"Beautiful!"
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "You Don't Own Me"Poetry at it's finest.
3 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Ricky1024
I like how you came up a song about some one doesn't own you. I read all the verses and chorus you wrote.
Your song will have a good beat, if you take out lines like this-Please take me to places that only your body owns?
and Don't try and reach me on some stupid phone
what about just saying, (Don't try and reach on a phone)
This line is too long--
I'm the Sun, the Moon, (and all the) take out and keep
' Blue Skies.'.
Ricky I'm confused of why you said in your song--
Now just the song lost in this melody?
Torture but never love me?
Gert
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
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Ricky1024
I like how you came up a song about some one doesn't own you. I read all the verses and chorus you wrote.
Your song will have a good beat, if you take out lines like this-Please take me to places that only your body owns?
and Don't try and reach me on some stupid phone
what about just saying, (Don't try and reach on a phone)
This line is too long--
I'm the Sun, the Moon, (and all the) take out and keep
' Blue Skies.'.
Ricky I'm confused of why you said in your song--
Now just the song lost in this melody?
Torture but never love me?
Gert
Comment Written 31-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
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I wrote this based on an 8 in the original song by change it around but it's basically based on Love gone Wrong and the person not wanting the live anymoreI did go through an edit it and change it around a little bit and and subtracted some things and added.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024
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You are welcome Ricky 1024
? do you want to read over what you have changed in your song.
Gert
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Smiles to you Ricky and have a Happy 2020
Gert
new year.
Comment from country ranch writer
Will it be enough for one in a relationship or will there be demands that keeps one from hampering one from seeking happiness?she'd die for him but would he for her when it came right down to it?
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
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Will it be enough for one in a relationship or will there be demands that keeps one from hampering one from seeking happiness?she'd die for him but would he for her when it came right down to it?
Comment Written 31-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
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The Ultimate Sacrifice.
To Die so others can live.
Doctor Ricky 1024
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More people should donate organs
Comment from NickieT
I thought that your lyrics worked well on their own, however, the author's note gave them an even greater context which I really appreciated. I think that having a balance towards the end with a female echo, "'I'm just a girl...
Pleased don't make me cry? I'm the Sun, the Moon, and all the Blue Skies..." added another layer to the entire piece strengthening it. Well done, I would love to hear the musical accompaniment for these lyrics.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
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I thought that your lyrics worked well on their own, however, the author's note gave them an even greater context which I really appreciated. I think that having a balance towards the end with a female echo, "'I'm just a girl...
Pleased don't make me cry? I'm the Sun, the Moon, and all the Blue Skies..." added another layer to the entire piece strengthening it. Well done, I would love to hear the musical accompaniment for these lyrics.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2019
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I've sent re-edited this and change it around added and subtracted some things.
What I basically did was sing it to myself.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024