The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Piper, Part 23 "Young Adult Fantasy
16 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Okay, time to check in again! Wow!! So much going on. First, Burkehart warns Piper that Redd-Leif I'd going to claim he was Piper's father, then it happens.
What does Burkehart know, or thinks he knows? What's the connection?
Good for me, I don't have to wait until you post again. Next chapter is a click away.
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Okay, time to check in again! Wow!! So much going on. First, Burkehart warns Piper that Redd-Leif I'd going to claim he was Piper's father, then it happens.
What does Burkehart know, or thinks he knows? What's the connection?
Good for me, I don't have to wait until you post again. Next chapter is a click away.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 31-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2023
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Hi Ronda,
Thanks for checking in. I'm so glad you are enjoying the story. I love your questions.
Thank you. Have a great day.
Debi
Comment from May 1
Yes, I agree a bath can be quite refreshing and invigorating. I love that we don't know if this part 'not today' was him saying it or the fife. It's strange to me that Piper is not more curious especially having in mind he doesn't trust the Fae completely. It's starting to sound like I was right all along. Lynx sounds fun.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Yes, I agree a bath can be quite refreshing and invigorating. I love that we don't know if this part 'not today' was him saying it or the fife. It's strange to me that Piper is not more curious especially having in mind he doesn't trust the Fae completely. It's starting to sound like I was right all along. Lynx sounds fun.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2020
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Hi May 1,
I am glad you liked the ambiguity of the phrase, "Not today." That was on purpose so I am glad it worked. Thank you for the analysis of Piper and his curiosity, or lack of verbalizing it at least. Lynx is full of energy.
Thanks again for a helpful review.
Debi
Comment from annh
This is brilliant! So cohesive and authentic. I would not like to guess what your background is, but unlike much of what is written on this site, the surface of your writing can be scratched and there is substance beneath it. Music? Linguistics? I particularly like your referencing of Anglo-Saxon/Middle English/Germanic (?) lore/myth and language. Beautiful. Cheers, annh :)
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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This is brilliant! So cohesive and authentic. I would not like to guess what your background is, but unlike much of what is written on this site, the surface of your writing can be scratched and there is substance beneath it. Music? Linguistics? I particularly like your referencing of Anglo-Saxon/Middle English/Germanic (?) lore/myth and language. Beautiful. Cheers, annh :)
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Hi annh,
I never expect a review once my work is no longer listed, so what a delightful surprise I found when I opened FS today. Your comments are so generous and encouraging. It means so much to me to know you found depth beneath that surface.
I do play a handful of instruments, and I love mythology so I am constantly studying it. There is so much out there learn.
Thank you so much for the six stars, but even more for the comments. You really brightened my day!
Debi
Comment from WryWriter
This is an extremely well-written fantasy story. The characters come alive in dialogue and action. The paragraphs transition well and the internal plot holds reader attention. I enjoyed reading your work!
Is this a suggestion or a question? "Look, why don't you come with me now so we don't lose you, too?"
"I have a lot I need to tell you . . . My boy." (my boy)
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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This is an extremely well-written fantasy story. The characters come alive in dialogue and action. The paragraphs transition well and the internal plot holds reader attention. I enjoyed reading your work!
Is this a suggestion or a question? "Look, why don't you come with me now so we don't lose you, too?"
"I have a lot I need to tell you . . . My boy." (my boy)
Comment Written 05-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2019
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Your review was a delightful surprise this morning. Thank you for including some suggestions for improvement. I will change the punctuation. I meant to call attention to the word "my", but see your point. I have corrected it to be lower case and italicized it instead.
Thank you for the encouraging comments and stating that you enjoyed reading the story. I appreciate your review.
Comment from BeasPeas
Your writing is excellent, debi. Detail and scene setting are well described for your reader. Interesting dialogue. In this chapter Piper finally learns (will learn) of his true parentage. Marilyn
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Your writing is excellent, debi. Detail and scene setting are well described for your reader. Interesting dialogue. In this chapter Piper finally learns (will learn) of his true parentage. Marilyn
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Hi Marilyn,
Thank you for the kind comments and analysis. I appreciate you dropping by. It looks like you've had quite a bit of excitement this year with your eyes and the birds in the back yard. I look forward to catching upon BOT.
Debi
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Hi debi. You're welcome and thank you. :)
Comment from juliaSjames
I'm a fan of fantasy and I'm really pleased to stumble across your work. It reads well as a stand alone piece. Characters come alive on the page. Piper seems young for his age. Maybe he's had a sheltered upbringing.
Excellent conclusion leaving the reader wanting more.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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I'm a fan of fantasy and I'm really pleased to stumble across your work. It reads well as a stand alone piece. Characters come alive on the page. Piper seems young for his age. Maybe he's had a sheltered upbringing.
Excellent conclusion leaving the reader wanting more.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 29-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2019
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Hi Julia,
It's nice to meet you. Thank you for the kind comments about the writing.
You are so right about Piper and his sheltered past. He has grown up in a privileged class at Castle Welf and has recently gone on the road with a new music master. He is a bit naïve about everything that isn't music.
Thank you for stopping by to read and review.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-My first reaction when I finished reading
this, Debi, was WOW! A great chapter,
and you haven't missed a note!
-The background helped a lot,
and leaves us wondering about Burkehart.
-The story flows from beginning to end.
-Things are very pleasant as Piper enjoys his
surroundings and examines the special fife.
-His grandfather seems to be communicating
with him, and that adds to the many existing mysteries.
-You build the suspense little by little,
by focusing on small, everyday things, except for Sheba.
But then, something starts changing.
-After many questions, Piper is trying to piece
together the answers, as is the reader.
-We figure that Redd-Leif is his father from
answers given, but then there is a diversion
from a group wanting to come into the camp.
-Obviously, Redd-Leif wasn't
quick enough before Lynx spoke.
-However, we also know that there are many
twists in this story-was he going to tell
Lynx that he wasn't his father, or maybe
he isn't Piper's father, either!
-I can't say enough good things about
this chapter; I loved it!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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-My first reaction when I finished reading
this, Debi, was WOW! A great chapter,
and you haven't missed a note!
-The background helped a lot,
and leaves us wondering about Burkehart.
-The story flows from beginning to end.
-Things are very pleasant as Piper enjoys his
surroundings and examines the special fife.
-His grandfather seems to be communicating
with him, and that adds to the many existing mysteries.
-You build the suspense little by little,
by focusing on small, everyday things, except for Sheba.
But then, something starts changing.
-After many questions, Piper is trying to piece
together the answers, as is the reader.
-We figure that Redd-Leif is his father from
answers given, but then there is a diversion
from a group wanting to come into the camp.
-Obviously, Redd-Leif wasn't
quick enough before Lynx spoke.
-However, we also know that there are many
twists in this story-was he going to tell
Lynx that he wasn't his father, or maybe
he isn't Piper's father, either!
-I can't say enough good things about
this chapter; I loved it!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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Hi Pam,
Thank you so much for such a delightful review. I am so pleased to hear you loved it.
I appreciate all the support and encouragement you have given me from the first chapter on. After a year with no new chapters, it would be easy to think that no one would remember the story at all.
I appreciate your analysis of this chapter. It helps me to know if I have communicated effectively. It appears you understood everything I wanted to get across. Whew!
Thank you!
Debi
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and the review, Debi. I really enjoy this story, and it is a testament to your writing that I still remember it, appreciate it, and enjoy it!!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I was very pleased to see this pop up on the lists. It's been too long. Hopefully the posts will be a bit more regular once again.
great continuation of the piece and nice revelations here.
The previously section works very well and brought everything back so well.
The characters are just how I remember them ao the consistency is there and the dialogue sounds real.
Great stuff
G
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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Hi there,
I was very pleased to see this pop up on the lists. It's been too long. Hopefully the posts will be a bit more regular once again.
great continuation of the piece and nice revelations here.
The previously section works very well and brought everything back so well.
The characters are just how I remember them ao the consistency is there and the dialogue sounds real.
Great stuff
G
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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Hi G,
Thank you for the kind words and for letting me know the "previously section" was effective. It's been over a year since I posted and I was worried no one would remember the story at all.
Thank you so much for the encouragement.
Debi
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is a very well written chapter of fantasy, my friend.It sounds like Piper has a lot more to learn. Even though I haven't followed the story, I found this interesting, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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This is a very well written chapter of fantasy, my friend.It sounds like Piper has a lot more to learn. Even though I haven't followed the story, I found this interesting, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 28-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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Thank you for the great review, Debbie. I am glad you found the chapter interesting.
Debi
Comment from DonandVicki
A very compelling chapter in your story. I will have to go back and get caught up on the rest. You have a canny way of stopping the chapter keeping the reader wanting more.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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A very compelling chapter in your story. I will have to go back and get caught up on the rest. You have a canny way of stopping the chapter keeping the reader wanting more.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your thoughts about the writing and your encouraging comments. I appreciate it.
Debi
