Reviews from

A Path Better Chosen

Listening to the still, small voice.

6 total reviews 
Comment from pome lover
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

wow, Loren, that was wonderful. Good for you.
Haven't "seen" you in a while. But then, I've been gone off and on.
Hope you are well, and hanging in there.
Your story is beautifully and thoughtfully told. Also, your descriptions of the countryside are tantalizing to this city dweller. And the accompanying picture is too.
good job.
Katharine - pome lover

 Comment Written 15-May-2020


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2020
    Katharine, I was surprised to see you found this in my portfolio. It was a good piece to write as it helped me to put things into perspective as well. It's nice hearing from you and appreciate your review. Loren
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Okay, so you've got to stop the posts that make the 'happy-go-lucky blonde' get tears in her eyes! :) I felt as though I was right there with 'you and Katie'.... those searching moments when the Lord finds a way to make Himself known... just BEAUTIFUL! :) So often it feels like those moments get further and further away.... thanx for sharing, Loren, and best of luck in the contest! ;) ;) Yvette

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
    Six stars and a sky full of rain (tears). Who could ask for anything more? Certainly, not me. Of course, it is never my attempt to make anyone cry. Thank you for the shinning galaxy over Texas tonight. Loren
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A heart-felt, sincere entry which is very moving. I picked up a few points but ignore them if they don't sit well with you.

On a particular Morning in October - lower case for 'morning'

Their darkened forms leading us playfully - 'lead us playfully'

She looks up at me, her pace perfect to mine. - maybe 'perfectly matching'?

Its weight is ungainly - period after 'ungainly' and I'm not sure weight can be 'ungainly'. Some other adjective might suit the phrase better.

The road is of morning dampened dirt - hyphenate 'morning-dampened'

On the west slope of the hill is a graveyard that lies silently undisturbed - maybe a 'silent graveyard that lies undisturbed'

They sky is clear - 'the sky'

Some are askance, others upright. Each, reminding me of morning glories rising to greet the sun. - I think this should be one sentence. Maybe a semi-colon after 'upright' and delete comma after 'each'.

The silence presses my thoughts - I might have said 'presses on my thoughts'

"But I can't. I just can't. God, where are you!" - should this end with a question mark?

"Soften my heart, I prayer over the song.- speech marks after 'heart' and 'I pray over the song'

"God," I ask, "are these hymn your chiseling tool?" - 'are these hymns'

Good luck.
Judy

 Comment Written 21-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 21-Jun-2019
    Judy, so nice to hear from you and thank you for your eagle-eyed edits :) I've fixed them. However, I've a feeling that they have probably knocked me out of the competition. Have a blessed day - Loren
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Loren, yes,I can identify with this a lot. Not the religious bit as I'm a non believer, but walking with your dog and feel how you united you are, that is exactly what happens to me and my dog, Tasha, every day. Good luck in the contest. All best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
    As always, Ulla, thank you! It is good to hear that there are universal things in which we all can agree. Thank you for your review. I look forward to your next installment in your writing as well. Take care - Loren
Comment from Bill Schott
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is quite a story. I truly enjoyed the scene you created with the road and forest as the man and dog travel west. The venture into spiritual awareness is profound as the far off music blends with nature to bring the seeker to a oneness with God.
There are many well-turned phrases throughout this short story, beginning with this line which made me want to read more:
...one's shadow always be behind you; not in front as if it were laying a dark path where you've yet to set your feet.
Great reading.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
    Bill, thank you for your reading and your review. Six stars seems amazing to me as I understand you're only allotted so many and most are used up before this late in the week. So, again, thank you. Also it means a great deal that you saw the intent of this post and how spiritual awareness can come about. Loren
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a stunning entry for the contest! The level of genuine spirit it exudes is palpable. The use of Michelangelo's inspiration for David was ingenious as it speaks so well of the spiritual journey of healing so many of us have and continue to go through. Did you know he had a similar experience with God about whether and what to paint on the Sistine Chapel ceiling? I feel blessed to have been able to read such inspirational and relevant writing. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
    You are so faithful to read and always pick up on the meaning of my works. I am so grateful for this. God bless. Loren