Once Upon a Time
We learn early what the true meaning of friendship is...19 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Awe, this is just too sweet. I liked it a lot and you've written it so very well endearing that little girl to me. Its a great entry and i wish you the best of luck. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2019
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Awe, this is just too sweet. I liked it a lot and you've written it so very well endearing that little girl to me. Its a great entry and i wish you the best of luck. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2019
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I am so very glad you enjoyed, Ulla -- wrote this on a bit of a 'lark' and it was fun! ;) Maybe I'll give it another try some time.... we'll see! ;) Take care out there and thank you for stopping by! :) Yvette
Comment from pbomar1115
I loved this beautiful story of kindness. Only people with love in their heart toward the mistreated people can understand this kind of story. It's strange how some people can be heartless toward the weak.
Phillip
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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I loved this beautiful story of kindness. Only people with love in their heart toward the mistreated people can understand this kind of story. It's strange how some people can be heartless toward the weak.
Phillip
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2019
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Thanx so much for your review -- much appreciated!! ;) ;)
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You're welcome.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Ahh, Mom to the rescue (as well she should be -- the little princess is a little angel). I especially loved the description of the bully, Dale, standing over the nervous TJ. You have obviously met these characters at some point.:))
Sweet story!
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2019
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Ahh, Mom to the rescue (as well she should be -- the little princess is a little angel). I especially loved the description of the bully, Dale, standing over the nervous TJ. You have obviously met these characters at some point.:))
Sweet story!
Comment Written 21-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2019
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Actually, no, this was a 'lark' for me just to give it a try.... reviews were mixed, but it was fun! ;) :) Thanx for your fun review! ;) Yvette
Comment from Scarbrems
First, let me say I did enjoy this. It's a lovely story, really charming with a positive message that friendship is a wonderful thing, no matter if the other person has a twisted leg, or doesn't speak so well. sounds like these two found each other t be kindred spirits.
The only problem I have, and it is only an opinion, is that though I guessed the reasons for the misspellings, etc, this is a difficult thing to do, as an adult, writing as a child. She can't spell 'manager' but can spell 'gibberish' and 'obviously'? It reads like a child wrote it in places - 'sparkly ink', 'Dad's kingly voice', but having read many a child's story, it would take some prodigy to be this accomplished at eight.
I think it might be better to go for the adult telling the story as a memory, then you'd still get the childlike feel without the slight awkwardness of 'obviously an adult trying to write as child'. I just feel it doesn't quite work from that perspective, but love it just the same.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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First, let me say I did enjoy this. It's a lovely story, really charming with a positive message that friendship is a wonderful thing, no matter if the other person has a twisted leg, or doesn't speak so well. sounds like these two found each other t be kindred spirits.
The only problem I have, and it is only an opinion, is that though I guessed the reasons for the misspellings, etc, this is a difficult thing to do, as an adult, writing as a child. She can't spell 'manager' but can spell 'gibberish' and 'obviously'? It reads like a child wrote it in places - 'sparkly ink', 'Dad's kingly voice', but having read many a child's story, it would take some prodigy to be this accomplished at eight.
I think it might be better to go for the adult telling the story as a memory, then you'd still get the childlike feel without the slight awkwardness of 'obviously an adult trying to write as child'. I just feel it doesn't quite work from that perspective, but love it just the same.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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Thanx for your review and suggestions, Emma -- much appreciated. Have a great weekend! ;)
Comment from JudyE
I can hear the eight-year-old speaking these long words. What a pity she used sparkling ink! But there is a happy ending which is great. Always good to have a happy ending. Cheers. Judy
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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I can hear the eight-year-old speaking these long words. What a pity she used sparkling ink! But there is a happy ending which is great. Always good to have a happy ending. Cheers. Judy
Comment Written 20-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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Princess Joelle sends you her gratitude, my lady, and so do I!! ;) :) Yvette
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You seemed to have entered a child's heart here for this write and know how it feels to be learning for the first time in life that we can't always have our own way, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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You seemed to have entered a child's heart here for this write and know how it feels to be learning for the first time in life that we can't always have our own way, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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Thanx so much, Dolly -- it was fun trying out a new perspective....glad you enjoyed! :) ;)
Comment from Sallyo
This is absolutely wonderfully gloriously royally good. You've got a book - maybe a series - waiting to happen here. Or maybe it's already happening? The back story's there, the characters are there. Go on... get on with it. Spit-Spot!
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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This is absolutely wonderfully gloriously royally good. You've got a book - maybe a series - waiting to happen here. Or maybe it's already happening? The back story's there, the characters are there. Go on... get on with it. Spit-Spot!
Comment Written 19-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2019
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Oh, I'm so very glad you enjoyed this, SallyO -- I've not written from a child's point of view before so this was a bit of a 'try it out' for me... thank you for your encouragement as it really means a lot!! And thank you, also, for those lovely stars, my dear lady! ;) Princess Joelle sends her gratitude as well!! ;) :) Take care this weekend! ;) Yvette
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I think you have a natural aptitude for this area. The great point about your princess is that, okay, she's a child, but she's a strongly opinionated person. She thinks and she directs and she has an upbeat personality. She's one of the most clearly defined child characters I've met lately and believe me, I meet a lot in my day job.
Comment from sunnilicious
Great short story. Nice verbiage for youngsters. Good narration mixed with dialogue. Well thought out and clearly written as it was creative. Nice work. Good luck in the contest :)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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Great short story. Nice verbiage for youngsters. Good narration mixed with dialogue. Well thought out and clearly written as it was creative. Nice work. Good luck in the contest :)
Comment Written 19-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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Princess Joelle sends her gratitude (and so do I)!! ;) :) Much appreciated!! ;) Yvette
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
This is really cute and very funny. I like the spunk and fortitude of the lass. It's no surprise to me that the spunky lass with the crippled leg is great friends with TJ the stutterer. I like the storyline and how well you've brought it forth. I enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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This is really cute and very funny. I like the spunk and fortitude of the lass. It's no surprise to me that the spunky lass with the crippled leg is great friends with TJ the stutterer. I like the storyline and how well you've brought it forth. I enjoyed reading this well written work. Well done!
Comment Written 19-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2019
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Princess Joelle sends her gratitude, Jeffrey, and so do I! Thank you for your review!
Comment from shaffer40
This is a touching story about the value of every person, despite so-called imperfections and disabilities as well as value of friendship. It also says something about the way animals can provide nonjudgmental relationships and fuel self-esteem.
I noticed a couple little things:
who's being assigned her school chapterone,
I think you meant "chaperone."
the old horse Dad says I can ride with supersvisions.
I think you meant "supervision."
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2019
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This is a touching story about the value of every person, despite so-called imperfections and disabilities as well as value of friendship. It also says something about the way animals can provide nonjudgmental relationships and fuel self-esteem.
I noticed a couple little things:
who's being assigned her school chapterone,
I think you meant "chaperone."
the old horse Dad says I can ride with supersvisions.
I think you meant "supervision."
Comment Written 18-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2019
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Please read the author notes...those are intentional. Thank you for your review.
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Oh, sorry. I did wonder if it might be deliberate, hence my "I think" at the start of my sentences. I'll go back and look at the notes.
