Eternity with some Beats
Kyrielle ~ from European Forms class22 total reviews
Comment from poetwatch
Thank you Melissa. I'm glad you like the beat of the music. :) This Kyrielle is very much like our own poetry with the exception of the repeated line or as I read repeated word, as well as with different rhyme. Will try at least one. Thank you for sharing. I have a Villanelle posted at this time, don't know if it is right or not. Tell me. :)
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2019
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Thank you Melissa. I'm glad you like the beat of the music. :) This Kyrielle is very much like our own poetry with the exception of the repeated line or as I read repeated word, as well as with different rhyme. Will try at least one. Thank you for sharing. I have a Villanelle posted at this time, don't know if it is right or not. Tell me. :)
Comment Written 12-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2019
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Hi Jose. I will dash over and look at your Villanelle. Those are complicated and intimidate me. Thanks for the lovely review.
Melissa
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
I'm no rapper, but I like the poem anyway. Now if it were heavy metal, no problem. I'm into Skillet big time. This is a fun poem and one with a great message. Jesus is really all we need to hold on to.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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I'm no rapper, but I like the poem anyway. Now if it were heavy metal, no problem. I'm into Skillet big time. This is a fun poem and one with a great message. Jesus is really all we need to hold on to.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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Thank you, Rox. Yes, it is all about Jesus. Thanks for the lovely comments.
Melissa
Comment from Gloria ....
I love rap! 50 Cent or Fifty was my favourite for a few years and this is awesome, Melissa. Man oh man that Jim teacher of yours sure is a tough taskmaster. LOL
Good news is, I am reading some terrific Kyrielles and am looking forward to the sonnets.
Great job with this. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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I love rap! 50 Cent or Fifty was my favourite for a few years and this is awesome, Melissa. Man oh man that Jim teacher of yours sure is a tough taskmaster. LOL
Good news is, I am reading some terrific Kyrielles and am looking forward to the sonnets.
Great job with this. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 12-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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Hello Gloria. Thanks for the review on the rapping kyrielle. It is a little out of the box for me, but I had to write a religious one and the liturgy was the other option... or so I thought. Haha. Smiles to you today.
Melissa
Comment from kahpot
This has a wonderful beat to it as it flows and rhymes excellently, these words would make for a great song with the right music, very well written****kahpot
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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This has a wonderful beat to it as it flows and rhymes excellently, these words would make for a great song with the right music, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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Good morning, kah. Thanks so much for the wonderful review on this rapping kyrielle!!
Melissa
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I enjoyed your Kyrielle here Melissa, it is well thought out and the sentiment here is also poignant, I am looking forward to a Kyrielle Sonnet! Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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I enjoyed your Kyrielle here Melissa, it is well thought out and the sentiment here is also poignant, I am looking forward to a Kyrielle Sonnet! Love Dolly x
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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I know you would and could write a beautiful Kyrielle Sonnet, Dolly. I will turn my mind to it tonight after this meeting I have to go to. I will be thinking about how you would handle it... o queen of sonnets... :). Thanks!
Melissa
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Thank you and I will consider writing one! Love Dolly x
Comment from judiverse
I like your repeated line, "What's this about eternity?" The change in the last stanza, "I'm gettin' this eternity" shows that an impression has been made. The rapper at first seems to think that anything having to do with eternity is all new to him. He begins to think about who is Jesus Christ and what does sin have to do with him. Then he gets the message from God that Jesus has freed him from sin. Excellent work and presentation of the rapper's feelings as his attitude changes. judi
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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I like your repeated line, "What's this about eternity?" The change in the last stanza, "I'm gettin' this eternity" shows that an impression has been made. The rapper at first seems to think that anything having to do with eternity is all new to him. He begins to think about who is Jesus Christ and what does sin have to do with him. Then he gets the message from God that Jesus has freed him from sin. Excellent work and presentation of the rapper's feelings as his attitude changes. judi
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Hello, Judi. This kyrielle lent itself easily to the rap beat. Rap music is not a fave with me, but worked well here. I appreciate your thoughts on this one.
Melissa
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You're welcome. Like it or not, rap music was a great way to get your point across. judi
Comment from Gail Denham
Quite a challenge you have taken on. I like this one for sure - since I too am glad to have eternity - altho I sure do not care for rap. It makes me nervous actually.
Good job.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Quite a challenge you have taken on. I like this one for sure - since I too am glad to have eternity - altho I sure do not care for rap. It makes me nervous actually.
Good job.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Hi Gail. I am not fond of rap music either, but this assignment for a religious kyrielle lended itself to those 8 beat lines. I am glad you liked it anyway.
Melissa
Comment from Mistydawn
This is a well-written poem. It has a great flow, rhymes well. I can see how this could be put to rap music. Rap crap is how I refer to it. In all fairness, not all of it's bad. I love your message behind it. Great job.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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This is a well-written poem. It has a great flow, rhymes well. I can see how this could be put to rap music. Rap crap is how I refer to it. In all fairness, not all of it's bad. I love your message behind it. Great job.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Hi Misty. I am not too fond of rap music, but think it was a good fit for this religious kyrielle... the mandatory use of eight beats/syllables lends itself to a rap. Thanks so much!!
Melissa
Comment from Mark Valentine
The title reeled me in - very cool - as is your repeated "what's this about eternity?" line. I also like the sense of the unrelenting message never quite leaving you alone - even believers need to be reminded. The class sounds fun.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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The title reeled me in - very cool - as is your repeated "what's this about eternity?" line. I also like the sense of the unrelenting message never quite leaving you alone - even believers need to be reminded. The class sounds fun.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Thank you, Mark. This rapping beat was easy to employ with this kyrielle form. According to Jim, this form was first used in the church in the 1300s in the liturgies. That is why he had us write a religious one... since our church is more relaxed, and I am unfamiliar with liturgies, well... a Christian rap for me. LOL
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Kyrielle about the rapper that learns more about Jesus Christ through his music than many Christians learn in their lives. Never judge a book by its cover.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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A very well-written Kyrielle about the rapper that learns more about Jesus Christ through his music than many Christians learn in their lives. Never judge a book by its cover.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Hi Sandra, so true. I am glad there is Christian rap that can reach today?s modern world with the gospel. Thanks.
Melissa
