Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 152 "haiku - from the sea"Assorted poetry
12 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
Bill, This is a very nice and well written Haiku you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words and very nice imagery from the art work you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
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Bill, This is a very nice and well written Haiku you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words and very nice imagery from the art work you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 08-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Teri
Comment from Y. M. Roger
LOL! What a fun play on words, sir! I'm sure you've been told all sorts of 'haiku' definition and no-no's (I know I'm behind, sorry!!) so I'm just gonna say that I thought the whole thing is beyond clever and I certainly needed that clever smile today!! ;) So, thanx for sharing your wit! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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LOL! What a fun play on words, sir! I'm sure you've been told all sorts of 'haiku' definition and no-no's (I know I'm behind, sorry!!) so I'm just gonna say that I thought the whole thing is beyond clever and I certainly needed that clever smile today!! ;) So, thanx for sharing your wit! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 02-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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Yes, it's definitely losing this contest, but I like it.
Comment from judiverse
Cleverly done. I like your word play with "centaur." Best of luck in the contest. This is an unusual, creative one. Nice sound repetition with sea and see. Starting with the phrase makes for an excellent flow. Great artwork. judi
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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Cleverly done. I like your word play with "centaur." Best of luck in the contest. This is an unusual, creative one. Nice sound repetition with sea and see. Starting with the phrase makes for an excellent flow. Great artwork. judi
Comment Written 02-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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Thank you, Judi. I like it as a 5-7-5. It has been severely bashed as a haiku.
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You're welcome. I don't know haiku from a kerchoo and never attempt them. It's picky, picky when it comes to haiku. judi
Comment from nomi338
This gives brand new meaning to some old familiar sayings: 'hung like a horse', 'he rode her like a horse', 'he acted like a horse's ass', 'Old horse face', 'he pissed like a race horse', etc.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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This gives brand new meaning to some old familiar sayings: 'hung like a horse', 'he rode her like a horse', 'he acted like a horse's ass', 'Old horse face', 'he pissed like a race horse', etc.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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...and, of course, screw him and the horse he rode in on.
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Right. I forgot that one.
Comment from Mark D. R.
Bill,
We both recognize how challenging it is to compose a Haiku that expresses an image in our heads. Your centaur verse and picture complement each other to that end. I too have used FanArtist jgrace.
Mark
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Bill,
We both recognize how challenging it is to compose a Haiku that expresses an image in our heads. Your centaur verse and picture complement each other to that end. I too have used FanArtist jgrace.
Mark
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Thanks, Mark. This haiku won?t win a contest.
Comment from kahpot
I like the center or pivot line in this Haiku, as it compliments the artwork, a very well presented poem for this prompt, best wishes with the judging****kahpot
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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I like the center or pivot line in this Haiku, as it compliments the artwork, a very well presented poem for this prompt, best wishes with the judging****kahpot
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Thank you, kahpot
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I liked the unique use of the word 'centaur' here with its double meaning you captured the essence of the Haiku and brought the scene to our eyes here Bill, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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I liked the unique use of the word 'centaur' here with its double meaning you captured the essence of the Haiku and brought the scene to our eyes here Bill, love Dolly x
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Thank you, Dolly
Comment from Susan X Smith
Ha, ha, very cute pun (centaur). This certainly fits the Haiku format in terms of meter, but as to other specifications of Haiku I don't know enough to say. The picture is great for this work.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Ha, ha, very cute pun (centaur). This certainly fits the Haiku format in terms of meter, but as to other specifications of Haiku I don't know enough to say. The picture is great for this work.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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I like it as a 5-7-5, but the judges probably won?t let it pass as a haiku.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Elements of true haiku:
Title should be haiku (rising from the sea).
Three lines on a short-long-short of 17 syllables or less which are all present in this piece.
The first two lines should be interconnected on a purely nature theme and provide a concrete image of a single moment in time - I think this passes even though gerunds (words ending in ing) are usually a no-no.
There is no kigo (seasonal reference) which is a huge flaw in this form.
Line three should contain a satori and while I think your AHA a clever play on words it just seems like it reads more like a statement.
Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Elements of true haiku:
Title should be haiku (rising from the sea).
Three lines on a short-long-short of 17 syllables or less which are all present in this piece.
The first two lines should be interconnected on a purely nature theme and provide a concrete image of a single moment in time - I think this passes even though gerunds (words ending in ing) are usually a no-no.
There is no kigo (seasonal reference) which is a huge flaw in this form.
Line three should contain a satori and while I think your AHA a clever play on words it just seems like it reads more like a statement.
Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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I quest this is more of a ?lowku?.
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. I like your pun of the "centaur of attention!" I am not sure that you have any kigo (seasonal reference) and maybe the "horse and man" works as a satori but am not sure.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Lol. I like your pun of the "centaur of attention!" I am not sure that you have any kigo (seasonal reference) and maybe the "horse and man" works as a satori but am not sure.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Didn?t see any restrictions to nature here, which I know should probably be automatic, but people win with some irregular stuff. Not that this will win, since I?m not mentioning kittens, flowers, or yellow weeds. :)
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☺ Lol.
