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Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 148 "Cups"
Assorted poetry

14 total reviews 
Comment from judiverse
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Maybe you were in your cups when you wrote this. The mood in this poem is sad, and the narrator's sense of loss is felt. The memories remain strong, and there's a sense of the loved one returning as a spirit. Maybe that's just the narrator's insanity coming through. judi

 Comment Written 15-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 15-Aug-2019
    One might wonder which cup is his.
reply by judiverse on 16-Aug-2019

    So true. I loved the picture of all the cups. judi
Comment from Earl Corp
Excellent
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That's going way south there hoss. I'm not sure if this is a funny or sad poem, the last two lines turned it funny for me at least. It rhymed makes sense., and entertained me.

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
    It was too heavy so I went crazy.
Comment from Teri7
Excellent
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Bill, I enjoyed reading and reviewing this poem. I love that the picture had the Christmas cups in it. So very pretty. And you used very good descriptive words. It was interesting my friend! Blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Teri
Comment from susand3022
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Yeah, well Bill, I have an entire shelf full of coffee mugs, Christmas and otherwise, and I don't drink coffee or tea. Nobody here ever uses them. Maybe a few times in the winter we might use a couple for cocoa. I haven't any idea why I need 15 or 20 of the things! Am I opening a store? LOL

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 13-Aug-2019
    I have them too. I actually have an entire cupboard with only Christmas mugs.
Comment from Gloria ....
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Well I don't think this poem went south at all. The artwork is fascinating as is the entire piece. Its tone is wistful and yet not wanting to admit to it.

Most enjoyable read.

Gloria

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Gloria.
Comment from kahpot
Excellent
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Well maybe a bit of a dash in the cocoa, you know some thing that may help kick the insanity into oblivion, I just hope if I go insane I can still write this well****kahpot

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Thank you, kahpot, for the kind review. Bill
Comment from BeasPeas
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I don't think your poem went south at all. A very well written poem. Suggest finding a better ending by changing the last two lines which would make the poem stellar. Marilyn

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Marilyn. Maybe if I change the title to Empty Cupboard it would make more sense.
reply by BeasPeas on 12-Aug-2019
    I like "Cups."
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Excellent
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Soooooo.... thought you were going for nostalgia...then, perhaps, melancholy... and, well, I should have known, right? INSANITY!! That's where you were going... oops! I don't think that came out right... :) :) LOL! Thanx for sharing, Sir Bill! ;) Yvette

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    I?m thinking of changing the name to Empty Cupboard. What do you think?
reply by Y. M. Roger on 12-Aug-2019
    Yeah... that fits better. :) :)
Comment from kiwigirl2821
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Hey Bill. I like the idea of this one but, if I could offer anything, I think it might be that last line; instead of "I've", I think it reads a little more fluently if you do the long hand thing "I have"...fun though!

xoxo deborah

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Good idea. Thanks.
Comment from nomi338
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You get five stars for being honest. The poem started out great, but as it started to get late, the work met an unexpected fate, It took a turn for the worse, it spawned an awkward verse, which caused me to issue a mild curse, "What the hell?"

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    This poem was too heavy and needed a vent.
reply by nomi338 on 12-Aug-2019
    Good catch.