Witch Trial
They were warned9 total reviews
Comment from V McCrary
Great story. Kudos to you. Well-written with a quick pace and interesting plot that made me want to see it through to the end. Thanks for sharing & stay blessed. V
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Great story. Kudos to you. Well-written with a quick pace and interesting plot that made me want to see it through to the end. Thanks for sharing & stay blessed. V
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your review. I am glad you liked the story.
Comment from damommy
Pretty horrifying. Elizabeth kept her promise that they would burn if she did. I can't imagine a worse curse than to hear your child screaming and being unable to reach them.
- [too] many young boys.
- proclaimed with [witch]
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Pretty horrifying. Elizabeth kept her promise that they would burn if she did. I can't imagine a worse curse than to hear your child screaming and being unable to reach them.
- [too] many young boys.
- proclaimed with [witch]
Comment Written 15-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi
"We have allowed Elizabeth to take to[o] many ..."
"Biting and clawing at her ... " This sentence doesn't make sense and needs reconstruction.
"As the fire ... men and wom[e]n ..."
"Fire surrounded the mo[u]rning mother..."
A good entry with a few errors in grammar and spelling. Good luck.
xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Hi
"We have allowed Elizabeth to take to[o] many ..."
"Biting and clawing at her ... " This sentence doesn't make sense and needs reconstruction.
"As the fire ... men and wom[e]n ..."
"Fire surrounded the mo[u]rning mother..."
A good entry with a few errors in grammar and spelling. Good luck.
xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoyed it I will be sure to fix the problems.
Comment from Patty Palmer
Thought your story interesting, I've always enjoyed stories about Salem and the witch hunt. It makes for good writing material but it's terrible to know they really did hunt down c
"Keep right on writing!"
God bless!
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Thought your story interesting, I've always enjoyed stories about Salem and the witch hunt. It makes for good writing material but it's terrible to know they really did hunt down c
"Keep right on writing!"
God bless!
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your review. So glad you liked the story.
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You're welcome@
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness, I feel shocked by this write. Witchcraft years ago was blamed for all the things that went wrong and manny poor innocent women burned as a result, mob culture took over and the stupidity of their thought process harmed many poor people, I wish you luck with the contest, you certainly socked this story to me! Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Oh my goodness, I feel shocked by this write. Witchcraft years ago was blamed for all the things that went wrong and manny poor innocent women burned as a result, mob culture took over and the stupidity of their thought process harmed many poor people, I wish you luck with the contest, you certainly socked this story to me! Love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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I based the story on something I read about a town burning a witch and then days later there was a storm that took out the entire town. I added the fire.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Supernatural influence and wave continue beginning till end; destined happened, the witch turned to dust; nice taletelling, simple and convincing expression; well said, well done. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Supernatural influence and wave continue beginning till end; destined happened, the witch turned to dust; nice taletelling, simple and convincing expression; well said, well done. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Thank you. I am glad you liked it.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
The exciting idea of the eternal fight between Elisabeth and Mary. Or maybe not, it is just another example of a witch burned on a stick. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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The exciting idea of the eternal fight between Elisabeth and Mary. Or maybe not, it is just another example of a witch burned on a stick. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from kahpot
" Biting and clawing at her captors the proclaimed with struggled " should this be the proclaimed witch)-this has certainly got the supernatural theme and is quite intriguing, the build up and the eventual capture and passing of the witch is great, very well done and best wishes for your competition****kahpot
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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" Biting and clawing at her captors the proclaimed with struggled " should this be the proclaimed witch)-this has certainly got the supernatural theme and is quite intriguing, the build up and the eventual capture and passing of the witch is great, very well done and best wishes for your competition****kahpot
Comment Written 12-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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I am glad you liked it. I based it on something I read about a town that burned a woman who told them they would all die. A few days after her death there was a storm that took out the whole town,
Comment from Richard Jesel
Wonderfully fast paced. However some more detail should be added.
For instance:
Mary howled as she took her lifeless son in her arms, his blue/black/violet eyes staring sightless into the sky, his arms limp.
Also describe the witch burning stake a bit more. Example: surrounded by dried tinder and branches which was quickly assembled by (pick group here, young/old/mothers of lost childeren) as the larger group plucked the witch from her hovel, kicking and screaming.
Placement of actions and dialogue may need some adjustment.
For instance:
Rallying the crowd around him, Richard spoke with a stern conviction. "She is going to pay for this," the boy's father said.
Raising his arms, Richard stood above the crowd, enraged, pointing to the dilapidated house on the hill. "We have allowed Elizabeth to take to many young boys. Tonight it stops!"
Night slowly began to fall as the group lit their wooden torches, ready to climb the dark mountain pass.
Before long, the townspeople arrived, bursting through the witch Elizabeth's door, splintering it into pieces.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Wonderfully fast paced. However some more detail should be added.
For instance:
Mary howled as she took her lifeless son in her arms, his blue/black/violet eyes staring sightless into the sky, his arms limp.
Also describe the witch burning stake a bit more. Example: surrounded by dried tinder and branches which was quickly assembled by (pick group here, young/old/mothers of lost childeren) as the larger group plucked the witch from her hovel, kicking and screaming.
Placement of actions and dialogue may need some adjustment.
For instance:
Rallying the crowd around him, Richard spoke with a stern conviction. "She is going to pay for this," the boy's father said.
Raising his arms, Richard stood above the crowd, enraged, pointing to the dilapidated house on the hill. "We have allowed Elizabeth to take to many young boys. Tonight it stops!"
Night slowly began to fall as the group lit their wooden torches, ready to climb the dark mountain pass.
Before long, the townspeople arrived, bursting through the witch Elizabeth's door, splintering it into pieces.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Thank you for your review. I will be sure to address the problems you found. Thank you for pointing them out.
