New Leaf
Woman who decides it's never too late.13 total reviews
Comment from Rachelle Allen
And you've made us like this Justine girl so much, we all want her to get her wish! What a sweet, happy, delightful story. So simple, yet so totally appealing. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
  |
And you've made us like this Justine girl so much, we all want her to get her wish! What a sweet, happy, delightful story. So simple, yet so totally appealing. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
-
Thank you so much. I appreciate that.
Gretchen
Comment from w.j.debi
You know how to write a chapter! Your character development is good. I can feel for Justine. She needs the confidence to accept herself, and she is taking the first step by walking into the beauty salon and putting her trust into the stylist. Great way to build up the expectations, and then leave the results to the reader. It would be a great way to end a chapter and get someone to turn the page to the next one.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
|
You know how to write a chapter! Your character development is good. I can feel for Justine. She needs the confidence to accept herself, and she is taking the first step by walking into the beauty salon and putting her trust into the stylist. Great way to build up the expectations, and then leave the results to the reader. It would be a great way to end a chapter and get someone to turn the page to the next one.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
-
Thank you for your great review. Gretchen
Comment from JudyE
I've always had trouble with my hair but now for the first time, I think it quite suits me. Being 'old', I don't have quite the same choices any more. But you're quite correct - a new hairstyle can make all the difference.
I picked up one small point:
She had lunch at Giannini's every Friday. They served a tasty eggplant parmesan and Justine would indulge in a small glass of Chardonnay. When lunch ended, Justine would make her slow walk back to lunch, - did you mean 'back from lunch'?
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
|
I've always had trouble with my hair but now for the first time, I think it quite suits me. Being 'old', I don't have quite the same choices any more. But you're quite correct - a new hairstyle can make all the difference.
I picked up one small point:
She had lunch at Giannini's every Friday. They served a tasty eggplant parmesan and Justine would indulge in a small glass of Chardonnay. When lunch ended, Justine would make her slow walk back to lunch, - did you mean 'back from lunch'?
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 03-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from Susan Larson
A good haircut can make all the difference in the world and it takes a good hairdresser to see what you need. A little makeup also helps. I like to think Justine discovers who she really is and sticks with it.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
|
A good haircut can make all the difference in the world and it takes a good hairdresser to see what you need. A little makeup also helps. I like to think Justine discovers who she really is and sticks with it.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I agree. Women need to take time to feel pretty. It makes a huge different.
When lunch ended, Justine would make her slow walk back to lunch, pausing to look into the salon right next to Giannini's. (The second lunch confuses me.)
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
|
I agree. Women need to take time to feel pretty. It makes a huge different.
When lunch ended, Justine would make her slow walk back to lunch, pausing to look into the salon right next to Giannini's. (The second lunch confuses me.)
Comment Written 02-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much. Gretchen
Comment from Barbaraj1
I loved your story. I was wondering how it was going to end. I think it
was the perfect ending leaving it up to the reader. You have one error you
should correct. It's in the fourth paragraph. Justine finished her lunch
and now was going back to lunch (work is the correct word)
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
|
I loved your story. I was wondering how it was going to end. I think it
was the perfect ending leaving it up to the reader. You have one error you
should correct. It's in the fourth paragraph. Justine finished her lunch
and now was going back to lunch (work is the correct word)
Comment Written 02-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from papa55mike
Maybe that's what I need, new hair color and a fancy style? Something to think about. I love this wonderfully written story and I'm rooting for Justine. We are all 10s in God's eyes. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
 |
Maybe that's what I need, new hair color and a fancy style? Something to think about. I love this wonderfully written story and I'm rooting for Justine. We are all 10s in God's eyes. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 02-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
-
Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is so true, Gretchen. At sixteen I went to the Beauty Parlor for the first time and she gave me a poodle cut. What a difference! It gave me a load of self confidence and I retained that to this day. I take pride in the way I look even if I am 84. LOL Good story, well done! Nancy:)
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
|
This is so true, Gretchen. At sixteen I went to the Beauty Parlor for the first time and she gave me a poodle cut. What a difference! It gave me a load of self confidence and I retained that to this day. I take pride in the way I look even if I am 84. LOL Good story, well done! Nancy:)
Comment Written 02-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
-
Thank you very much! Gretchen
Comment from Alex Rosel
I liked the story a lot. I'm sure many will be able to relate to it {thumbs up}. It's nicely told, but there are a few points you might like to consider.
A sturdy 4 in a room full of 10's. -- Spag. I see an apostrophe used a lot in this and similar contexts. Yet both The Chicago Manual of Style (ref, 7.15) and New Hart's Rules (ref, 11.6.1) recommend an omission of any apostrophe. So, I'd write it as 10s.
So, she missed the makeup stage in junior high, the bare midriff high school stage, and the bohemian chic look of college. -- I like this narrative snippet. It places the story in time {thumbs up}.
When lunch ended, Justine would make her slow walk back to lunch, pausing to look into the salon right next to Giannini's. -- This confused me. Do you mean "from" instead of "to"?
That was putting a lot of trust in a pair of scissors. -- Ha, ha! I love this snippet; it carries attitude {thumbs up}.
"Can I help you?" asked a young woman with dark purple hair that was cut close to her scalp. -- Personally, I'm always looking to omit the word that whenever I can. This is because unnecessary words tend to detract from the pace of the prose. So, if removing the word that doesn't change the meaning, then I will delete it. Such is the case here. The snappier result has the same meaning: "Can I help you?" asked a young woman with dark purple hair cut close to her scalp.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
|
I liked the story a lot. I'm sure many will be able to relate to it {thumbs up}. It's nicely told, but there are a few points you might like to consider.
A sturdy 4 in a room full of 10's. -- Spag. I see an apostrophe used a lot in this and similar contexts. Yet both The Chicago Manual of Style (ref, 7.15) and New Hart's Rules (ref, 11.6.1) recommend an omission of any apostrophe. So, I'd write it as 10s.
So, she missed the makeup stage in junior high, the bare midriff high school stage, and the bohemian chic look of college. -- I like this narrative snippet. It places the story in time {thumbs up}.
When lunch ended, Justine would make her slow walk back to lunch, pausing to look into the salon right next to Giannini's. -- This confused me. Do you mean "from" instead of "to"?
That was putting a lot of trust in a pair of scissors. -- Ha, ha! I love this snippet; it carries attitude {thumbs up}.
"Can I help you?" asked a young woman with dark purple hair that was cut close to her scalp. -- Personally, I'm always looking to omit the word that whenever I can. This is because unnecessary words tend to detract from the pace of the prose. So, if removing the word that doesn't change the meaning, then I will delete it. Such is the case here. The snappier result has the same meaning: "Can I help you?" asked a young woman with dark purple hair cut close to her scalp.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
-
Thank you for your great review. Gretchen
Comment from jenintorre
I really enjoyed reading this story but felt let down at the end as I would like to have had some reaction from Justine when she looked in the mirror. Perhaps you could extend it a little. Take care. Jen.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
|
I really enjoyed reading this story but felt let down at the end as I would like to have had some reaction from Justine when she looked in the mirror. Perhaps you could extend it a little. Take care. Jen.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2020
-
Thank you so much. Gretchen
