Monica
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Monica Chapter 6"A woman becomes fixated on Rob
13 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Since a murder happens in the first third, this chapter is now making the reader crave cinnamon rolls. There is a thread of action with the normal police station, and then beginning to follow up on where Lonnie McGovern might be by the end of the chapter. Monica is the ultimate con artist, playing on Lonnie's physical attraction to her and then the sympathy card with the grandmother's scarf which wasn't-really-lost. She is remorseless. This, of course, makes Sarah's cinnamon rolls a good way to relieve tension for a half a minute. The bad news just follows that Miss Landers...
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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Since a murder happens in the first third, this chapter is now making the reader crave cinnamon rolls. There is a thread of action with the normal police station, and then beginning to follow up on where Lonnie McGovern might be by the end of the chapter. Monica is the ultimate con artist, playing on Lonnie's physical attraction to her and then the sympathy card with the grandmother's scarf which wasn't-really-lost. She is remorseless. This, of course, makes Sarah's cinnamon rolls a good way to relieve tension for a half a minute. The bad news just follows that Miss Landers...
Comment Written 17-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2019
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Yes she is a bit cuckoo. ={ I love cinnamon rolls but they don't love me. The cinnamon visits me all day. Bummer. Thank you dear.
Comment from the13thpoet
Let me start by saying, please don't let the black guy get killed by this crazy woman. LOL :) Things are really starting to heat up I can't wait to keep reading. My only disappointed is that I am almost caught up and will have to wait for another fix. A continued good job!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Let me start by saying, please don't let the black guy get killed by this crazy woman. LOL :) Things are really starting to heat up I can't wait to keep reading. My only disappointed is that I am almost caught up and will have to wait for another fix. A continued good job!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2019
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Okay, I promise not to kill him off. I never kill off law enforcement. Serial killers know it would bring too much attention to them. She is a crazy one, I think she is beginning to like killing a bit too much. I hope someone stops her soon. =} Thanks so much sir.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
A female serial killer, that is unique. Being methodological makes her more dangerous, a real sociopath. Sometimes, victims do not have a clue they are about to be waxed. Lonnie didn't. Well done.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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A female serial killer, that is unique. Being methodological makes her more dangerous, a real sociopath. Sometimes, victims do not have a clue they are about to be waxed. Lonnie didn't. Well done.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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You would think he would have a clue. Meeting her in the Park at night. Really, what did he think was going to happen? Lonnie was none to bright. =} Thanks so much sir.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
I knew it! LoL! Poor Lonnie! If only he would have had a clue! Good thing it didn't snow or his body could have been secreted for a while! Monica sure is a brave soul going on a killing spree like this. She has become a serial killer now with her "second" victim (or is it -hmmm...). It makes me wonder if there are a few murders already in her past since she seems to be so comfortable with taking a life. Thanks for posting this chapter so quickly!! Waiting patiently for next! xoxo
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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I knew it! LoL! Poor Lonnie! If only he would have had a clue! Good thing it didn't snow or his body could have been secreted for a while! Monica sure is a brave soul going on a killing spree like this. She has become a serial killer now with her "second" victim (or is it -hmmm...). It makes me wonder if there are a few murders already in her past since she seems to be so comfortable with taking a life. Thanks for posting this chapter so quickly!! Waiting patiently for next! xoxo
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Yes poor Lonnie, but the guy should have had a clue. How many times are you watching a show or movie and yell at the screen, "Don't go!" I'm always doing that, then I don't feel sorry for them when they are killed because I told them not to go. =] Thanks so much my dear.
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Blahaha! You are too funny!!!
Comment from robyn corum
Rox,
Lovely. Things are getting more tangled as we go. I like that. *smile* And I love this Monica character -- she is just the right amount of evil. hahaha Thanks!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Rox,
Lovely. Things are getting more tangled as we go. I like that. *smile* And I love this Monica character -- she is just the right amount of evil. hahaha Thanks!
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Thank you dear.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
She is not only cold blooded, but methodical when it came too committing the crime. She seems to have no remorse when she kills. She thinks of it as another obstacle removed that might keep her from achieving her goal. She's cold! Well done, Rox Nancy:)
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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She is not only cold blooded, but methodical when it came too committing the crime. She seems to have no remorse when she kills. She thinks of it as another obstacle removed that might keep her from achieving her goal. She's cold! Well done, Rox Nancy:)
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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She is a bit of a sociopath, they don't care about anyone but themselves. She is a bad one for sure. =} Thank you dear. Rox
Comment from Sally Law
This was a good installment and rather spooky chapter. Yikes, she is bad and truly a sick person. Poor Lonnie, and he was being such a gentleman.
The murder, however, and the amount of blood doesn't seem to coincide. If she bludgeoned him to death with a hammer, she would be covered from head to toe, not just gloves and face. (Blood loves to stick in hair and eyebrows.) In many cases I've studied, the murderer tracks through the blood spray with their shoes leaving a print. She would need to completely ditch her outfit and scour down. She was taking a chance walking home with so much DNA on her. She strikes me as too smart for that and would make sure it was well thought through in every detail of the cleanup. Just a thought. Keep em coming.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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This was a good installment and rather spooky chapter. Yikes, she is bad and truly a sick person. Poor Lonnie, and he was being such a gentleman.
The murder, however, and the amount of blood doesn't seem to coincide. If she bludgeoned him to death with a hammer, she would be covered from head to toe, not just gloves and face. (Blood loves to stick in hair and eyebrows.) In many cases I've studied, the murderer tracks through the blood spray with their shoes leaving a print. She would need to completely ditch her outfit and scour down. She was taking a chance walking home with so much DNA on her. She strikes me as too smart for that and would make sure it was well thought through in every detail of the cleanup. Just a thought. Keep em coming.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Okay, I made a few changes. I had thought about her being covered in blood as I know from watching ID that she would be. =} And Dateline of course. I'm almost an expert on murder. I'm always yelling at people who get caught, "Don't you watch Dateline, you idiot!" I could do a better job of covering up my murder than most of these people. I have planned a few many times in my head. =} Just kidding, well sort of. Anyway I made some amendments and hope it reads better. Thank you much my dear. Rox
Comment from Mistydawn
Another victim. The idiot made it easy for her too. I just hope she left something behind. Your chapter is very well-written, interesting, realistic start to finish, great job.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Another victim. The idiot made it easy for her too. I just hope she left something behind. Your chapter is very well-written, interesting, realistic start to finish, great job.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
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Yes, he should have had a clue. Doesn't he watch Dateline? Fool! Thanks so much my dear. Rox
Comment from Darlene BoClair
All about Monica and I like this chapter.
Monica's crime scene is very vivid.
I like that you are writing more about what's happening at the moment.
Blue Sky got a lot going on. The sheriff department is busy, and I like how other law enforcement people are getting involved. I am still excited and anxious to read what Monica is going to do next.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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All about Monica and I like this chapter.
Monica's crime scene is very vivid.
I like that you are writing more about what's happening at the moment.
Blue Sky got a lot going on. The sheriff department is busy, and I like how other law enforcement people are getting involved. I am still excited and anxious to read what Monica is going to do next.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Thank you dear. Rox
Comment from JudyE
Sounds like there is a serial killer on the loose here. One way of getting rid of people you don't like I guess. :)
Points for you to think about:
Big Sky Recreational Park was only about a one-fourth mile from Monica's home. - I might have said 'a quarter mile...'
The Jag was too memorable of a car - maybe 'a Jag would be too easily recognised' or 'too easily remembered'
She was dressed in all black, a hoodie jacket and jeans. - maybe 'dressed all in black...'
It was a cold night, snow had been forecast before morning. - period after 'night'
"Where's your car," Lonnie asked her - question mark after 'car'
Lonnie searched the ground and spotted the scarf. "Here it it." - should be 'here it is'
she took it as well, along with his coat and shoe - did you mean 'shoes'? (plural)
"Thank Sarah, she sent them. - period after 'Sarah'
This whole things had her pretty upset." - apostrophe needed 'this whole thing's had her....'
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Sounds like there is a serial killer on the loose here. One way of getting rid of people you don't like I guess. :)
Points for you to think about:
Big Sky Recreational Park was only about a one-fourth mile from Monica's home. - I might have said 'a quarter mile...'
The Jag was too memorable of a car - maybe 'a Jag would be too easily recognised' or 'too easily remembered'
She was dressed in all black, a hoodie jacket and jeans. - maybe 'dressed all in black...'
It was a cold night, snow had been forecast before morning. - period after 'night'
"Where's your car," Lonnie asked her - question mark after 'car'
Lonnie searched the ground and spotted the scarf. "Here it it." - should be 'here it is'
she took it as well, along with his coat and shoe - did you mean 'shoes'? (plural)
"Thank Sarah, she sent them. - period after 'Sarah'
This whole things had her pretty upset." - apostrophe needed 'this whole thing's had her....'
Comment Written 13-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
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Thanks for all the helps dear. =} Rox
