Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

Blue is a tricky one :). With his talent for manipulating words this advantage he should be a politician LOL. Well, the dragons are in it now and will probably remain so but I take comfort in that since I think they will eventually turn the tables on those 'bad men'. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2019

Thanks! Yes, these little dragons are clever. They are 'in it now.' Keeping them a secret forever was not going to work.

Comment from Sylvia Page

Exceptional

This is an action packed chapter laced with a lot of surprises. Aaron and Dylan were crestfallen when they saw how outnumbered they were. Was it the witch or the dragons or all of them who came to their rescue all in the nick of time?
Sylvia

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2019

Thanks. The dragons threw the stuff. The witch kept them from being seen. Dylan doesn't know about the dragons til the next chapter.

Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux

Excellent

This is getting better all the time. I read a few different stories on here that are intriguing, engaging, and hold my attention. You've penned one of them. I'm enjoying this and look forward to the next installment of this well written work. Well done!

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2019

Thanks. I'm so glad you're still enjoying my story

Comment from JudyE

Excellent

I enjoyed reading this. The pacing was good and the dialogue very natural.

I picked up a few points.

Aaron didn't argue. He watched Dylan until he disappeared into the cabin and went to find Duane and the dragons. - I might have said 'then went to find...'. Otherwise, it sounds a bit as though Dylan went to look for Duane.

Within a few minutes they found themselves - comma after 'minutes'

A few archers tried firing over top of the shields- should be 'firing over the top...'

Blue hadn't agreed that the dragons wouldn't help him, he'd simply said the bad men wouldn't see them, and they hadn't. - I might have put a period after 'wouldn't help him'

A few who had fled into the lake returned home - comma after 'lake'

The man who had surrendered to Aaron, along with a handful of others, were being taken back to the king for questioning. - this might be better written as 'The man who had surrendered to Aaron was being taken back to the king for questioning, along with a handful of others.'

"I told you to expect a few more surprises. Don't worry, you're perfectly safe. Leave your weapons by the door. You don't want to scare anyone. - speech marks needed after 'anyone'

Kind regards
Judy

 Comment Written 07-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2019

Thanks for catching all the spag. Looks like I have some editing to do,

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Well done, Cindy. This was action-packed and full of surprises. I was surprised as the men helping Aaron. Everything fit and created a great chapter. I hope the dragons will be ok. thanks for sharing. Looking forward to the next chapter. Respectfully with love, Jan

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 07-Nov-2019

Thanks. I'm so glad you enjoyed this new chapter.

Comment from damommy

Excellent

Hurray for the dragons. There weren't about to let Aaron be defeated or killed. Wouldn't you like to see those faces when the rocks began to fall, and then the burning log. Great strategy!

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2019

Thanks. I did imagine their faces, all of them, when I wrote it. Glad you could too.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Good episode. Was it the witch that helped by throwing things from the sky or was it the dragons. I thought dragons had done it, but then they were thanking the witch. ???

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2019

Thanks. The dragons threw the stuff. The witch kept anyone from seeing them.

Comment from juliaSjames

Exceptional

Cindy this is a fantastic chapter. I was captivated. You set up a scenario in which the dragons turned the tide of battle. Readers now know the dragons can make themselves invisible. We already knew about their loyalty and feistiness. Glad the flamers came into their own.

Now Aaron has to figure out the next step wrt Dylan.

Blessings Julia

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2019

Thanks for the six! Aaron will not be able to keep his secret. But he needs to be very careful. There's still a king who would like to eat the dragons.

Comment from CrystieCookie999

Exceptional

This is a very well-written chapter. It has been a long, long time since I could read a selection this long and not find anything major to fix. In fact, I only want to point out one sentence and one comma:
"Hear anything," he asked softly.
Just use a question mark, since it's a question.
Now with this sentence:
They'd arrived at the cabin, and unsaddled their horses
You can take the comma out after cabin, since it is only a plural verb. I would like to bet you were just taking a breath there if you had read it aloud.
This is so professional.

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2019

Thanks. I'll fix that question mark right away.

Comment from Mistydawn

Excellent

What a suspenseful chapter. I'm so glad it worked out as well as it did. Now I hope Dylan can keep his secret. Hope they'll be ready if the men decide to come back. This is very well-written, interesting. Nicely done.

 Comment Written 06-Nov-2019

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reply by the author on 06-Nov-2019

Thanks. Dylan knows when to keep his mouth shut. He's also willing to make some unusual alliances.