St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "St. Louis Chapter 14 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
16 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Okay, why didn't Mitch pick up on Sidney's name? There can't be too many of them around. I'm really suspicious now. I hope Mitch isn't in on it as well, that would be awful. Perhaps I'm making mountains out of mole-hills, but.... This is another excellent chapter, Barbara, sorry I'm so late, I'm stuffed up with the flu. :( Well done, my friend. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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Okay, why didn't Mitch pick up on Sidney's name? There can't be too many of them around. I'm really suspicious now. I hope Mitch isn't in on it as well, that would be awful. Perhaps I'm making mountains out of mole-hills, but.... This is another excellent chapter, Barbara, sorry I'm so late, I'm stuffed up with the flu. :( Well done, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment Written 02-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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I answered this and I have no clue why it didn't save. GRRRRR, thank you.
Comment from Sylvia Page
Now the story seems to be getting somewhere. With a romantic attraction building up on one end and Sydney turning out to be a cop, a coverup seems to be getting more and more certain. Great work,
Sylvia
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Now the story seems to be getting somewhere. With a romantic attraction building up on one end and Sydney turning out to be a cop, a coverup seems to be getting more and more certain. Great work,
Sylvia
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello again Barbara. I think I am finally caught up with the story. I can tell things are about to get real interesting. There is nothing worse than a dirty cop. It will be interesting to see how they approach this situation. Good job!
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Hello again Barbara. I think I am finally caught up with the story. I can tell things are about to get real interesting. There is nothing worse than a dirty cop. It will be interesting to see how they approach this situation. Good job!
Comment Written 01-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2019
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from judiverse
Very interesting. So far Mac hasn't had much luck coming up with leads in the murder of Logan's sister. Mac believes there might be a cover up. Mac has information about a Donny (last name not known) but that doesn't pan out. Mac still doesn't know who's behind the attacks on her. Very interesting that Mac discovered that Megan had an appointment with a Sidney. Then it turns out there's a Sidney Parks in the police department. Maybe there is a coverup. Great development in this. judi
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Very interesting. So far Mac hasn't had much luck coming up with leads in the murder of Logan's sister. Mac believes there might be a cover up. Mac has information about a Donny (last name not known) but that doesn't pan out. Mac still doesn't know who's behind the attacks on her. Very interesting that Mac discovered that Megan had an appointment with a Sidney. Then it turns out there's a Sidney Parks in the police department. Maybe there is a coverup. Great development in this. judi
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the kind review. There just might be a cover-up but why???
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You're very welcome. Maybe Sidney was somehow involved in the Megan's murder? judi
Comment from Ben Colder
Now we are getting into the meat. Speaking of meat, I have Turkey S. as well. Like the stuff. Keep it rolling Barb. Been away to the lake not much of a system up there.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Now we are getting into the meat. Speaking of meat, I have Turkey S. as well. Like the stuff. Keep it rolling Barb. Been away to the lake not much of a system up there.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thank you for your support.
Comment from SLMorrical
I haven't been on here in awhile because of my situation, Now that I am staying with a friend and have the intranet back I will be on here more often. I just love reading your work, and I like how your story is coming along. I can feel the sexual tension between Max and Logan. I love how you leave a cliff hanger at the end of every post. Keep up the good work it is turning into a wonderful story for a book.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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I haven't been on here in awhile because of my situation, Now that I am staying with a friend and have the intranet back I will be on here more often. I just love reading your work, and I like how your story is coming along. I can feel the sexual tension between Max and Logan. I love how you leave a cliff hanger at the end of every post. Keep up the good work it is turning into a wonderful story for a book.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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I am so glad you're back. I missed you.
Comment from Nowhereman1
Interesting story very well written. Interesting characters and story so far. This chapter made me want to go back and read the story from the beginning
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Interesting story very well written. Interesting characters and story so far. This chapter made me want to go back and read the story from the beginning
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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ThanThank .iewyou for the kind rev
Comment from Iza Deleanu
I think you plot is coming up amazing. I really liked this part, which made me think about a P.I movie :"She explained the inconsistencies in Megan Nelson's murder, the lack of information, and the elusive autopsy report. "Jose Lopez went undercover to check out George Whitney as a suspect. We're almost positive he had nothing to do with her murder. It seems he was arrested for drunk and disorderly. We need to know at what time. I've also discovered they weren't even dating any longer and hadn't been for over a month."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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I think you plot is coming up amazing. I really liked this part, which made me think about a P.I movie :"She explained the inconsistencies in Megan Nelson's murder, the lack of information, and the elusive autopsy report. "Jose Lopez went undercover to check out George Whitney as a suspect. We're almost positive he had nothing to do with her murder. It seems he was arrested for drunk and disorderly. We need to know at what time. I've also discovered they weren't even dating any longer and hadn't been for over a month."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is great writing. It feels like it is very nearly professionally done and ready to publish. I only noticed one thing I would change, when McKenzie says, "I got some information that Megan was dating a guy called, 'Donny'." I think I would just say "I got some information that Megan was dating a guy called Donny." It isn't his name that they are unsure of, just that McKenzie didn't know who Donny was. In the rest of it, everything flows great.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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This is great writing. It feels like it is very nearly professionally done and ready to publish. I only noticed one thing I would change, when McKenzie says, "I got some information that Megan was dating a guy called, 'Donny'." I think I would just say "I got some information that Megan was dating a guy called Donny." It isn't his name that they are unsure of, just that McKenzie didn't know who Donny was. In the rest of it, everything flows great.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Bill Pinder
I like your writing style in this chapter about an investigation of a murder that looks like a tie-in with the police department and a cover up. It is also an interesting twist to include a budding romance. Thanks for sharing! Bill
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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I like your writing style in this chapter about an investigation of a murder that looks like a tie-in with the police department and a cover up. It is also an interesting twist to include a budding romance. Thanks for sharing! Bill
Comment Written 29-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
