Creme De Menthe
2nd Place in Consequences Contest/July 17, 201915 total reviews
Comment from Darlene Franklin
I love the way the lesson learned in not the expected one. And the great sound of "sticky, icky liquor" which in turn reminds me of "lacquer" which is your hair looked like. Good luck.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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I love the way the lesson learned in not the expected one. And the great sound of "sticky, icky liquor" which in turn reminds me of "lacquer" which is your hair looked like. Good luck.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Ha! Yes that is definitely what it looked like! So happy you enjoyed! Thank you for reading and your awesome feedback! :) xoxo
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You're welcome
Comment from Mia Twysted
That is one way to learn a lesson. I like the feel of this piece. Like someone is sitting right next to me recalling a memory. Although you are telling me the story I can see it and that is important,
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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That is one way to learn a lesson. I like the feel of this piece. Like someone is sitting right next to me recalling a memory. Although you are telling me the story I can see it and that is important,
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thank you Mia! I?m so happy you enjoyed! It is my first story on here so your feedback is sincerely appreciated! :) xoxo
Comment from The Death
Hi Diana,
I got this from your portfolio. This is a touching tribute for your friend. Your descriptions were excellent and helped build the setting. The time we spend with our friends always leave with us some great moments. It was fun to read about the lesson you learned that night.
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Hi Diana,
I got this from your portfolio. This is a touching tribute for your friend. Your descriptions were excellent and helped build the setting. The time we spend with our friends always leave with us some great moments. It was fun to read about the lesson you learned that night.
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much! I am honored you viewed directly from my portfolio! It has been 43 years since her passing, and I still miss her to this day. She was one of those "once in a lifetime" friends. I have never been as close to another. We used to say we were one spirit in two bodies. :) I am blessed to have had that friendship in my life!
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Thanks for sharing this! It's great to know you value these memories even after 43 years. It's indeed a blessing to have such people in our lives. :)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written hilarious memory that could hve turned out much worse, but at least you have a memory you can laugh about today, I am sorry your friend is no longer able to laugh with you.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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A very well-written hilarious memory that could hve turned out much worse, but at least you have a memory you can laugh about today, I am sorry your friend is no longer able to laugh with you.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thanks for reading and leaving me feedback! We had some very good times together in our short years as friends, and I miss her so even today :)
Comment from Bill Schott
This story ends up being charming, as I was thinking it would get dark at some point. The playful letting off of steam seems appropriate, albeit including fourteen-year-olds drinking. Guess I've been there though. Nice job with this.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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This story ends up being charming, as I was thinking it would get dark at some point. The playful letting off of steam seems appropriate, albeit including fourteen-year-olds drinking. Guess I've been there though. Nice job with this.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Bill! I appreciate your reading and leaving me feedback! Oh the errors of youth! LOL
Comment from Six-Star Writer
It should be "I had never drunk before," not "I had never drank before." Yeah, drinking plays havoc on a person. Alcohol really isn't good for people. My favorite part of the story is when the father for some strange. Lucky guy.
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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It should be "I had never drunk before," not "I had never drank before." Yeah, drinking plays havoc on a person. Alcohol really isn't good for people. My favorite part of the story is when the father for some strange. Lucky guy.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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LoL! thanks for the correction! :) I found out that night that I wasn't particularly found of alcohol for sure! thank you reading and leaving me feedback.
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You're welcome.
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all changed now! I wish I had a reviewer nom left, but sadly none until the end of the month now.
Comment from Angie Dent
A funny story and we all have one of those teenage drinks that we'd probably never drink again! I am sad to hear about your friend passing away at such a young age and it is a lovely tribute to her.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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A funny story and we all have one of those teenage drinks that we'd probably never drink again! I am sad to hear about your friend passing away at such a young age and it is a lovely tribute to her.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for reading and your condolences. Even though it has been 43 years now, she will always be that ?once in a lifetime? friend for me. I appreciate you enjoyed our story :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your story contest entry, Mystery Author. Your lines flow smoothly with a great little story to tell. Good job with the prompt. It was easy to follow along and 'see' this happening. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
Thankfully she was not home [who is the she--a bit confusing--I really do know, but you MAY wish to look at this again.[
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed your story contest entry, Mystery Author. Your lines flow smoothly with a great little story to tell. Good job with the prompt. It was easy to follow along and 'see' this happening. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
Thankfully she was not home [who is the she--a bit confusing--I really do know, but you MAY wish to look at this again.[
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thanks Jan! The she is the person her father had the affair with (the wretched creature) lol! But contest is closed now so I don?t think I can edit it further :(. Appreciate you read and gave me feedback! It?s my first short story on this site! xoxo
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You can go in and edit.
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Ok thanks, i just added a bit to identify whose fence it was! xoxo
Comment from Gail Denham
How sad that you lost this friend. We lost one less than a year after graduation too - she was one of our "Mob" - one doesn't quit thinking about them.
This is humorous of cours e- another moral of the story is "don't sit on a wooden fence when you're woozy".
I do remember those giggles we gals had back in the day - often at a slumber party (which didn't please our resident parents much)
Good job.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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How sad that you lost this friend. We lost one less than a year after graduation too - she was one of our "Mob" - one doesn't quit thinking about them.
This is humorous of cours e- another moral of the story is "don't sit on a wooden fence when you're woozy".
I do remember those giggles we gals had back in the day - often at a slumber party (which didn't please our resident parents much)
Good job.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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thank you for stopping to check it out and your feedback. It has been 43 years and I still miss her today. Some people just never leave your heart. :) i appreciate that you enjoyed and can relate and yes, that would have been another good moral of the story - don't sit a fence when inebriated LOLOL!!
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a great entry for the contest! I thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end. There's nothing like the memory of your first experience with alcohol - thankfully yours was not as bad as it could have been. You have a small typo to look at:
"Becky open the bottle" - should be 'opened'.
Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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This is a great entry for the contest! I thoroughly enjoyed it from beginning to end. There's nothing like the memory of your first experience with alcohol - thankfully yours was not as bad as it could have been. You have a small typo to look at:
"Becky open the bottle" - should be 'opened'.
Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much for catching that typo! I'll correct it right now! Appreciate your reading and enjoying! this is my first attempt at a short story on this site, so all feedback is immensely appreciated. I'm just sorry i have no review noms left :(
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No need to reward me for simply helping another writer put their best foot forward. This is a stellar entry for your first try so keep on trying :).
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Awe! you just made my whole entire day! :) xoxoxoxo
