St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "St. Louis Chapter 20 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
22 total reviews
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello yet again Barbara, I finally finished playing catch up with your book. Another enjoyable chapter I have to say. I actually think that this would make a good movie. It has good characters, a good plot, and of course good writing. I will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2020
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Hello yet again Barbara, I finally finished playing catch up with your book. Another enjoyable chapter I have to say. I actually think that this would make a good movie. It has good characters, a good plot, and of course good writing. I will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2020
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Thank you for continuing to read. I appreciate the support.
Comment from Bill Pinder
I enjoyed reading this chapter in your book about the growing relationship between the couple and the investigation going on. I think you meant to say she "tilted" her head.
After "Joshua Davis"
Bill
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2020
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I enjoyed reading this chapter in your book about the growing relationship between the couple and the investigation going on. I think you meant to say she "tilted" her head.
After "Joshua Davis"
Bill
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2020
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I have made that correction. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Jeez Louise! What an ending to this part! I thought it was bad enough when they found so many bugs in the house. Well, done, Barbara - very! My only nit (if there's any at all) might be the timing of Mac's scream. I'd be tempted to put it right after "Nobody's hurt, but Bill's car exploded." That would make more sense, I think. THEN she could react with, "No, no!" crying, running down the stairs, and Logan comforting her. (She runs down the stars AFTER screaming in shock at hearing the news for the first time...???) What do you think?
Anyway, this is wonderful.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2020
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Jeez Louise! What an ending to this part! I thought it was bad enough when they found so many bugs in the house. Well, done, Barbara - very! My only nit (if there's any at all) might be the timing of Mac's scream. I'd be tempted to put it right after "Nobody's hurt, but Bill's car exploded." That would make more sense, I think. THEN she could react with, "No, no!" crying, running down the stairs, and Logan comforting her. (She runs down the stars AFTER screaming in shock at hearing the news for the first time...???) What do you think?
Anyway, this is wonderful.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2020
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I will check that area. I tend to get things in the wrong order. Thank you.
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:) Tell me about it. LOL. Currently back to that first novel -- what a mess trying to find pre-posted chapters, and boy, does it need revision!
Comment from emmaysavage
This is a very good chapter and a pleasure to read. You conveyed a strong feeling of foreboding without exaggeration and contributed to a deepening relationship
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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This is a very good chapter and a pleasure to read. You conveyed a strong feeling of foreboding without exaggeration and contributed to a deepening relationship
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
The pace is really beginning to hot up. Plenty of action in this one, both on the romantic and the investigative side. Smart move keeping the bugs for evidence. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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The pace is really beginning to hot up. Plenty of action in this one, both on the romantic and the investigative side. Smart move keeping the bugs for evidence. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ricky1024
"St Louis Chapter 20 Part 2."
Was well-written rich in Theme and Imagery.
As I got into this story halfway I saw how well it was becoming.
....
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
....
I like the way you ended this chapter also.
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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"St Louis Chapter 20 Part 2."
Was well-written rich in Theme and Imagery.
As I got into this story halfway I saw how well it was becoming.
....
It read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
....
I like the way you ended this chapter also.
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 07-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the encouraging words.
Comment from Sugarray77
This is an excellent addition to your story, Barbara. The tension keeps mounting and emotions are roiling and staying at a boiling point. Great job on dialogue and plot.
Melissa
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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This is an excellent addition to your story, Barbara. The tension keeps mounting and emotions are roiling and staying at a boiling point. Great job on dialogue and plot.
Melissa
Comment Written 07-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is not good! Just what is going on? What are they getting so close to that someone is trying to kill them all off? Whoever it is, must have put those house bugs in. He won't be happy that they have been removed. Well done this is a very exciting part. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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This is not good! Just what is going on? What are they getting so close to that someone is trying to kill them all off? Whoever it is, must have put those house bugs in. He won't be happy that they have been removed. Well done this is a very exciting part. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 07-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Barbara.wilkey,
Nice piece in continuation having smooth, spontaneous, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Interesting without any flaw.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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Hello Barbara.wilkey,
Nice piece in continuation having smooth, spontaneous, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end.
Interesting without any flaw.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Barbara.wilkey, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from RShipp
Wow! A stop at the the drug store and 'boooom!!!'. One luck main character.
I am enjoying your story. I understand the feelings of violation from being listening in on...
As usual... Looking forward to the next installment.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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Wow! A stop at the the drug store and 'boooom!!!'. One luck main character.
I am enjoying your story. I understand the feelings of violation from being listening in on...
As usual... Looking forward to the next installment.
Comment Written 07-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2020
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Thank you for the encouragement.
