St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "St. Louis Chapter 10 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
23 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Well written instalment.
In the kitchen, McKenzie stood beside and watched Joanie as she cut up cabbage and carrots for coleslaw.- this reads a little awkwardly. beside what? Joanie? It may be better to stay stood aside.
Trying to catch up.
G
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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Hi there,
Well written instalment.
In the kitchen, McKenzie stood beside and watched Joanie as she cut up cabbage and carrots for coleslaw.- this reads a little awkwardly. beside what? Joanie? It may be better to stay stood aside.
Trying to catch up.
G
Comment Written 22-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2019
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I will check that area and see if I shouldn't change the entire sentence. Thank you.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Barbara. This is the first chapter of your story that I've read. It's clear and interesting upon reading this chapter. I read your author's note and send my blessings to your son and your family. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Hi Barbara. This is the first chapter of your story that I've read. It's clear and interesting upon reading this chapter. I read your author's note and send my blessings to your son and your family. Best of luck in the contest. Marilyn
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 03-Aug-2019
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Thank you for the blessing and the very kind review.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I liked this very well structure, organized, simple taletelling, brief and realistic but contributory dialogues, straight and round characterization, and quest and curious ending; well said, well done. Enjoyed the read. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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I liked this very well structure, organized, simple taletelling, brief and realistic but contributory dialogues, straight and round characterization, and quest and curious ending; well said, well done. Enjoyed the read. Keep Writing, Inspiring, Changing
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from susand3022
Hi Barbara! I've been away for a bit too, but am back and all caught up now! I smell a sting in the works... I hope it doesn't make things worse for Mack... you know... they could be 'stinging' the people who are after her! :o
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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Hi Barbara! I've been away for a bit too, but am back and all caught up now! I smell a sting in the works... I hope it doesn't make things worse for Mack... you know... they could be 'stinging' the people who are after her! :o
Comment Written 01-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2019
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You have a very good point. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from light
Really great dialogue here. It makes the reader feel like part of the story. Why the interest in poker? Is he planning a poker game and testing his odds for winning?
Great read.
Elaine
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Really great dialogue here. It makes the reader feel like part of the story. Why the interest in poker? Is he planning a poker game and testing his odds for winning?
Great read.
Elaine
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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We will find out Sunday why the poker game. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from tfawcus
Nice easy banter and good use of humour in this one to counterbalance what looks like being an interesting shift in the story. Sorry to hear about your son, Steven. I hope the prognosis is good. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Nice easy banter and good use of humour in this one to counterbalance what looks like being an interesting shift in the story. Sorry to hear about your son, Steven. I hope the prognosis is good. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your thought. Yes, starting Sunday things will look a little different. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from robyn corum
Barb,
Sounds like Mac may be going undercover again. Yikes. And as to your book, I like the 'Under' option. It has a definite ring to me. Either way, much good luck!!!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Barb,
Sounds like Mac may be going undercover again. Yikes. And as to your book, I like the 'Under' option. It has a definite ring to me. Either way, much good luck!!!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Thank you for the kind review. So far it's equal votes.
Comment from the13thpoet
Good Tuesday morning Barbara, that was a pretty good continuation to the story. Though I was craving a little action or suspense, I enjoyed it, the characters and dialogue were good. Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Good Tuesday morning Barbara, that was a pretty good continuation to the story. Though I was craving a little action or suspense, I enjoyed it, the characters and dialogue were good. Well done.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That's what I want to know. Oh, that is my favourite pudding, too! To die for!!! This is a nice part full of natural family and friends chat. But you have left us with the big question, why does Mitch want Mac to play cards? Has he lost a lot of money in the game? Or is it something quite different? Can't wait to find out. Another excellent part, my friend, :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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That's what I want to know. Oh, that is my favourite pudding, too! To die for!!! This is a nice part full of natural family and friends chat. But you have left us with the big question, why does Mitch want Mac to play cards? Has he lost a lot of money in the game? Or is it something quite different? Can't wait to find out. Another excellent part, my friend, :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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We will find Sunday what this is all about. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from barkingdog
First, I wanted to say congratulations on your publishing successes. On the title 'Siege of the Rockin' A' is a good choice.
I'm still playing catch up on this story. All read well. I didn't see any corrections. Smooth a silk. :) e
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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First, I wanted to say congratulations on your publishing successes. On the title 'Siege of the Rockin' A' is a good choice.
I'm still playing catch up on this story. All read well. I didn't see any corrections. Smooth a silk. :) e
Comment Written 30-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
