Time After Time After Time After
The cliches of time as time marches on.29 total reviews
Comment from LIJ Red
I like the Dali with the backward hooves and camels ten stories tall...and "time is filled with swift transitions, nought of Earth unmoved shall stand."
Got a ton of clichés and even numbered lines rhyming;excellent.
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I like the Dali with the backward hooves and camels ten stories tall...and "time is filled with swift transitions, nought of Earth unmoved shall stand."
Got a ton of clichés and even numbered lines rhyming;excellent.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
Comment from June Sargent
First of the the artwork was an amazing choice. And your opening line hooked me right in:
Goodbyes can't destroy my memories or things I see with my heart -
Eyes of the heart are not always looking at the clock - too busy savoring and remembering. At least that's how it should be.
You've provided a lot of food for thought in this piece. Great entry for the contest. Should do well.
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First of the the artwork was an amazing choice. And your opening line hooked me right in:
Goodbyes can't destroy my memories or things I see with my heart -
Eyes of the heart are not always looking at the clock - too busy savoring and remembering. At least that's how it should be.
You've provided a lot of food for thought in this piece. Great entry for the contest. Should do well.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
Comment from Ja Majal
Very well executed so I want to take my time (no pun intended).
In the first stanza my perception aft reading is that time is a mindset comprised of images be it past-preset-future, so then how could love ever die in our so called time if the images are always existent!
But I also hear the satire of love written throughout,
The ironies and orthodoxies of love!
I love "why? And when?.......Now, not then"
The second stanza is witty !
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Very well executed so I want to take my time (no pun intended).
In the first stanza my perception aft reading is that time is a mindset comprised of images be it past-preset-future, so then how could love ever die in our so called time if the images are always existent!
But I also hear the satire of love written throughout,
The ironies and orthodoxies of love!
I love "why? And when?.......Now, not then"
The second stanza is witty !
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks three truths - time goes on, time begets time, and love conquers all, in a nice taletelling with free flow of thoughts; well said, well done. Keep writing -- DR ALCREATOR
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This speaks three truths - time goes on, time begets time, and love conquers all, in a nice taletelling with free flow of thoughts; well said, well done. Keep writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
Comment from john mallahan
You captured a lot here! What I find interesting, as that "time" itself seems to be a completely human construct. Am trying to NOT live within that framework, but it becomes difficult, because we're given the tools of living with it (time) from the "time" we are infants!
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You captured a lot here! What I find interesting, as that "time" itself seems to be a completely human construct. Am trying to NOT live within that framework, but it becomes difficult, because we're given the tools of living with it (time) from the "time" we are infants!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about time that is there for everything. It seems we get a chance time after time to make things right where something goes wrong the first time.
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A very well-written poem about time that is there for everything. It seems we get a chance time after time to make things right where something goes wrong the first time.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
I am intrigued by the poems message of making love superior to time. I agree totally. We have a choice to embrace or endure time. The poem choses to embrace time through love. Sad are those that cannot or will not. Great job. I have always been fascinated by the Dahli painting. -Robert-
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I am intrigued by the poems message of making love superior to time. I agree totally. We have a choice to embrace or endure time. The poem choses to embrace time through love. Sad are those that cannot or will not. Great job. I have always been fascinated by the Dahli painting. -Robert-
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
Comment from Sophia Delgado
This is beautiful and powerful. I like the figurative language, vivid metaphors, and descriptive words. The image is very fitting as well. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!
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This is beautiful and powerful. I like the figurative language, vivid metaphors, and descriptive words. The image is very fitting as well. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
Comment from Gail Denham
Interesting poem for sure and your choice of picture is great. One comment - I wish the writing were clearer - that color doesn't help - just my eyesight probably. True love doesn't die. For someone losing a mate, it may fade I think.
Nice poem.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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Interesting poem for sure and your choice of picture is great. One comment - I wish the writing were clearer - that color doesn't help - just my eyesight probably. True love doesn't die. For someone losing a mate, it may fade I think.
Nice poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2019
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Thank you.
I agree...I've switched text to bold ...hope it improves the contrast.
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Oh - ever so much better.
