Monica
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Monica Chapter 8"A woman becomes fixated on Rob
13 total reviews
Comment from Darlene BoClair
As I continue to ead your story I am happy to read more visual effects like the dinner meal at the diner and at Monica's home. There is no way no one say Monica in the dark, yet not realizing what she was doing. Blue Sky is going to be a busy place as they search for the killer. I am waiting to read what happens next.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2019
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As I continue to ead your story I am happy to read more visual effects like the dinner meal at the diner and at Monica's home. There is no way no one say Monica in the dark, yet not realizing what she was doing. Blue Sky is going to be a busy place as they search for the killer. I am waiting to read what happens next.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much dear. Rox
Comment from lyenochka
Well, your Monica character is quite scary! And she doesn't have a clue about what is important to Rob and what he values obviously. Enjoyed the humor with the dialogue with the doc who's immune to all the stomach contents he sees in his job.
Minor comments:
"forgettingĂ? her tennis shoes, she put them in at the last minute, pushingĂ?" (funny characters to remove)
Thanks Doc. " (Thanks, Doc.)
"So who has jurisdiction? Boseman?" (Bozeman) if you mean the city in Montana
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Well, your Monica character is quite scary! And she doesn't have a clue about what is important to Rob and what he values obviously. Enjoyed the humor with the dialogue with the doc who's immune to all the stomach contents he sees in his job.
Minor comments:
"forgettingĂ? her tennis shoes, she put them in at the last minute, pushingĂ?" (funny characters to remove)
Thanks Doc. " (Thanks, Doc.)
"So who has jurisdiction? Boseman?" (Bozeman) if you mean the city in Montana
Comment Written 27-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Those stupid little characters!! I didn't notice the ones in that part, sorry. I meant to check that spelling and forgot. Thank you for the helps and great review. Rox
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I know! Those characters are so annoying. I usually don't have problems in the body of the post but always in the Notes section. We all understand because it happens to all of us.
Comment from JudyE
I hate to think what Monica's plans are going to entail. The story moves along nicely and the dialogue is very authentic.
A few comments:
"Thanks, Doc, for the critic of Ed's. - spelling - critique
I'm hungry," Martin said as they left the autopsy room, and the smell of disinfectant behind. - comma after 'disinfectant'
"I'll get your order in, it should be right up." - period after 'in'
"So who has jurisdiction, Boseman?" - I think this should be two sentences. - Question mark after 'jurisdiction'
Monica switch off the TV and poured herself a drink. She smiled to herself. - there are two 'herself's' close together here. I'd delete 'to herself' at the end.
Have a great day
Judy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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I hate to think what Monica's plans are going to entail. The story moves along nicely and the dialogue is very authentic.
A few comments:
"Thanks, Doc, for the critic of Ed's. - spelling - critique
I'm hungry," Martin said as they left the autopsy room, and the smell of disinfectant behind. - comma after 'disinfectant'
"I'll get your order in, it should be right up." - period after 'in'
"So who has jurisdiction, Boseman?" - I think this should be two sentences. - Question mark after 'jurisdiction'
Monica switch off the TV and poured herself a drink. She smiled to herself. - there are two 'herself's' close together here. I'd delete 'to herself' at the end.
Have a great day
Judy
Comment Written 27-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Thanks dear. I think I fixed everything. =} Rox
Comment from Diana L Crawford
Sorry, I had to catch up in Chap 7 & 8. So much information, so few clues! Monica truly thinks she has this under control. What could she have planned for poor Sarah! I can't wait to see how the party turns out! I hope Rob doesn't even show! That will set Monica on fire, maybe even exposing her! One can only hope! Haha!!!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Sorry, I had to catch up in Chap 7 & 8. So much information, so few clues! Monica truly thinks she has this under control. What could she have planned for poor Sarah! I can't wait to see how the party turns out! I hope Rob doesn't even show! That will set Monica on fire, maybe even exposing her! One can only hope! Haha!!!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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We shall see what happens. =} Thank you dear. Rox
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The waiting is the real killer! Haha!
Comment from royowen
Like most narcissists like Monica she has super confidence in everything about what she is. They have no understanding of humility at all, she has no doubt that Rob will drop Sarah like a hot cake when he discovers how "wonderful she is. But I think that her own confidence will be her downfall, well done Rox, great episode, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Like most narcissists like Monica she has super confidence in everything about what she is. They have no understanding of humility at all, she has no doubt that Rob will drop Sarah like a hot cake when he discovers how "wonderful she is. But I think that her own confidence will be her downfall, well done Rox, great episode, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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A narcissist always thinks they are wonderful and better than everyone else. I feel that way too, but I'm really nice about it. =} Thanks so much Sir. Rox
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Me too Rox, heh heh, don?t they appreciate us, like we appreciate ourselves, heh heh.
Comment from Sally Law
This was great and filled in the details of her narcissist personality and here step by step processes of cleaning up the murder scene. Great job here.
The stomach contents scene was humorous. I enjoyed it and it granted the reader some comic relief. ;+)
Small nits--
Maybe a neighbored party. This begs for more clarification or possibly a question to herself.
"A sacrifice" is joined with no space between.
Wonderful chapter, meaty and good. Can't wait to read about the upcoming party . . . .
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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This was great and filled in the details of her narcissist personality and here step by step processes of cleaning up the murder scene. Great job here.
The stomach contents scene was humorous. I enjoyed it and it granted the reader some comic relief. ;+)
Small nits--
Maybe a neighbored party. This begs for more clarification or possibly a question to herself.
"A sacrifice" is joined with no space between.
Wonderful chapter, meaty and good. Can't wait to read about the upcoming party . . . .
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Thank you, I added some about the dinner. Hopefully that helped it read better. Thanks so much dear. rox
Comment from nancy_e_davis
The very thought there might be people like Monica out there is indeed frightening. She has no hint of an idea what is right and what is wrong. She only focusses on what she wants and how to get it. Look out Sarah. We can only hope Monica has slipped up when she murdered Lonnie. Well done, Rox. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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The very thought there might be people like Monica out there is indeed frightening. She has no hint of an idea what is right and what is wrong. She only focusses on what she wants and how to get it. Look out Sarah. We can only hope Monica has slipped up when she murdered Lonnie. Well done, Rox. Nancy:)
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Yes, sadly and frighteningly there are many people like her. ={ Thanks so much dear. Rox
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Moving right along, as the police, including Sheriff Rob Mitchell, try to figure out who has killed Lonnie McGovern in the park, and it comes out that the bullet from the car fire and first murder (that the reader is privy to) was also retrieved. Meanwhile, Monica plots and plans. With the sentence for the critic of Ed's I think you mean the critique. Flows well!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Moving right along, as the police, including Sheriff Rob Mitchell, try to figure out who has killed Lonnie McGovern in the park, and it comes out that the bullet from the car fire and first murder (that the reader is privy to) was also retrieved. Meanwhile, Monica plots and plans. With the sentence for the critic of Ed's I think you mean the critique. Flows well!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much for the help and praise. Rox
Comment from robyn corum
Fox,
This lady is a piece of work. She will literally do anything and everything to get what she wants. And had no consciense of compunction about it. Wow. You're doing a great job.
One note:
1.) "Rough. How many family members (do) you have in law enforcement?
Thanks!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Fox,
This lady is a piece of work. She will literally do anything and everything to get what she wants. And had no consciense of compunction about it. Wow. You're doing a great job.
One note:
1.) "Rough. How many family members (do) you have in law enforcement?
Thanks!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Thank you dear, I fixed my boo boo. =} Rox
Comment from the13thpoet
Happy Monday Roxanna, I enjoyed the latest installment of your story. As much as I want to see Monica's crazy, serial killing a** put in jail, I can't help but to wonder what her next move is going to be. You keep me engaged and wanting more, Great Job!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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Happy Monday Roxanna, I enjoyed the latest installment of your story. As much as I want to see Monica's crazy, serial killing a** put in jail, I can't help but to wonder what her next move is going to be. You keep me engaged and wanting more, Great Job!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2019
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I'm very glad you are enjoying it. Thanks so much, Rox
