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St Louis

Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "St. Louis Chapter 14 part 2"
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?

16 total reviews 
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Barbara,

I'm running really late in reading, but at least I'm here! hahaha And, yes. Sorry, looks like you did add more goofs when you edited - so I'm here to save the day! hahaha

Notes:
1.) "I didn't know who else to come (to). I'm going

2.) had an appointment with? If so, who is he? What is his job with the PD?(")

3.) "I'll give you (that?). Just eat your muffin."

4.) Kate Middleton-- you mention this character, but did you know this is a real person? A VERY amous one? The Duchess of Cambridge of The Royal Family

5.) Sidney, all she knew (was) there was some guy calling Megan often

I think that's it. Thanks!

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2019
    I need to change her name. It's a complete mistake. I don't have time to follow famous people. I will fix that. I have made the corrects. I really appreciate the help.
reply by robyn corum on 12-Oct-2019
    Yeah, I get it. I don't follow social media or the news either, but even IIIII knew that one. hahahahaha (So she must be REALLLY famous.) hahahah
Comment from the13thpoet
Excellent
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Hello Barbara, a wonderful Wednesday to you. I think this is one of the few stories that I actually started reading from the beginning and it has kept me engaged. I can't wait to see how this mystery unfolds and how they're relationship blossoms. Good job.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 09-Oct-2019
    I really appreciate the encouragement. Thank you.
Comment from SLMorrical
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Interesting that Logan asked if it was Mac's grandfather who could have put a hit out on her. This story just keeps getting more and more intriguing. I think Logan got more than he bargained for with Mac. This flows very well. It is an easy read to follow. I look forward to the next post,

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
    I think Logan is enjoying every second of Mac's habits and stubbornness. I don't think he likes easy. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Melonie Kirchoff
Excellent
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Great story you have going here. It feels like something I would actually like to read. I like the amount of conversation you include as well as the internal thoughts of the main character. Happy writing!

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I would have had a fit had someone unloaded garbage in my drive. LOL. Seems as if you got things working toward finding answers badly needed in this story.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It looks like a lot of suspects are not in the clear. There certainly lots of lapses during the crime scene investigation. I'm beginning to like this Sidney as a suspect. We now know that Mac's grandfather is dead, and Mac was about 13 when he died. Sounds like the circumstances were suspicious. Now Mac has had another threat. Her dogs were heard going crazy, and it seems like it was because someone had dumped garbage in the driveway. Like it or not, Mac is lucky to have Logan around. Someone is out to get her. Great suspense in this! judi

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by judiverse on 08-Oct-2019
    You're welcome. I hope things are going smoothly for you at school this year. judi
Comment from sandramitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love how you have involved our future Queen of England, Kate Middleton, in your story, this is really up market!!! LOL

This is getting really interesting, obviously there is a dirty cop involved, maybe more than one. What on earth could Megan have been into? Something someone didn't want her telling anyone about, that's for sure. The intrigue is great, Barbara, and the pace is perfect. Well done, a very enjoyable chapter. )) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Excellent
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Megan crime investigation continues in full blast: too many variables and not enough suspects. Is the Police involved in this crime, the crime scene is not analyzed properly by the authorities. On the other hand we have a love story in development. What's next? Thank you for sharing and good luck with your chapter.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Richard Van Kirk
Good
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Thank you for your story. Not knowing the previous chapters leaves me with little to go on, other than the 1500 words you've written. Color your story. Even if you said in 10 chapters that McKenzie had long black hair, when you say: "McKenzie brushed a piece of hair from her mouth." What color was it? (Mc brushed a piece of brown hair from her mouth.) I want to SEE what is happening, you are letting me hear it only. Mc says, "I'll find us a table," she said as she walked away. " Where? in the back of the room? By the window? A two-seater tall table with stools against the far wall. Show me. Show me Bill's office. They went to the ADA's office, all glass walls, old sofa, old carpet, fingerprints on the door, or whatever. I want to see Bill's office. Why does Bill "study" Logan? Is he studying him to catch him in a lie? Or studying him because it's so obvious Mc like him and Bill's a tad jealous? Why does all the men give Mc hugs? Because she lost someone close. They felt embarrassed about her loss. They wanted to know they were close, if she needed anything. I can see a lot of work here. Keep writing!

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 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Making some progress but not much. Donny Whatshisname sounds important. I hope we learn more about Megan to figure out why she was killed. Crime of passion or a plot to get rid of her for some reason?

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2019


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2019
    Thank you for the kind review.