Green Light
A story of vision in politics4 total reviews
Comment from nor84
contest announcement specifies the following:You have acquired this unique Superpower! It can be anything you like. Tell us how it has impacted your life and what events have occurred since you became a Superman or Superwoman!
sounds like the story is supposed to be told by the main character, not by a narrator.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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contest announcement specifies the following:You have acquired this unique Superpower! It can be anything you like. Tell us how it has impacted your life and what events have occurred since you became a Superman or Superwoman!
sounds like the story is supposed to be told by the main character, not by a narrator.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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well then I guess I'll be disqualified.Thanks for your review
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A great ending to this story which held my interest throughout. There are some spags to fix:
so shocked by it's(its) intensity that she almost dropped Bobby.
a blast of the suns (sun's) rays came
The earth is changing to (too) fast to (too) soon
life of it's (its) own.
Russia, China and Iran has (have) made it clear
they went to (to) far with technology on their own planet causing the explosion not long after boarding the space ship, a ship roughly the size of 3 air craft carriers. They to (too), much like us, had global warming detectors, and they to (too), much like us, ignored the warnings.
Almost up until it was to (too) late and death to all.
In it's path is an asteroid
rite (right) through while increasing it's (its) speed another
It's (its) distance is light years away. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the space ship, now with no protective shield, formed into a giant oval shape. In an instant it's (its) speed excelled so fast that it gave the appearance of a massive green light excelling it's (its) way through the universe straight towards earth.
life of it's own. (its)
I would capitalize president, oval office and white house throughout.
Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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A great ending to this story which held my interest throughout. There are some spags to fix:
so shocked by it's(its) intensity that she almost dropped Bobby.
a blast of the suns (sun's) rays came
The earth is changing to (too) fast to (too) soon
life of it's (its) own.
Russia, China and Iran has (have) made it clear
they went to (to) far with technology on their own planet causing the explosion not long after boarding the space ship, a ship roughly the size of 3 air craft carriers. They to (too), much like us, had global warming detectors, and they to (too), much like us, ignored the warnings.
Almost up until it was to (too) late and death to all.
In it's path is an asteroid
rite (right) through while increasing it's (its) speed another
It's (its) distance is light years away. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, the space ship, now with no protective shield, formed into a giant oval shape. In an instant it's (its) speed excelled so fast that it gave the appearance of a massive green light excelling it's (its) way through the universe straight towards earth.
life of it's own. (its)
I would capitalize president, oval office and white house throughout.
Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Thank You Debbie for your review and points, well taken. Brian
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Good story. A couple of small spelling word uses near the end that you might want to fix. Compelling narrative. Could make a nice sequel adaptation for the Independence Day franchise or the War of the Worlds movie. Good work!
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Good story. A couple of small spelling word uses near the end that you might want to fix. Compelling narrative. Could make a nice sequel adaptation for the Independence Day franchise or the War of the Worlds movie. Good work!
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Thank You Brenda for you kind and helpful review. Brian
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You're welcome Brian!
Comment from Alex Rosel
I liked this. I think it's a good entry for the Superpower contest :)
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
while whats in front is seen in a slight blur. -- Spag? A contraction requires an apostrophe. So it's what's.
the possibility of world war 3 is growing -- In this context, I'd capitalize World War 3.
President Rushmore -- I think Rushmore is a great name for a President, given the Mount Rushmore connotations :)
Good luck with the competition :)
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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I liked this. I think it's a good entry for the Superpower contest :)
Here are a few points you might like to consider:
while whats in front is seen in a slight blur. -- Spag? A contraction requires an apostrophe. So it's what's.
the possibility of world war 3 is growing -- In this context, I'd capitalize World War 3.
President Rushmore -- I think Rushmore is a great name for a President, given the Mount Rushmore connotations :)
Good luck with the competition :)
Comment Written 22-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2019
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Thank you Alex for your review and helpful points. Brian
