Fifty Shades of Jealousy
So much more than merely green61 total reviews
Comment from Dawn Munro
Miasmic blue, so very true!
We're often left to merely rue
the thing of many varied hues
destroying everything unseen -
no, envy's often more than green.
Good luck in the contest. Great poem!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Miasmic blue, so very true!
We're often left to merely rue
the thing of many varied hues
destroying everything unseen -
no, envy's often more than green.
Good luck in the contest. Great poem!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Wow! Now THAT's a creative review!!! Thank you, Dawn!
Comment from estory
I think you built up a great hip-hop rhythm here, and the echoing rhyme effects were also really good. The poem slams and calls us out on jealousy, and portrays it as this green color clouding up our appearance. Good job with the image too. estory
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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I think you built up a great hip-hop rhythm here, and the echoing rhyme effects were also really good. The poem slams and calls us out on jealousy, and portrays it as this green color clouding up our appearance. Good job with the image too. estory
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Thanks very much for this fantastic review!
Comment from ShyWri
An excellent description of the path the jealous mind follows when ignited. I think if you tighten up the last six lines, it would pack more punch, i.e., "claims...of betrayal...pre-meditated calculation" or other combinations.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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An excellent description of the path the jealous mind follows when ignited. I think if you tighten up the last six lines, it would pack more punch, i.e., "claims...of betrayal...pre-meditated calculation" or other combinations.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Thanks.
Comment from rjuselius
this is a brilliant entry for this particular writing prompt dear anonymous! you have managed to convey the essence of jealousy and with elegant metaphors to keep the poem afloat.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a super squeeze!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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this is a brilliant entry for this particular writing prompt dear anonymous! you have managed to convey the essence of jealousy and with elegant metaphors to keep the poem afloat.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a super squeeze!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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And thank YOU, Rebekka, for this really nice review and validation. A super squeeze right back.
Comment from Badger_29
I found this to be absolutely fabulous and its scope and ability to convey a single color with so many other colors. And gives new meaning to the phrase Green With Envy, as Envy is very similar if not a synonym of jealousy. The last one was spectacular miasmic blue that's a new word for me I'm going to look it up and find out exactly what it means.
I love the way that you wrote this I love the way that you put it together with internal rhymes, it didn't have the same meter and rhyme scheme throughout, but yet it came together with the sense that it was complete and balanced, in spite of its imbalances. I would hate to suggest any improvements to this, as this is out of my league. Very well written.
Again my favorite line was for last the miasmic blue.
Best of luck in the contest oh, I think you have a shot at it with this.
This deserved six******
Blessings,
Brother Badger cull
Darren
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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I found this to be absolutely fabulous and its scope and ability to convey a single color with so many other colors. And gives new meaning to the phrase Green With Envy, as Envy is very similar if not a synonym of jealousy. The last one was spectacular miasmic blue that's a new word for me I'm going to look it up and find out exactly what it means.
I love the way that you wrote this I love the way that you put it together with internal rhymes, it didn't have the same meter and rhyme scheme throughout, but yet it came together with the sense that it was complete and balanced, in spite of its imbalances. I would hate to suggest any improvements to this, as this is out of my league. Very well written.
Again my favorite line was for last the miasmic blue.
Best of luck in the contest oh, I think you have a shot at it with this.
This deserved six******
Blessings,
Brother Badger cull
Darren
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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No six could top these warm and validating words you bestowed, Darren. I will always love to read this review. Thank you very, very much.
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Very welcome, thanks for your warm courteous response. And honor and pleasure to write with you here in this creative space. I've done quite a bit about colors myself blessings, brother badger
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
It's a nice piece of poetry beautifully depicting various colors / shades of Jealousy.
Impressive phraseology.
Smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme.
Particularly noteworthy is: "The final color for participation
is a miasmic blue."
Best of Luck!
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Hello Friend,
It's a nice piece of poetry beautifully depicting various colors / shades of Jealousy.
Impressive phraseology.
Smooth and captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme.
Particularly noteworthy is: "The final color for participation
is a miasmic blue."
Best of Luck!
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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I love the specifics of this review, RPSaxena. It's always so helpful to know what 'connected' with a reader/reviewer. So, thank you for that as well as for the good luck wishes in the contest.
Comment from misscookie
Wow! You captured my attention more ways then one
The artwork you choose to go with your poem is awesome to say the least, they are a perfect match.
Your words expresses a strong colorful message of compassion that shows in those marvelous hues
thank you for sharing
Cookie
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Wow! You captured my attention more ways then one
The artwork you choose to go with your poem is awesome to say the least, they are a perfect match.
Your words expresses a strong colorful message of compassion that shows in those marvelous hues
thank you for sharing
Cookie
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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This is such a nice review, Cookie. I appreciate it very much.
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Your very welcome, until next time
Cookie
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Very colourful description of Jealousy in this poem. Love all the 'tion' words in this one.
the fieriest of red-orange flames,
stoked by mind games - great lines in a well penned poem. Good luck in the contest.
cheers.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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Very colourful description of Jealousy in this poem. Love all the 'tion' words in this one.
the fieriest of red-orange flames,
stoked by mind games - great lines in a well penned poem. Good luck in the contest.
cheers.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2019
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I love how specific you are with this review, Pearl. That helps so much. Thank you!
Comment from way2gokevs
Such a lovely, well written poem...... A pleasure to read........
The best of luck in the competition, thanks for sharing your wonderful work........
Have a lovely day, cheers, Kev.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
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Such a lovely, well written poem...... A pleasure to read........
The best of luck in the competition, thanks for sharing your wonderful work........
Have a lovely day, cheers, Kev.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
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Thank you for saying this, Kev. It means a lot to me. xo
Comment from Unmie Dawn
Hello,
I can almost feel the emotion of this poem as I read it. I find that it is very true that jealousy is not just one type. I agree that it comes in many shapes, colors, and emotions that most tend to ignore. Very well written and expressed.
Sincerely,
Unmie Dawn
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
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Hello,
I can almost feel the emotion of this poem as I read it. I find that it is very true that jealousy is not just one type. I agree that it comes in many shapes, colors, and emotions that most tend to ignore. Very well written and expressed.
Sincerely,
Unmie Dawn
Comment Written 05-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2019
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I appreciate the validation, Ummie Dawn. Thanks for this review.
