The Audience
Just remembering Dean.14 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I often use this phrase either the reader or the audience interesting that it's actually in this story:"The audience, every single person, had moved forward to the edge of their seats in anticipation." I like letting the writer know how compelling their story is. The alliterative s's are perfect here. They become onomatopoetic also. Great ending. good job.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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I often use this phrase either the reader or the audience interesting that it's actually in this story:"The audience, every single person, had moved forward to the edge of their seats in anticipation." I like letting the writer know how compelling their story is. The alliterative s's are perfect here. They become onomatopoetic also. Great ending. good job.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much Liz for reading, reviewing and your kind comments.
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It was good
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, Dean would have loved this. I never could get into horror and I made the mistake of telling him. He was quite offended. Sigh. But he was an amazing poet and probably is writing some superb verses and trying to scare the angels.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Oh, Dean would have loved this. I never could get into horror and I made the mistake of telling him. He was quite offended. Sigh. But he was an amazing poet and probably is writing some superb verses and trying to scare the angels.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much, Helen. That was indeed the greatest of compliments. Oh I am so sorry he was offended, I agree to the sigh. And I also agree that he is trying to scare some angels. Hugs
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Dean would be proud of you for not only delivering a truly chilling piece, but for trying and helping to keep his legacy alive as his favorite holiday approaches. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
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Dean would be proud of you for not only delivering a truly chilling piece, but for trying and helping to keep his legacy alive as his favorite holiday approaches. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2019
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You are so welcome, I am so glad this was my effort to Dean's legacy, you kind comments are so important.
Comment from robyn corum
Alie,
Wellll... Yuuu-UCK! I was not expecting that. Not from you. Sweet little Alie. Well, okay, maybe not all the time sweet - but never quite THIS not-sweet. hahaha
But this would be right up Dean's alley. He would have loved it. All that hissing is still making my insides icky. Yuck!!!!!!
A couple of notes for you, though:
1.) "I again, ask why I should be merciful?"
--> "I again ask(,) why I should be merciful?"
2.) (Wherever) did that greenish hue come from(?)
Thanksss for a sssssliightly grossssss few mommentsssss....
hehehehe
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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Alie,
Wellll... Yuuu-UCK! I was not expecting that. Not from you. Sweet little Alie. Well, okay, maybe not all the time sweet - but never quite THIS not-sweet. hahaha
But this would be right up Dean's alley. He would have loved it. All that hissing is still making my insides icky. Yuck!!!!!!
A couple of notes for you, though:
1.) "I again, ask why I should be merciful?"
--> "I again ask(,) why I should be merciful?"
2.) (Wherever) did that greenish hue come from(?)
Thanksss for a sssssliightly grossssss few mommentsssss....
hehehehe
Comment Written 15-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much Robyn, I will make those changes in a few moments. Yeah, I did not know what possessed me, but I really did want to do something for Dean. You would never guess from it that I really, really dislike snakes.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Alie. You've done an excellent job with this story inspired by Dean's horror genre. It sure kept me on the edge of my seat, too. What could be more horrible than face (and death) by being devoured by the snake. Marilyn
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
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Hi Alie. You've done an excellent job with this story inspired by Dean's horror genre. It sure kept me on the edge of my seat, too. What could be more horrible than face (and death) by being devoured by the snake. Marilyn
Comment Written 14-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much Marilyn. I am glad you were pleased with my meager attempt to do something in honor of Dean. I really, really dislike snakes so this was definitely a challenge for me.
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LOL. Not many people do like snakes.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Well, now, that was totally unexpected, my lady!! ;) :) You certainly had me hooked to the end cuz I just kept thinking that surely Timothy would get away... ! ;) :) Thanx for sharing that wonderful tribute to our beloved Dean, Alie! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
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Well, now, that was totally unexpected, my lady!! ;) :) You certainly had me hooked to the end cuz I just kept thinking that surely Timothy would get away... ! ;) :) Thanx for sharing that wonderful tribute to our beloved Dean, Alie! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
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Thank you Yvette for reviewing, I surprised even me, it was just there and I listened to my muse. I really, really dislike snakes of any kind but this popped into my head and kept saying do it for Dean, so I did.
Comment from poetwatch
Well Alie all you needed was the music that Dean played while the beast devoured the child. :) Are you trying to take over the horror genre? Do it! We need a scare once in a while. Good and creepy store.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
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Well Alie all you needed was the music that Dean played while the beast devoured the child. :) Are you trying to take over the horror genre? Do it! We need a scare once in a while. Good and creepy store.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much Jose, no I don't think anyone could replace Dean and I definitely do not want to take over the horror genre. Maybe now and then I will get creative.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow! Dean would be impressed. Really good job. Horror was never my cup of tea, but I have to appreciate this one. Nice touch having the ssssnake hisssss!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Wow! Dean would be impressed. Really good job. Horror was never my cup of tea, but I have to appreciate this one. Nice touch having the ssssnake hisssss!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much Phyllis. Horror is not really my cup of tea, but I thought of trying one for Dean. I really really do not like snakes of any kind or size, so this was a challenge. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Pantygynt
A suitably scary story as a memento of our late friend, Dean. I did think he was going to get away il the the end. Oh well, you won't be able to use him again.
Now, I think something has gone slightly amiss here:
'They awaited the macaw events about to unfold.'
A macaw is a parrot like bird! My gues is that you knew that but your autocorrect didn't recognise 'macabre'. Am I right?
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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A suitably scary story as a memento of our late friend, Dean. I did think he was going to get away il the the end. Oh well, you won't be able to use him again.
Now, I think something has gone slightly amiss here:
'They awaited the macaw events about to unfold.'
A macaw is a parrot like bird! My gues is that you knew that but your autocorrect didn't recognise 'macabre'. Am I right?
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Thank you for your great review and your corrective suggestion, which I will correct in a moment. Darn auto correct.
Comment from Alex Rosel
A good story indicative of the Edgar Allan Poe brand of horror {smiles}.
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
The stage was darkened. -- For me, this is a bit too telling. If this was mine, I'd start with "The only light, which was dim, fell on Timothy." It's where the story starts, and should intrigue the reader; it's the hook.
the jaws unhinged and devoured Timothy's face. -- I like the imagery of this. The "jaws unhinged" does it for me. It's an unnerving detail. {thumbs up}.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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A good story indicative of the Edgar Allan Poe brand of horror {smiles}.
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
The stage was darkened. -- For me, this is a bit too telling. If this was mine, I'd start with "The only light, which was dim, fell on Timothy." It's where the story starts, and should intrigue the reader; it's the hook.
the jaws unhinged and devoured Timothy's face. -- I like the imagery of this. The "jaws unhinged" does it for me. It's an unnerving detail. {thumbs up}.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2019
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Thank you for your review, and for your suggestion which I will correct in a moment, it does make sense, again thanks.
