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The French Letter

Viewing comments for Chapter 63 "The Three Horseshoes"
A Novel

25 total reviews 
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Tony,
An excellent chapter that allows the reader to get to know the characters a little better, even though this is chapter 63. :) A bit more insight and understanding of Helen's origins in Hindu-Kush.
The dialogue is splendid and reads true.

The Ian (Bistro) character reminds me of the Frank Middlemass portrayal of Rocky Hardcastle in the BCC's Time Goes By. Helen gets extra points for calling him Ian.

It'll be interesting to see if this is just an interlude or if it will leads to a deeper entanglement.
Once more, very well done.
Robert

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2019
    I loved that TV series - and particularly the character portrayed by Frank Middlemass.
    Thanks very much for the sixth star. Most generous.
    I can see the plot beginning to stretch out in two directions again, with the French letter taking the sidelines. There must be a way out of the dilemma!
    All the best, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-A good chapter, Tony, that shows
Helen and Charles going to see Bisto.
-You begin on a serious note, as Helen
recounts what has happened to her people.
-I found this thought of Charles very interesting:
"half-believing the account of her ancestry"
as she spoke of the faerie mountain people.
-But attention has to be focused on Bisto and
his well being after the loss of his wife.
-The scene at The Three Horseshoes is described
well as folks are reacquainted and introduced-
even Biggles gets into the act!
-A very pleasant way to end the chapter, too.
-I'm sure it won't stay that way for long!


 Comment Written 07-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Pam. I'm enjoying writing these English scenes. I just need to stop myself from getting too self-indulgent with them! I appreciate the sixth star. Most generous. All the best, Tony
reply by Pam (respa) on 09-Jun-2019
    You are very welcome and deserving, Tony.
Comment from djsaxon
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi. Tony. Love it but some of it hits my "twee" button.

"Yes, I have read his book inspired by the Arabian Nights. Am I now to believe you're a reincarnation of Scheherazade, or a woman imbued with the spirit of a jinnia?"

Cool so far, but then this:

"You are the storyteller(, oh, master!) Think of me as a female djinn, spun from the silken mists of the faerie folk who tend the mountain goats of Tirich Mir."

"Would you grant me a wish if I rubbed your magic lamp, (oh, my genie)"

"Perhaps. But we are a tricky folk(, master), and don't take kindly to being rubbed the wrong way."

Lose the stuff in brackets. Overkill. Just sayin' - DJ

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2019
    I had another look at this chapter. You're right. Those facetious comments add nothing and have now been deleted. Sometimes it takes another pair of eyes to see the magnitude of our follies!
Comment from Gail Denham
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Part of the whole I know - but it reads well - easy to follow. I guess it fits in the fantasy area? Well done and should make an interesting book. How does one keep all the characters in order. But you're doing a good job of it.

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Gail. Keeping the characters in order is a losing battle! They?re like naughty children!
Comment from Mastery
Excellent
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Hi, Tony. Great addition as usual, my friend. I like the turn your story has taken with Charles and Helen.

I like the subtle humor here: ""Perhaps. But we are a tricky folk, master, and don't take kindly to being rubbed the wrong way."

Great image here: ""All right then." I leaned forward and rubbed my finger around the rim of her wine glass. It emitted a musical hum. "There. That will have to do in the absence of a magic lamp."


Bravo, Tony. sorry all my sixes are gone. (: Bob


Suggestions: Due to the way it is presented and my memory for the last chapter, you need a speech tag somewhere in here:

""Are you sure you want to return to the Hindu-Kush? The trauma of your parents' murder..."

"... is exactly why I have to go. There are ghosts to be laid to rest. There are people to be brought to account."

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
    Thanks for your review and suggestion, Bob. Much appreciated, as always. Tony.
reply by Mastery on 07-Jun-2019
    You are welcome, my friend. I looked back again. Did you not agree with me on the need for a speech tag there? :) Bob
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2019
    I've been making various minor amendments to this chapter, your suggestion included. As a result, the opening paragraphs now read:
    I was surprised by her enthusiasm and thought it wise to sound a note of caution.

    "Are you sure you want to return to the Hindu-Kush? The trauma of your parents' murder..."

    "... is exactly why I must go. There are ghosts to lay to rest. There are people to be brought to account."

    I'm not sure if this covers what you had in mind...
reply by Mastery on 07-Jun-2019
    Yes. See what a difference it makes? Now we know who is speaking to who. :) Bob
reply by Mastery on 07-Jun-2019
    Because of this sentence you added: "I was surprised by her enthusiasm and thought it wise to sound a note of caution.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great dialogue between these two, their banter is very realistic and I think the further you get into this story the better the banter and your descriptions are getting. Great chapter again Tony,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 06-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
    Thanks very much for your comment, Valda. I'm feeling more comfortable with the use of dialogue than I was, and shall probably have to sharpen up some of the earlier conversations when it comes time for a final edit. I appreciate the sixth star. This validation is most affirming. Thanks! All the best, Tony
Comment from Debbie Pope
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

How could I give your story any rating other than a six star. Your writing style is simply exquisite. It's intelligent, realistic, and witty. I have been on a short respite from FanStory. It is good to be back and to catch up on your story.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
    What a lovely thing to say, Debbie. Thanks so much for the encouragement and for the sixth star. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from estory
Excellent
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You work in another vein of danger in Helen here, bringing out some of that mysterious, Asian, drug dealer terrorist looking for revenge, but also a wiff in there of the clean mountain air, the pure landscape that seems to transcend all of that. I liked that complicated image. This story is going all over the place to me, i'm finding it hard to keep tabs on who is who and where this is going. I think you have too many tangent themes here; you need to focus this and make it one thing or another. estory

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
    Thanks, estory. I realise this is complex and I may have to do some savage editing to bring it all together. I shall need to review it as a whole when I eventually reach the end. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from Tootsie55
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Most definitely an excellent chapter once again most deserving of big sixes, once more. An interesting insight into Helen's background as we said before. The old widower is interesting as well as the dog. No spags.

 Comment Written 05-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
    Very many thanks for your continued encouragement and support, Louise. Delighted that you thought this chapter worth a sixth star. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed your chapter, Tony. It was nice to read more about the 'normal' goings on rather than the intrigue, the secrecy, and so on. It will be interesting to see what Ian has to offer to the story. Thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 04-Jun-2019
    Thanks, Jan. Glad you?re enjoying the slower pace of these interludes. Best wishes, Tony.