Maiden voyage
Exhilarating, quiet floating in air without a care.53 total reviews
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
This is a light and lively free verse using excellent thoughts and sights that makes us feel the freedom of the first voyage into bliss. Nicely done for the challange
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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This is a light and lively free verse using excellent thoughts and sights that makes us feel the freedom of the first voyage into bliss. Nicely done for the challange
Comment Written 07-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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Thank you Barb...
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, JLR, with your free verse for the Picture This Club. I enjoyed reading it. Your lines read well, there is some scattered internal rhyme, great imagery--I felt as though I was along for the ride, and some assonance and consonance. A tiny suggestion, if I may would be to vary the number of lines in each verse. You could even put the 'Up, up, away, we sway' on a line by itself. You do not want free verse to be predictable in the number of lines per verse. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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You did a great job, JLR, with your free verse for the Picture This Club. I enjoyed reading it. Your lines read well, there is some scattered internal rhyme, great imagery--I felt as though I was along for the ride, and some assonance and consonance. A tiny suggestion, if I may would be to vary the number of lines in each verse. You could even put the 'Up, up, away, we sway' on a line by itself. You do not want free verse to be predictable in the number of lines per verse. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 07-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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Han I love your suggestion. I have learned as a result I have this freedom. You make me smile...and, boy I needed that. Thanks JLR.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
It is an amazing experience I have been blessed to be able to enjoy three times :). This meets the Club Challenge well as you deliver a well penned Free Verse that expresses the joy of a hot air balloon ride splendidly. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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It is an amazing experience I have been blessed to be able to enjoy three times :). This meets the Club Challenge well as you deliver a well penned Free Verse that expresses the joy of a hot air balloon ride splendidly. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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Thank you
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi JLR. You've written a descriptive poem of a balloon ride. I almost felt as if I was there myself. I particularly like these lines:
"Hush, I can hear the venting of air,
As we begin descending, at such a pace
I think my knees wobble beneath me."
Marilyn
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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Hi JLR. You've written a descriptive poem of a balloon ride. I almost felt as if I was there myself. I particularly like these lines:
"Hush, I can hear the venting of air,
As we begin descending, at such a pace
I think my knees wobble beneath me."
Marilyn
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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Thank you, I have disabled it this am as I have been kindly advised I have some technical holes. I?ll focus on this and see if I can correctly address the issues while my wife is in surgery today, a good distraction for my soul..
Comment from Diana L Crawford
What a beautiful interpretation of the chosen picture! You describe the flight with such enticing detail. I definitely want to take a ride in one but it's rare to find it offered near me! Thank you for sharing you wonderful perspective! xoxo
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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What a beautiful interpretation of the chosen picture! You describe the flight with such enticing detail. I definitely want to take a ride in one but it's rare to find it offered near me! Thank you for sharing you wonderful perspective! xoxo
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
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Thank you so much Diana, I had great club feedback Thank you, I have disabled this submission, I will rework it while my wife is in surgery today, it will provide the needed distraction, I value each and every honest feedback, such as yours.
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xoxo! prayers for your wife!
Comment from lyenochka
A pleasant blank verse done in tercets. You're way ahead of the game as it's not due for another couple of weeks. I think you given us a real taste for what it feels like especially the knee wobbling during descent!
I think I'd like to experience that but my hubby has some fear of heights.
Hoping and praying that your wife's wrist surgery goes smoothly and successfully tomorrow!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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A pleasant blank verse done in tercets. You're way ahead of the game as it's not due for another couple of weeks. I think you given us a real taste for what it feels like especially the knee wobbling during descent!
I think I'd like to experience that but my hubby has some fear of heights.
Hoping and praying that your wife's wrist surgery goes smoothly and successfully tomorrow!
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Your warm thoughts and well wishes are carrying us through on a river of prayers. Thank you..
Comment from Belen Kintner
This takes the reader on an adventure, it was enjoyable to read. Descriptive journey. If I were not afraid of heights, I would want to experience a hot air balloon ride.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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This takes the reader on an adventure, it was enjoyable to read. Descriptive journey. If I were not afraid of heights, I would want to experience a hot air balloon ride.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thanks
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written poem you have penned for the Autumn Balloon Ride - Pix This Challenge group. You used very good descriptive words that went so well with the picture. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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This is a very well written poem you have penned for the Autumn Balloon Ride - Pix This Challenge group. You used very good descriptive words that went so well with the picture. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thank you very, very much!
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you are so welcome. Blessings, Teri
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A massive balloon, adorned in a Kaleidoscope
of colors, that radiate off a cloudy, sunset sky,
This is a great poetic verse. The poem perfectly fits the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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A massive balloon, adorned in a Kaleidoscope
of colors, that radiate off a cloudy, sunset sky,
This is a great poetic verse. The poem perfectly fits the contest.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thank you very, very much!
Comment from Wils
Very nicely written. You've given me an insight into something I've been wanting to do for a long time. Reading this has made me want it even more. For that I give you six stars.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Very nicely written. You've given me an insight into something I've been wanting to do for a long time. Reading this has made me want it even more. For that I give you six stars.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2019
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Thank you very, very much!
