Wow, that's such a deep poem. It's nice that you can express so much in so few words. All in all, I really enjoyed reading this poem and love the image you chose to go with this poem.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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Wow, that's such a deep poem. It's nice that you can express so much in so few words. All in all, I really enjoyed reading this poem and love the image you chose to go with this poem.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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I'm happy this piece resonated with you. Thank you for dropping by to read and share your insights.
Comment from Brooklyn02x
This poem has a very beautiful simplicity about it. The image attached brings it to life even more so than the words. I'm not entirely sure which aspect of human nature you were referencing.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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This poem has a very beautiful simplicity about it. The image attached brings it to life even more so than the words. I'm not entirely sure which aspect of human nature you were referencing.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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I'm happy this piece resonated with you. Thank you for dropping by to read and share your insights.
Comment from RodG
One wonders who the Speaker and the listener are. Perhaps the ex-husband and wife meeting after much time has elapsed since the divorce. Obviously, the Speaker is upset for being misjudged now . A lot of narrative conveyed in only 17 syllables. Thus, a nifty senyru. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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One wonders who the Speaker and the listener are. Perhaps the ex-husband and wife meeting after much time has elapsed since the divorce. Obviously, the Speaker is upset for being misjudged now . A lot of narrative conveyed in only 17 syllables. Thus, a nifty senyru. Rod
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2020
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I'm happy this piece resonated with you. Thank you for dropping by to read and share your insights.
