Goodbye my love
A very sad day10 total reviews
Comment from Rikki66
The boy loves his mother that is to be expected, had he taken his wife or another girl that would have been unexpected. ))))))))))))))))))))))))
Rikki LXVI
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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The boy loves his mother that is to be expected, had he taken his wife or another girl that would have been unexpected. ))))))))))))))))))))))))
Rikki LXVI
Comment Written 12-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019
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Thanks for reading
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You are most welcome.
rikki lxvi
Comment from Sugarray77
This is very good, Jen. It is definitely a short write that will stir up the savages that will yell... why does she wait? why is she going to miss him? he will not find here there when he gets back! all of those and more. Consider my three moments part of the rant!! I would not be waiting!
Melissa
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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This is very good, Jen. It is definitely a short write that will stir up the savages that will yell... why does she wait? why is she going to miss him? he will not find here there when he gets back! all of those and more. Consider my three moments part of the rant!! I would not be waiting!
Melissa
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Thanks a lot Melissa. Jen.
Comment from kahpot
Well whoever he is I don't like him much-poor Molly-unless, as a good Flash Fiction should, leave us with many unanswered questions, very well written and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Well whoever he is I don't like him much-poor Molly-unless, as a good Flash Fiction should, leave us with many unanswered questions, very well written and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 11-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Thanks a lot for your continued support. Jen.
Comment from Aussie
Good luck in the contest. You really got the reader with the taking of his mother instead of her. Firstly, I thought this was going to be a soldier off to war. You have written well with a twist at the end. Well done friend.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Good luck in the contest. You really got the reader with the taking of his mother instead of her. Firstly, I thought this was going to be a soldier off to war. You have written well with a twist at the end. Well done friend.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Great you got it. Some didn't. Thanks so much
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Jen. Oh this is great. Humorous. What a good boy taking his mother on the cruise. I enjoyed reading this little story. Best of luck in the contest with this fun write. Marilyn
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Hi Jen. Oh this is great. Humorous. What a good boy taking his mother on the cruise. I enjoyed reading this little story. Best of luck in the contest with this fun write. Marilyn
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Many thanks Marilyn
Comment from RodG
I like how this begins almost like an old Harlequin Romance, and then that surprise ironical ending. We can easily visualize Molly weeping her eyes out as the ship disappears from sight. Rod
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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I like how this begins almost like an old Harlequin Romance, and then that surprise ironical ending. We can easily visualize Molly weeping her eyes out as the ship disappears from sight. Rod
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Great. You got it. Some didn't. Thanks Rod
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Honey, forget the tears!! In two weeks, you could have a great divorce decree written up ..... or you could sell all his stuff and buy a new life! ;) :) LOL! A very surprising offering for the contest, Jen -- think you probably caught most of us by surprise -- great job! ;) :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck! ;)
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Honey, forget the tears!! In two weeks, you could have a great divorce decree written up ..... or you could sell all his stuff and buy a new life! ;) :) LOL! A very surprising offering for the contest, Jen -- think you probably caught most of us by surprise -- great job! ;) :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck! ;)
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Tha ks Yvette for the great review.
Comment from Sallyo
Awwww... diddums. She can take it two ways; the boy loves his mother or the boy is scared of his mother. Either way, he'll put others before her. If she's his wife, this is a bad sign. If she's his girlfriend, tough. Since she's making so much fuss she'd better find a motherless man.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Awwww... diddums. She can take it two ways; the boy loves his mother or the boy is scared of his mother. Either way, he'll put others before her. If she's his wife, this is a bad sign. If she's his girlfriend, tough. Since she's making so much fuss she'd better find a motherless man.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2019
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Many thanks.
Comment from lyenochka
Oh no! I guess he's not coming back, nor his mother if this occurred recently. Good reference to current events to weave into your flash fiction which lets the reader make the connections.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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Oh no! I guess he's not coming back, nor his mother if this occurred recently. Good reference to current events to weave into your flash fiction which lets the reader make the connections.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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Thanks Helen.
Comment from Alex Rosel
This is a nice gentle flash fiction piece with a poignant ending. I enjoyed reading it {smiles}.
Here is a point you might like to consider:
she thought back to the day that the letter arrived -- Personally, I'm always looking to omit the word that whenever I can. The reason for this is because unnecessary words tend to detract from the pace of the prose. So, if removing the word that from a sentence doesn't change its meaning, then I will delete it. Such is the case here. The snappier result has the same meaning: she thought back to the day the letter arrived. (And I realize that changes you word count.)
Good luck with the competition {smiles}.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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This is a nice gentle flash fiction piece with a poignant ending. I enjoyed reading it {smiles}.
Here is a point you might like to consider:
she thought back to the day that the letter arrived -- Personally, I'm always looking to omit the word that whenever I can. The reason for this is because unnecessary words tend to detract from the pace of the prose. So, if removing the word that from a sentence doesn't change its meaning, then I will delete it. Such is the case here. The snappier result has the same meaning: she thought back to the day the letter arrived. (And I realize that changes you word count.)
Good luck with the competition {smiles}.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019
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Thanks Alex for your input. Jen.
