"Beautiful!"
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Frozen"Poetry at it's finest.
3 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
Should be was in trouble, not wasn't. This is so sad to have to go through this seeing a loved one lying there knowing there is nothing you can do.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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Should be was in trouble, not wasn't. This is so sad to have to go through this seeing a loved one lying there knowing there is nothing you can do.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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Thanks corrected the typo and finished it.
"Frozen" (Continued)
Ricky
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a tragic story Ricky and I know you have had trouble coming to terms with these events and they have left such a lasting impression on you and your grief is deep and inconsolable, my thoughts are with you at this time of year, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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This is a tragic story Ricky and I know you have had trouble coming to terms with these events and they have left such a lasting impression on you and your grief is deep and inconsolable, my thoughts are with you at this time of year, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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We were not there it's been so long since this happened it hardly phases me to write about it I've never once had a nightmare.
This is continued with "Frozen" (Continued)
And thanks,
Ricky
Comment from Pantygynt
This poem tells a strangely disjointed story that really does require considerable emendation before it is ready for publication. The idea of a loved one being injured in a horrific accident certainly presents plenty of opportunity for dramatic poetry, but this needs considerable work doing on it.
'My wife was silently sleep having hopefully sweet dreams?' -- Sleeping or asleep I think or silent in sleep maybe. This ends with a question mark but it is not a question.
'I knew somebody wasn't trouble.' -- Did you mean somebody was in trouble?
'We delightfully enjoyed our 45-minute ride on the Garden State Parkway to the Atlantic City trauma Hospital in Atlantic City, New Jersey.' -- This seems an incredible thing to say in the light of the news 'we' have received. Think about what you have written here and reconsider.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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This poem tells a strangely disjointed story that really does require considerable emendation before it is ready for publication. The idea of a loved one being injured in a horrific accident certainly presents plenty of opportunity for dramatic poetry, but this needs considerable work doing on it.
'My wife was silently sleep having hopefully sweet dreams?' -- Sleeping or asleep I think or silent in sleep maybe. This ends with a question mark but it is not a question.
'I knew somebody wasn't trouble.' -- Did you mean somebody was in trouble?
'We delightfully enjoyed our 45-minute ride on the Garden State Parkway to the Atlantic City trauma Hospital in Atlantic City, New Jersey.' -- This seems an incredible thing to say in the light of the news 'we' have received. Think about what you have written here and reconsider.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2019
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thanks for your kind thoughts and that had not been completely entity yet that's why it says continued valleys poems just gave me 5 Stars by the way talking about the tragedy of this true story so perhaps you would reconsider your review wait for the second part though when it's completed.
Dr. Ricky 1024