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Captivity of Caleb

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Captivity Of Caleb 2"
Caleb a boy from Judea is taken captive

11 total reviews 
Comment from fm wright
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Truly loved the story and your retelling of an Israelite family's history. I might start the next to the last paragraph with a capital T on "that's. Otherwise in was flawless. Look forward to reading the next part. Also love the picture!

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 14-Aug-2019
    Thank you so very much for the encouraging review and edit. And precious stars. I truly do appreciate it.
    Blessings,
    Elaine
Comment from Mastery
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi, Elaine. Your post is very informative to say the least. You have given the information in a storybook order that makes it fairly easy to understand as a reader.

One thing I do not understand and have never been able to understand is the ages of people and in this case the count of wives for Solomon. Wow!
The numbering system was different ...right?

Suggestion: Leave a space between where one person finishes his dialogue and a new speaker as in this part:

""Caleb, do you remember what I told you about Abraham and that he finally had a son?"
"Yes, Saba I remember."

Sorry I have missed so much of this. I will try to do better, my friend. : ) Bless you. Bob

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Bob, you know how much I appreciate your reviews, especially six stars. I am overwhelmed. Yes, Solomon married princesses to affirm friendly relations with other countries. He also had three hundred concubines. I will fix the spacing. Thank you.
    Elaine
reply by Mastery on 12-Aug-2019
    I enjoyed this post, my friend. : ) Bob
Comment from sandramitchell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I liked the way you told this story with the Grandfather telling his grandson. The questions the boy asked was a natural thing, which made the story real. This story has been told for thousands of years and still we love to hear it. Well done. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Thank you so much for your review. You are right. The story has been passed down through the family for hundreds of years.
    Blessings,
    Elaine
Comment from Sally Law
Excellent
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Great story and really the best story of God's love and sacrificial gift of Christ shadowed here. It been Gods redemptive and divine plan all along.

One scriptural error. It was a ram in the thicket, not a lamb as you had Nathan retelling here.

See Genesis 22:13. "And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the
ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son." (King James Version.)

Sweet story of a faith passed down through the generations, Elaine.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo


 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Thank you for reviewing, and for the correction. I know better because in Hebrew savek is horned. The truth is I have never understood why it was a ram and not a lamb. I will keep researching and praying for an answer.
    Blessings,
    Elaine
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Elaine. I really enjoyed reading your account of the historical rise and tribulations of the nation of Israel. You told the story well by using dialogue between the grandfather and Caleb. I like the technique you used building the story. It's really well done and needs 6 stars. Robert

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Robert, thank you for your sincere review, and precious stars. I am writing this story for my great -grandchildren, and posting it for those who really care.
    Blessings,
    Elaine
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 12-Aug-2019
    It's superb. Robert
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    Thanks again, Robert.
    Elaine
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have enjoyed this authentic, committed and inspirational taletelling, appreciable and candid style of expression; realistic mode of presentation; well said, well done. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2019
    I do appreciate your meaningful review. I?m not interested in receiving many reviews. I want to know that the reader was inspired.Thank you.
    Blessings,
    Elaine
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wonderful way of telling this Bible story.

I would Say he was at least 12." (not sure why there's a capital 's' on say)

"You understand that we sacrifice animals because of our great sin Someday there will be a great sacrifice that will take away the sin of the world." (Need period after sin.)


"when Isaac was born Sarah asked Abraham to send Hagar and her son away because she was afraid Ishmael would take Isaac's inheritance." (need capital 'w' on when)


"Was that right because wasn't its Sarah's idea for Hager to have a child and didn't Abraham love Ishmael too? and where did he go?" Caleb asked. (capital 'a' on and. you can forget and and just capitalize 'Where')


"that's not the end of the story, Caleb. (capital needed on That)

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
    Barbara, thanks for reviewing and for the edits.
    Elaine
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed reading your authors notes as much as your interpretation of the Biblical events. A very good and believable story that I have enjoyed reading and reviewing very much.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 11-Aug-2019
    Thank you, I?m happy you read the authors notes, and found them helpful.
    Blessings,
    Elaine
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Light: great Bible story to share and witness to the world. I like
how it's told in story format. We need to all share stories about
God and his people. Isaac saw the angel and Abraham heard the
voice. We can feel God's presence when we praise Him. So glad
you joined us on FS. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
    Thank you so much. I do appreciate your review.
    Blessings,
    Elaine
Comment from CharR
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You were very successful providing a lot of information in the Chapter. I felt that the last part at the end about Jacob didn't fit with the previous part and may need to be a new chapter.

General editing: Sabba was spelled with one b once.

I liked the Sarah/laughter connection, I had not heard that before.

Is shadow picture foreshadowing?

Are Moses and Moshe the same? If so, recommend just using one name throughout, or explain why it changes..

When you first mention Midian, recommend stating "they went to Midian, which is in Arabia, where..."

You might want to explain Hagar and Ishmael's relationship to Abraham (servant, mother to his child because Sarah was barren)

Hard to distinguish who had the 12 sons...You start out talking about Jacob, then mention Abraham and Sarah only having one son. But we just heard about Abraham's other son... It is subtle that it is Sarah that only had one son. Then we hear about Isaac. Maybe say "Jacob was one of Isaac's 12 sons..."

The last part is very dense, takes a different tone. Doesn't have the interaction with Caleb here...recommend splitting that part into the next chapter and using the same formula as the beginning of this chapter.

Again, great job squeezing a lot if information into the chapter. I like the teaching tone and interaction between the older and younger generation. Sounds like it will be a great book for children to read and learn.

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 Comment Written 10-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 10-Aug-2019
    Char, thank you so much for reviewing and the edits. Hagar is explained in chapter one. The part about Jacob was just information, not part of the story. I fixed that.
    Blessings,
    Elaine