Assassin Nation
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Where We Are Now"A sequel to the novel Baker's Dozen
6 total reviews
Comment from brenda faye curtis
I have a feeling Manny may find a way to outsmart Samantha, though I'm pretty sure that saying "I'll check the plane for what happened" was a mistake.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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I have a feeling Manny may find a way to outsmart Samantha, though I'm pretty sure that saying "I'll check the plane for what happened" was a mistake.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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The plane?s gone, but the video was sent to Manny?s device.
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That's true, but he should not have told Samantha he'd check to see what happened, right?
Comment from nomi338
Oops. Technology trips up the unwary once again, I am certain that Samantha did not expect Manny to be so wonderfully gifted with cool devices. Now though, he has to continually watch his back, His enemies are numerous, powerful and without morals. Juicy!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Oops. Technology trips up the unwary once again, I am certain that Samantha did not expect Manny to be so wonderfully gifted with cool devices. Now though, he has to continually watch his back, His enemies are numerous, powerful and without morals. Juicy!
Comment Written 19-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thanks, nomi
Comment from lyenochka
Thanks for putting the list of characters right up front. (But you have Anthra for Sam in the list and Anthar in the story.) I know that the woman was alive on the plane but killed by someone, I can't remember so Sam is hiding things.
Minor nits:
"Chairman Fat." said the president." (Fat,)
"a mental kalidescope of " (kaleidoscope)
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thanks for putting the list of characters right up front. (But you have Anthra for Sam in the list and Anthar in the story.) I know that the woman was alive on the plane but killed by someone, I can't remember so Sam is hiding things.
Minor nits:
"Chairman Fat." said the president." (Fat,)
"a mental kalidescope of " (kaleidoscope)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thanks, lyenochka, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hi Bill. As the dialogue in the narrative continue to define who is left and who is gone, I reread the last line of the chapter over in my mind several times. I will keep looking for the eternal rather than the temporal. I will look forward to learning more about the unseen.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Hi Bill. As the dialogue in the narrative continue to define who is left and who is gone, I reread the last line of the chapter over in my mind several times. I will keep looking for the eternal rather than the temporal. I will look forward to learning more about the unseen.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Robert, for giving this a good look. Bill
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You're welcome.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Oh those hidden cameras will end up getting you every time. This is well written - no SPAG to be had. It moves along nicely, but there does seem to be quite a few characters to keep track of - but you seem to have developed them well. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Oh those hidden cameras will end up getting you every time. This is well written - no SPAG to be had. It moves along nicely, but there does seem to be quite a few characters to keep track of - but you seem to have developed them well. Nicely done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thanks, MA. I?ll try to keep it all making sense. Bill
Comment from Earl Corp
There is a lot more double dealing and backstabbing in this than Baker's Dozen. I found a few errors: You don't need the in front of President Sullivan. conveinence is spelled convenience.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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There is a lot more double dealing and backstabbing in this than Baker's Dozen. I found a few errors: You don't need the in front of President Sullivan. conveinence is spelled convenience.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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...and I found even more errors.
