The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 87 "Abdul and the Pink Elephants"A Novel
31 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
playing with matches in a fireworks factory, - great comparison to Charles's predicament.
As always I enjoy the language you use Tony, always told with a dash of humour.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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playing with matches in a fireworks factory, - great comparison to Charles's predicament.
As always I enjoy the language you use Tony, always told with a dash of humour.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 22-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2019
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Thanks again, Valda. Glad you're still enjoying the humour!
Comment from Brett Matthew West
In the first paragraph, the MC has a bit of a pickle. He wants to quiz the man but the one with "half the police force in his pocket" appears complicating that situation.
Also in the first paragraph "should have liked to have" is a bit redundant. Perhaps omit the first "have" and re-word "would have liked to quiz the man" or something along those lines.
Noticed a bit of a run-on sentence in the first paragraph.
Having small bills in foreign currency does come in handy in that country. Also makes what happens there more authentic.
Seems "Jeanne" and the MC, although they need to be, may not in fact be on the same page.
"gear in the boot" is an obvious British English expression. It means trunk of the car. Hopefully, readers will follow that.
Does the ending lend that perhaps "Apricot" is to be kept at a certain distance from "Walnut" and the operation at hand? Many times women in countries such as Pakistan are treated as second class citizens and important matters are discussed only between males.
An interesting read, made more enjoyable by being written in British English.
Captures the setting well and lends to perhaps some of what occurs in the real world in that portion of the globe.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2019
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In the first paragraph, the MC has a bit of a pickle. He wants to quiz the man but the one with "half the police force in his pocket" appears complicating that situation.
Also in the first paragraph "should have liked to have" is a bit redundant. Perhaps omit the first "have" and re-word "would have liked to quiz the man" or something along those lines.
Noticed a bit of a run-on sentence in the first paragraph.
Having small bills in foreign currency does come in handy in that country. Also makes what happens there more authentic.
Seems "Jeanne" and the MC, although they need to be, may not in fact be on the same page.
"gear in the boot" is an obvious British English expression. It means trunk of the car. Hopefully, readers will follow that.
Does the ending lend that perhaps "Apricot" is to be kept at a certain distance from "Walnut" and the operation at hand? Many times women in countries such as Pakistan are treated as second class citizens and important matters are discussed only between males.
An interesting read, made more enjoyable by being written in British English.
Captures the setting well and lends to perhaps some of what occurs in the real world in that portion of the globe.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2019
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Very many thanks for taking the time to review this chapter, Brett. I appreciate your comments and have pared the first sentence. It certainly was a bit clunky!
Sorry to have taken so long to respond. I?m having a few personal challenges at present. My daughter is critically ill, having picked up a superbug following major surgery.
All good wishes, Tony
Comment from w.j.debi
You do a great job with your story of international intrigue. The characters have to adapt with short notice in order to blend into the background and yet be where they can do the most good.
The dialogue is one of your strong points and really brings the characters to life. Excellent job creating the setting and pulling the reader into the world Charles and Helen are navigating.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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You do a great job with your story of international intrigue. The characters have to adapt with short notice in order to blend into the background and yet be where they can do the most good.
The dialogue is one of your strong points and really brings the characters to life. Excellent job creating the setting and pulling the reader into the world Charles and Helen are navigating.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2019
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Very many thanks for taking the time to read this and leave a comment. Thanks, too, for the sixth star.
Comment from ML Archibald
I love this! The setting, the characters, the air of suspense that Fawcus can maintain even through the business of getting his main characters from one place to another.
When can I read the whole book?
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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I love this! The setting, the characters, the air of suspense that Fawcus can maintain even through the business of getting his main characters from one place to another.
When can I read the whole book?
Comment Written 27-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thank you for your review and kind remarks. Very much appreciated, as is the sixth star. All previous chapters of the book can be found in my portfolio. I?m hoping to complete the first draft before the end of the year. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Mastery
Hello my friend. sorry I have been away for a couple of weeks. computer and internet problems galore. But I am back at it and will try to make sense of where we are in your story.
Good text and path of characters and great dialogue, although I think your English is beginning to dominate as opposed to earlier in the tale. LOL
I liked this description: "It seemed we might soon be playing with matches in a fireworks factory,..."
And here: "she merely raised an eyebrow, as if she were a teacher dealing with two rather silly children."
Keep up the good work, Tony. : ) Bob
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Hello my friend. sorry I have been away for a couple of weeks. computer and internet problems galore. But I am back at it and will try to make sense of where we are in your story.
Good text and path of characters and great dialogue, although I think your English is beginning to dominate as opposed to earlier in the tale. LOL
I liked this description: "It seemed we might soon be playing with matches in a fireworks factory,..."
And here: "she merely raised an eyebrow, as if she were a teacher dealing with two rather silly children."
Keep up the good work, Tony. : ) Bob
Comment Written 26-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Good to see you back on line, Bob. Thanks for the review and kind remarks. All good wishes, Tony.
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: ) Bob
Comment from Pam (respa)
-This is a good chapter, Tony,
that moves the plot along well.
-Having thought that he was
going to be a travel writer, Charles
now finds out that he will be
trekking around the countryside.
-I thought the line about his writings
not having a great impact in this
area of the world was good.
-It does make sense that they
would move around more freely,
but they could also be more visible.
-I think it is coming down to
"who can you trust?"
-If I were Charles, I wouldn't
know which way to turn, but
I guess you go with the flow!
-Abdul seems like an intriguing
character, and who knows if he
is really who he says he is!
-Then, there's Ash. Apparently,
he will be Helen's problem!
-We can only wonder what the
High Commission expects from Charles!
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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-This is a good chapter, Tony,
that moves the plot along well.
-Having thought that he was
going to be a travel writer, Charles
now finds out that he will be
trekking around the countryside.
-I thought the line about his writings
not having a great impact in this
area of the world was good.
-It does make sense that they
would move around more freely,
but they could also be more visible.
-I think it is coming down to
"who can you trust?"
-If I were Charles, I wouldn't
know which way to turn, but
I guess you go with the flow!
-Abdul seems like an intriguing
character, and who knows if he
is really who he says he is!
-Then, there's Ash. Apparently,
he will be Helen's problem!
-We can only wonder what the
High Commission expects from Charles!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Pam. I appreciate your comments and the sixth star. Anna was discharged from hospital this afternoon. Rather too early, I suspect. We?re up here for a couple more days, flying back on Wednesday, so I should have more time to catch up with things.
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You are very welcome and deserving, Tony. I don't think they want people in the hospital long, these days. Hope she is doing well, and have a good trip home.
Comment from Bill Pinder
Interesting chapter about the mission to kill a terrorist. I like the name you came up with for the commissioner. Sounds like some secrecy is waiting in the meeting with him. Carry on!
Bill
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Interesting chapter about the mission to kill a terrorist. I like the name you came up with for the commissioner. Sounds like some secrecy is waiting in the meeting with him. Carry on!
Bill
Comment Written 26-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Bill. I appreciate your review and comments. Kind of you to drop by. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from marion
Hi there
I haven't followed your story, but I enjoyed reading with the thought of studying the writing. I couldn't find a fault so that says a lot! I found the ending enjoyable - it left a smile. Well written. It's a pleasure to read good writing on this site.
Marion
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Hi there
I haven't followed your story, but I enjoyed reading with the thought of studying the writing. I couldn't find a fault so that says a lot! I found the ending enjoyable - it left a smile. Well written. It's a pleasure to read good writing on this site.
Marion
Comment Written 24-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Many thanks for your kind comments, Marion. Much appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
This chapter is well done and reads more smoothly than the previous one.
A nice bit of humor with Apricot to relieve some of the tension of the situation.
So, we're off on a mountain trek, ice picks and all. I hope Charles is in good shape, that mountain air can take its toll.
For once, Charles is going to know some things the Helen is not privy to. (a good switch of roles)
As we are inch closer and closer to The Lion, though, I think Helen will be the "mane" attraction.
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Hello Tony,
This chapter is well done and reads more smoothly than the previous one.
A nice bit of humor with Apricot to relieve some of the tension of the situation.
So, we're off on a mountain trek, ice picks and all. I hope Charles is in good shape, that mountain air can take its toll.
For once, Charles is going to know some things the Helen is not privy to. (a good switch of roles)
As we are inch closer and closer to The Lion, though, I think Helen will be the "mane" attraction.
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 24-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Robert. I appreciate your review and the sixth star. I suspect you may be right. Fair damsels rarely do well in lions? cages.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. It seems that everything that happens it go wrong us somehow pre-planned and everyone just have to play along.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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A very well-written chapter. It seems that everything that happens it go wrong us somehow pre-planned and everyone just have to play along.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Many thanks for your review and comments, Sandra. Appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
