The Eternal Sweater
Free style24 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This poem because of the subject matter could be made into a longer story even a book. You have established a strong setting. Your whole story revolves around an object. The object develops the characters and the plot around the characters. You did all of this with a poignant poem. This becomes a universal stop. Who of us does not have a sentimental object which we somehow cannot get rid of.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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This poem because of the subject matter could be made into a longer story even a book. You have established a strong setting. Your whole story revolves around an object. The object develops the characters and the plot around the characters. You did all of this with a poignant poem. This becomes a universal stop. Who of us does not have a sentimental object which we somehow cannot get rid of.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2019
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It could be a book, but that time was so depressing I'm not sure I have the heart for it. THanks so much for this kind review :))
Carol
Comment from Susan Larson
I love this. You capture so well the emotions of putting so much love into something, only to have its memory kept alive in your heart. Your final line really tugged at me. Having lost two of my sons, I know all too well those kinds of memories.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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I love this. You capture so well the emotions of putting so much love into something, only to have its memory kept alive in your heart. Your final line really tugged at me. Having lost two of my sons, I know all too well those kinds of memories.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your sons...it has taken me so many years to have the memories retreat to the back corner of my mind. With your own child, maybe that never happens. Hugs,
Carol
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi Carol,
This is a fascinating story in a poem :) You have me curious to know more of the story. Who, what, when, where? I'm nosy lol! I think you captured a ton of emotions which I think is great. This is definitely above and beyond poetry of excellence. Congratulations on the nomination! Best wishes in the voting booth.
Sincerely Joy xx
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Hi Carol,
This is a fascinating story in a poem :) You have me curious to know more of the story. Who, what, when, where? I'm nosy lol! I think you captured a ton of emotions which I think is great. This is definitely above and beyond poetry of excellence. Congratulations on the nomination! Best wishes in the voting booth.
Sincerely Joy xx
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much, Joy. This is, again, about my boyfriend who died when we were both around 20 years old. For some reason I was thinking about that sweater the other day - my husband is always bugging me to get rid of old stuff. But the sweater? Sorry that is staying awhile longer! xx,
Carol
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Oh I'm so sorry to hear this, Carol. Yes, you should keep that sweater.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Wow! I think I found the entry for poem of the month I want to vote for. This reminds me of my grandma keeping my uncle's shirts when he died tragically at age 17. My favorite lines were "The cardboard is old, tired, buckled in
at the corners, top flaps tucked into each other
in dusty embrace."
Very well done.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Wow! I think I found the entry for poem of the month I want to vote for. This reminds me of my grandma keeping my uncle's shirts when he died tragically at age 17. My favorite lines were "The cardboard is old, tired, buckled in
at the corners, top flaps tucked into each other
in dusty embrace."
Very well done.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Wow, thank you. Your poor grandma, I can picture her doing exactly that - you can't do anything else with a loss like that but just hang onto the little things that you still have,
hugs,
Carol
Comment from Patty Palmer
I think a lot of us have those kind of "memory boxes" at the back of our closets, up in the attic, or in a box, on a shelf Put it back where you found it and forget it but this way should you want to take a walk down memory lane you will still have it.
Your poem is beautiful!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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I think a lot of us have those kind of "memory boxes" at the back of our closets, up in the attic, or in a box, on a shelf Put it back where you found it and forget it but this way should you want to take a walk down memory lane you will still have it.
Your poem is beautiful!
Comment Written 02-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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I have a few of them, I'm not great at letting things go. I wanted the family to bury that sweater with him, but of course they didn't. Hubris on my part I suppose! xx,
Carol
Comment from Lobber
I would suggest an image of a roaring fireplace with a suggestion that it's time to bury the dead ... if you can't do it, get someone else to help you with the onerous task - Lobber
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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I would suggest an image of a roaring fireplace with a suggestion that it's time to bury the dead ... if you can't do it, get someone else to help you with the onerous task - Lobber
Comment Written 17-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
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I agree that a fire is the only way. You can't throw things like this into the garbage!
Carol
Comment from The Death
Hi Carol,
It's a touching poem! Your descriptions are vivid and highly visual. One can easily imagine the narrator thinking about that old box containing so many memories. Most of us have that "box" that we don't want to open much, but won't get rid of either. Your poem reminded of such things. One can easily relate with feelings of pain and sorrow that your words convey. I enjoyed reading it.
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Hi Carol,
It's a touching poem! Your descriptions are vivid and highly visual. One can easily imagine the narrator thinking about that old box containing so many memories. Most of us have that "box" that we don't want to open much, but won't get rid of either. Your poem reminded of such things. One can easily relate with feelings of pain and sorrow that your words convey. I enjoyed reading it.
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much, Anupam, I appreciate your words and agree that most of us have the equivalent of that box,
Carol
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Wow, now that one really gets to you, ya know? Reminds of the times 'they' return a gift you made for grandparent or parent .... knowing that you made it just for them... a box? yeah, I guess, I just had to give it away to someone else -- couldn't have it in the house. Such beautiful and insightful offering, Carol -- touching in ways that those who haven't been there may not relate, but for those that have? Tears.
Thanx for your wonderfully crafted offering this morning! ;) ;) Yvette :)
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Wow, now that one really gets to you, ya know? Reminds of the times 'they' return a gift you made for grandparent or parent .... knowing that you made it just for them... a box? yeah, I guess, I just had to give it away to someone else -- couldn't have it in the house. Such beautiful and insightful offering, Carol -- touching in ways that those who haven't been there may not relate, but for those that have? Tears.
Thanx for your wonderfully crafted offering this morning! ;) ;) Yvette :)
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2019
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Thanks so much, Yvette, your words mean a lot to me.
Carol
Comment from CD Richards
Well, I would say treasure it. Put it away somewhere safe, and bring it out often so others can share. This is a fine poem, Carol. It doesn't need a picture -- some are better without. Remember the days most poems didn't have pictures to go with them?
Thing is, the object might be unwanted, but the memories would remain anyway, with or without it.
Fine work, thanks for sharing.
Craig
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Well, I would say treasure it. Put it away somewhere safe, and bring it out often so others can share. This is a fine poem, Carol. It doesn't need a picture -- some are better without. Remember the days most poems didn't have pictures to go with them?
Thing is, the object might be unwanted, but the memories would remain anyway, with or without it.
Fine work, thanks for sharing.
Craig
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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I guess I should bring it out more. I knitted a huge yellow sun in the middle of the back so it's quite....unique. And very scratchy, lol. Thanks so much, Craig :))
Carol
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Carol. Nice to see a posting from you. I know exactly what you're talking about here. There are sentimental things we probably would/should get rid of, but we simply can't. Well written. I get it. Marilyn
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Hi Carol. Nice to see a posting from you. I know exactly what you're talking about here. There are sentimental things we probably would/should get rid of, but we simply can't. Well written. I get it. Marilyn
Comment Written 15-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Marilyn, I think it's okay to hoard a few important things. I have more than a few, but who's keeping track? (My husband, haha)
Carol
