"Beautiful!"
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Six Crushed Bottles and a Cap"Poetry at it's finest.
4 total reviews
Comment from country ranch writer
Looks like they were a bunch of boozer! Sorry couldn't help my self!! II think you did a great job given them like and making them sound real. Good job..
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2019
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Looks like they were a bunch of boozer! Sorry couldn't help my self!! II think you did a great job given them like and making them sound real. Good job..
Comment Written 26-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2019
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Thanks country writer.
the trick was to turn the inanimate objects all hated em as I rode my bicycle accounted to bottles plastic bottles I should say into something real.
of course what I don't tell my reviewer's is it could be continuation as they would fall vile for the cap now the cap has no bottom to be placed on?
Doctor Ricky 102
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Ricky1024
I say you have a great thing going about the crushed bottles of booze. I say, Yes continue and tell us happened to the rest of the run over bottles.
Gert
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Hello Ricky1024
I say you have a great thing going about the crushed bottles of booze. I say, Yes continue and tell us happened to the rest of the run over bottles.
Gert
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thanks Gert and it's completed now.
Ricky
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You are welcome Ricky.
I will be waiting for your next post.
Gert
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a rather dark story, my friend. It is well penned and progresses in a logical and fluid manner making for an easy read. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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This is a rather dark story, my friend. It is well penned and progresses in a logical and fluid manner making for an easy read. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thanks Mystic Angel and it's complicated now.
Ricky
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is a clever piece of writing. I like how you develop it. Excellent!
{big SMILES}.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
On the return trip, I did an actual count and I actually counted eight plus? -- If this was mine I'd nix one of "actual"/"actually". Repetition in close proximity is usually best avoided.
Again thats where Our Story...
"Begins? -- Since "that's" is a contraction, it requires an apostrophe.
I realized the death of these Poor, Plastic, Bottles of Booze -- This is a neat turn in the narrative. To progress from "crushed plastic bottles" to "death of these Poor, Plastic, Bottles of Booze" pulls on the reader's emotions {smiles}.
And, reading on, I can see why you made the progression. You're anthropomorphizing the bottles. That's a neat construction {smiles}.
After a bottle of Bud! -- And I love the last line: After a bottle of Bud!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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This is a clever piece of writing. I like how you develop it. Excellent!
{big SMILES}.
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
On the return trip, I did an actual count and I actually counted eight plus? -- If this was mine I'd nix one of "actual"/"actually". Repetition in close proximity is usually best avoided.
Again thats where Our Story...
"Begins? -- Since "that's" is a contraction, it requires an apostrophe.
I realized the death of these Poor, Plastic, Bottles of Booze -- This is a neat turn in the narrative. To progress from "crushed plastic bottles" to "death of these Poor, Plastic, Bottles of Booze" pulls on the reader's emotions {smiles}.
And, reading on, I can see why you made the progression. You're anthropomorphizing the bottles. That's a neat construction {smiles}.
After a bottle of Bud! -- And I love the last line: After a bottle of Bud!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thanks Alex and it's complicated now.
Doctor Ricky 1024