Aaron's Dragons
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The White Dragon"An aging knight finds a clutch of dragon eggs
16 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
I am loathe to drop in on a book here for many reasons, not the least of which is an inability to offer many helpful suggestions if they are needed. But this doesn't seem to really need any. I'll offer only this: I would change "egg" to "shell" in paragraph one, sentence four. Well done!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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I am loathe to drop in on a book here for many reasons, not the least of which is an inability to offer many helpful suggestions if they are needed. But this doesn't seem to really need any. I'll offer only this: I would change "egg" to "shell" in paragraph one, sentence four. Well done!
Comment Written 17-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Thanks. I know what you mean about coming into a book late. It's hard. I appreciate the suggestion. I'll re-check the first paragraph.
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You're very welcome.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Cindy, I enjoyed your new chapter abouut the dragons. I think I've told you before that fantasy writing is not really my thing, but I got drawn to your well told story. I would look at the start of this chapter where you use 'scared' quite a lot. I would edit a couple of them. Looking forward to what's next. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Hi Cindy, I enjoyed your new chapter abouut the dragons. I think I've told you before that fantasy writing is not really my thing, but I got drawn to your well told story. I would look at the start of this chapter where you use 'scared' quite a lot. I would edit a couple of them. Looking forward to what's next. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Thanks. Seems that first paragraph needs some editing. Thanks for letting me know.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
What a wonderful evening catching up on this fascinating and colorful story :). You are so creative in describing your dragons. How beautiful they all are. Poor black, has to learn the hard way! :(. I like how you included white in the sleep time conversations before even hatching! Great touch! Sorry it has taken me a minute to catch up! Trying to suck up all of the new grandson as I can before they go back to Chicago! keep writing my friend! This is unique and wonderful story! xoxo
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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What a wonderful evening catching up on this fascinating and colorful story :). You are so creative in describing your dragons. How beautiful they all are. Poor black, has to learn the hard way! :(. I like how you included white in the sleep time conversations before even hatching! Great touch! Sorry it has taken me a minute to catch up! Trying to suck up all of the new grandson as I can before they go back to Chicago! keep writing my friend! This is unique and wonderful story! xoxo
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2019
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Thanks. And congratulations on that new grandson. Glad you're enjoying my story.
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Thank you and it is my pleasure to have the privilege to read! :)
Comment from AvL
Ms. Warren's "draconian" fantasy is well-penned and entertainingly told. The logical consistency of her plot coheres in a plausible way; and the dialogue is sharp, crisp, and cogent. The "color-coded" dragonlings and the arrow-pierced pine-cones are nice touches that appeal to the reader's visual imagination. Well-done, O Mother-of-Dragons.
AvL
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Ms. Warren's "draconian" fantasy is well-penned and entertainingly told. The logical consistency of her plot coheres in a plausible way; and the dialogue is sharp, crisp, and cogent. The "color-coded" dragonlings and the arrow-pierced pine-cones are nice touches that appeal to the reader's visual imagination. Well-done, O Mother-of-Dragons.
AvL
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Thanks. They've been fun characters to create and develop. Hope you will stay tuned for more.
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May your brood grow strong and powerful.
AvL
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Beautiful chapter the dragons helping the injured brother but also ensuring that they don't become food for one another. I like this small dragon colony, waiting for the next one. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Beautiful chapter the dragons helping the injured brother but also ensuring that they don't become food for one another. I like this small dragon colony, waiting for the next one. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Thanks. Glad you're enjoying it.
Comment from Nowhereman1
Very well written chapter. I have been enjoying this story as I have been following along. The story is very entertaining and easy to read. Thank you for sharing another chapter.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Very well written chapter. I have been enjoying this story as I have been following along. The story is very entertaining and easy to read. Thank you for sharing another chapter.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much for following my story. I'm so glad you're enjoying it.
Comment from Sallyo
Another grand chapter! Poor Black will, I hope, get the point. The dragons and humans are turning into a nice little community. Maybe Aaron's found the job he was born for!
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Another grand chapter! Poor Black will, I hope, get the point. The dragons and humans are turning into a nice little community. Maybe Aaron's found the job he was born for!
Comment Written 16-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Thanks! These were fun characters to create and develop. I hope to get back to the story tonight. I have a job interview at 1:00. Hopefully after that I'll make some headway on the next chapter.
Comment from juliaSjames
Aaron has true leadership qualities which will stand him in good stead in the dangerous times ahead. He is able to persuade the other dragons to show kindness to Black. Waiting to see what dragons will appear from the remaining eggs.
I think that warriors like Red and Black can be trained to help defend the group in battle.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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Aaron has true leadership qualities which will stand him in good stead in the dangerous times ahead. He is able to persuade the other dragons to show kindness to Black. Waiting to see what dragons will appear from the remaining eggs.
I think that warriors like Red and Black can be trained to help defend the group in battle.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 15-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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Thanks. Red and Black are pretty feisty. Let's see if Aaron can keep them from eating each other!
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi Cindy,
What's nor to like about this story. I love your descriptions of the little dragons, and my heart goes out to black. I do hope he learns his lesson and this particular episode teaches younger readers the meaning of rust and friendship.
Great work.
Brenda.x
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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Hi Cindy,
What's nor to like about this story. I love your descriptions of the little dragons, and my heart goes out to black. I do hope he learns his lesson and this particular episode teaches younger readers the meaning of rust and friendship.
Great work.
Brenda.x
Comment Written 15-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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Thanks! I'm so glad you're enjoying all my little dragons. They've been a lot of fun to create and develop.
Comment from Mistydawn
Hopefully, black's attitude will change now that he's shown a little kindness. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting. I love your little story, how Aaron taught them a few lessons.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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Hopefully, black's attitude will change now that he's shown a little kindness. Your chapter is well-written, very interesting. I love your little story, how Aaron taught them a few lessons.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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Thanks. Do you think Aaron might have made up a story to get them to give Black a chance?
