Bikini Battle
A teenager obeys her father.12 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, Bikini Battle, has the correct word count and ends with dad coming up against a 'nude' awakening.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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This one-hundred-word story, Bikini Battle, has the correct word count and ends with dad coming up against a 'nude' awakening.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Haha... clever. Thanks for your humorous review.
Comment from Winslow
Dear Lisa,
Always away around having to wear a bikini. I read the other stories in this competition. I felt yours was the best. A father's command adhered to in spirit and for real. LOL
You get my vote.
Winslow
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Dear Lisa,
Always away around having to wear a bikini. I read the other stories in this competition. I felt yours was the best. A father's command adhered to in spirit and for real. LOL
You get my vote.
Winslow
Comment Written 14-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Great review! Thanks so much for the vote of confidence, Winslow.
Comment from victor 66
I thought this was a very well-done story. It was humorous, at the same time real and it had a nice little catch at the ending. I enjoyed the story and I wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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I thought this was a very well-done story. It was humorous, at the same time real and it had a nice little catch at the ending. I enjoyed the story and I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Nice review, thank you Victor. I really appreciate your high rating.
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You are most welcome.
Comment from Rikki66
Dad got his desire fulfilled she didn't wear the swimsuit in public She wore her birthday suit. Good story.
Rikki:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Dad got his desire fulfilled she didn't wear the swimsuit in public She wore her birthday suit. Good story.
Rikki:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Comment Written 13-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Thanks for reviewing, Rikki
Yep... she knew how to outwit her father, like most teenagers do.
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Poor Dad.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
An elderly checkout clerk read one of my books. The book was about a misspent youth. I asked if she ever did anything wild. She said, "Heavens no, not unless you count skinny dipping.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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An elderly checkout clerk read one of my books. The book was about a misspent youth. I asked if she ever did anything wild. She said, "Heavens no, not unless you count skinny dipping.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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What a tearaway streak she must have had!!
Thanks for your review.
Comment from Six-Star Writer
Yes!! Great ending. Funny as hell. The father certainly didn't win that one. He probably had a fit when she told him she'd been swimming naked--even if she was only joking.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Yes!! Great ending. Funny as hell. The father certainly didn't win that one. He probably had a fit when she told him she'd been swimming naked--even if she was only joking.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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I thought you might like it! The teen won that round. Thanks for reviewing.
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Now I'm sad, because I just realized I never got to swim with a naked chick.
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You're not dead yet. It might happen one day.
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I think I have more chance of winning the lottery.
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Might be an idea if you bought a ticket.
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I just posted a profile thought but it didn't make it to the community profile thoughts page. My posts used to go there. I think they are being blocked. There have been so many profound questions asked in the FS community lately, so I wanted to add mine, which is: Is it okay to fart in a public place, or hold it in?
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It may have been blocked (unlike your anus) because it is a stinker of a question.
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Maybe. I guess FS is like a book-burning site. Censorship is alive and well in the 21st century.
Comment from Darlene Franklin
Well, she followed the letter of her father's instructions, if not their intent! I think it might be fun to show her full suit completely dry upon return, but not sure how to do that w ith this word count. A story with a familiar truth, told in a new way. Well done.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Well, she followed the letter of her father's instructions, if not their intent! I think it might be fun to show her full suit completely dry upon return, but not sure how to do that w ith this word count. A story with a familiar truth, told in a new way. Well done.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
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Teenagers are always trying to get one over their parents.
Thanks for reviewing.
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Yup, you captured it perfectly.
Comment from royowen
I had to have a chuckle at this one. It's like the excuse, but nobody told I couldn't, children have made a number of clever but but deceitful ways of overcoming strict parents, well done, an excellent entry, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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I had to have a chuckle at this one. It's like the excuse, but nobody told I couldn't, children have made a number of clever but but deceitful ways of overcoming strict parents, well done, an excellent entry, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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Thanks Roy. Us daughters have to be devious to outwit our fathers.
Thanks for reviewing my piece.
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Heh heh
Comment from Alex Rosel
I enjoyed reading this. It's very evocative of the battle that seems never ending between the generations.
Just one point, and I know it'll throw your word count out and you'll have to compensate for it elsewhere if you decide to take it on:
He demanded that she take her old one-piece costume to the beach. -- Personally, I'd omit this. I think the story will have more of a punch if Meg does obey her father, only the consequences are not what he expected. So, when he says "I will not allow you to be seen in public wearing those flimsy bits of string and tiny triangles!", Meg's reaction is one of O.K. I'll show you... I think that sort of mini-twist will just give the piece more attitude. Just a personal preference...
Good luck with the competition :)
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed reading this. It's very evocative of the battle that seems never ending between the generations.
Just one point, and I know it'll throw your word count out and you'll have to compensate for it elsewhere if you decide to take it on:
He demanded that she take her old one-piece costume to the beach. -- Personally, I'd omit this. I think the story will have more of a punch if Meg does obey her father, only the consequences are not what he expected. So, when he says "I will not allow you to be seen in public wearing those flimsy bits of string and tiny triangles!", Meg's reaction is one of O.K. I'll show you... I think that sort of mini-twist will just give the piece more attitude. Just a personal preference...
Good luck with the competition :)
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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Thanks for your comments. Yeah... I thought long and hard about what he said and what she heard. He just told her to take her one-piece... she interpreted that to mean she didn't have to actually wear it. She did obey him about the bikini though.
I wrestled with the story enough to craft it to the tight 100 so I am over it now!
Comment from giraffmang
Ah, yes,
All fathers must choose their words with the greatest of care when conversing with their daughters. lol
Nice little piece for the comp. Spot on word count.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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Ah, yes,
All fathers must choose their words with the greatest of care when conversing with their daughters. lol
Nice little piece for the comp. Spot on word count.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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...and some daughters are always looking for a way to outwit their fathersI Thanks for reviewing.
