Comment from Diana L Crawford

Excellent

This is a terrific fantasy comedy/tragedy! I love it! Such an imagination you have! you covered all the words required with this piece and managed to create gory along with the humor! great job! :) xoxoxoxoxo

 Comment Written 11-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2019

Thanks so much for your review, Diana. I am about to disappear into a very remote part of NZ for a few days - I hope there aren't any dragons lurking!

reply by Diana L Crawford on 12-Sep-2019

haha!! please come back or you know what i'll do!! LoL! xoxoxox

Comment from Alex Rosel

Excellent

This is an entertaining read. A couple of snippets amused me. Also, I particularly like the way you've slipped the word "President" into the prose; I'm guessing most people will assign this word to a Head of State.

Here are a few points you might like to consider:

I have finished my massage and am feeling soothed by a glass of warm milk -- Since you're using the first-person narrator, it's implicit that everything seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted is seen, heard, felt, smelled, and tasted by the narrator. Therefore your use of "feeling" is telling the reader what they already know, and that's usually best avoided. I'd write, I have finished my massage and am soothed by a glass of warm milk; don't worry, the reader will understand that's what you're feeling.

In a 'well-hung' exhibition, -- Oh, I do like your adjective here. I find it adds a touch of humor {smiles}.

The paragraph starting "When the catering crew a" doesn't quite work for me. It's all a bit too telling. Also, since this is a first-person narration, it's sort of a disjoint because the focus switches to the catering crew rather than the firsthand experiences of the narrator.

After Brenda recovered (and we had placed her dragon in a maximum security cage) -- Ha, ha {smiles}.

Be nice to everyone - you never know what might come back to bite you! -- This is a good sign-off for the story {smiles}.

Good luck with the competition {smiles}.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019

Thanks for your helpful review, Alex. I have made a couple of modifications as I could see the sense of your suggestions.

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

This contest is one of the hardest I have seen so far, since I joined Fanstory. You did your best with the required elements. Good luck with your writing and the contest.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019

Thanks for your review and good wishes. I think the subject must be too hard, because no one else is entering it.

reply by Iza Deleanu on 10-Sep-2019

I know

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

This is a well-crafted case of revival (or reincarnation) that holds the reader's attention with no problem. The only thing I would change would be to say that the dragon had made some progress in abilities to breathe fire, even if it still had a way to go before achieving the skill completely.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019

Thanks for your review, Katherine. Following your comment, I modified a sentence slightly.

Comment from Anntonette

Excellent

I love the thrill of this one!
There isn't much dialogue like many stories I read on fanstory, but that's okay!
I like the theme at the end of it, thank you for that!
- Anntonette J

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2019

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2019

Thanks for reviewing my story and sharing your positive comments.
There is no dialogue because it is a tale being told in the first person by the president of the art society, recounting her experiences.