Yeti Breath
The quest for meaning11 total reviews
Comment from Gail Denham
Such a sad poem. I applaud adventure, but never felt drawn to climb mountains or scale sheer cliffs. How awful that a climber dies and is left there frozen solid. As for your "yeti" - I have some young friends who seriously believe in the Sascquatch - they have an organization and search for him in the Northwest.
Good poem.
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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Such a sad poem. I applaud adventure, but never felt drawn to climb mountains or scale sheer cliffs. How awful that a climber dies and is left there frozen solid. As for your "yeti" - I have some young friends who seriously believe in the Sascquatch - they have an organization and search for him in the Northwest.
Good poem.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019
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It's just too hard to get the dead climbers off the mountain, and in a way, I guess it is fitting that they remain in a setting where they were 'doing what they loved'.
People love mysteries and are always trying to reveal the mystery, such as the Loch Ness monster too. Good luck to your young friends. I hope they don't shoot it if they find it.
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One of these young friends just posted on facebook a picture of a coffee cup she found with a sasquatch on it. oi vey. it's very strange that not one good photo's ever been taken. I understand about the climbers - guess I'd feel sad for the loved ones of this climber.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Yeti Breath, has many well-turned phrases within it and creates a bleak scene. Also, the idea of "because it's there" resounds in this important work that calls on quest, and death, and recent news to stick a flag in the reader's memory.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2019
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This poem, Yeti Breath, has many well-turned phrases within it and creates a bleak scene. Also, the idea of "because it's there" resounds in this important work that calls on quest, and death, and recent news to stick a flag in the reader's memory.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2019
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Thanks for your comments, Bill. I hate how Everest has turned into a production line for vanity by people who often have limited skill and jeopardise the lives of others (one third of the deaths over the years are sherpas). Sir Ed Hillary, first one to summit (with Sherpa Tenzing Norgay) did so much for the sherpas afterwards, but these people come and leave their trash behind just to get a selfie.
Comment from Gloria ....
Author, what an innovative approach to the recently learned tragedy on Mt. Everest. Prior to that, I had no idea there were such traffic jams near the summit, an oh the thinning oxygen at altitude.
The likening to the abominable snowman are apt as the crunching snow poles as they attempt to be nearer to God.
This is a wonderful entry and I wish you much luck in the voting booth.
Gloria
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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Author, what an innovative approach to the recently learned tragedy on Mt. Everest. Prior to that, I had no idea there were such traffic jams near the summit, an oh the thinning oxygen at altitude.
The likening to the abominable snowman are apt as the crunching snow poles as they attempt to be nearer to God.
This is a wonderful entry and I wish you much luck in the voting booth.
Gloria
Comment Written 31-May-2019
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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I have a lot of respect for Mt Everest and the Sherpa people.
The Nepalese know the mountain as Sagarmatha; the Tibetans know it as Chomolungma. It is sacred so has a lot of spirituality about it, but economics dictate; the mighty dollar holds sway.
It is such a shame the route to the summit has become a highway (literally).
One-third of Everest deaths are Sherpa climbers
Comment from James W. Reynolds
The imagery in this poem is powerful. I especially like the "permafrost greeting" and the "ice-rimmed, unseeing eyes." The strong language transports the reader to the mountain, and the reader can feel the chill in the air.
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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The imagery in this poem is powerful. I especially like the "permafrost greeting" and the "ice-rimmed, unseeing eyes." The strong language transports the reader to the mountain, and the reader can feel the chill in the air.
Comment Written 31-May-2019
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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Thanks for your review, James.
I wrote most of it while i was waiting for a friend's funeral to begin, so the chill was in my heart already. She didn't die on a mountain and I have limited knowledge of mountaineering, so it must have been reading the news item that made it pop into my head.
Comment from Heather Knight
I was thinking about the news as I read your poem, and then I read that's what inspired it.
I'd never be brave enough to climb a mountain.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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I was thinking about the news as I read your poem, and then I read that's what inspired it.
I'd never be brave enough to climb a mountain.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-May-2019
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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You get such gorgeous views when you climb a mountain. But it pays to be skilled and have enough oxygen, which many of todays' expeditions that are cluttering up the climbing routes just don't have.
You climb your metaphoric mountains very skilfully and give us all a beautiful view with your writing.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Poet,
Wow. I really, really enjoyed this post! It was creative and unique and provided a whole different outlook than what I expected to find here - which made it even more fun to read. There were certain lines that were truly shining:
-->The bruised air vibrates and shudders a sigh of regret.
--> but heavy as the unloved heart.
--> The mountain will keep him gripped to her chill heart.
--> Flags flutter: life's a circus under cirrus.
I enjoyed it so much! Thank you and good luck!
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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Dear Mystery Poet,
Wow. I really, really enjoyed this post! It was creative and unique and provided a whole different outlook than what I expected to find here - which made it even more fun to read. There were certain lines that were truly shining:
-->The bruised air vibrates and shudders a sigh of regret.
--> but heavy as the unloved heart.
--> The mountain will keep him gripped to her chill heart.
--> Flags flutter: life's a circus under cirrus.
I enjoyed it so much! Thank you and good luck!
Comment Written 31-May-2019
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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I felt truly inspired when creating this poem, so I know it is a good one. I was waiting for a friend's funeral to begin last Wednesday and was sitting emptying my mind when words and phrases suddenly started jumping into my head. Luckily I had pen and paper in my handbag and started jotting them down. When I got home after the funeral I could finish the poem in 10 minutes. It wasn't even about anything that my friend had ever experienced; it wasn't about her at all, so that to me is very strange how the poem came about.
The lines that you mention are ones that I jotted down just before the service.
Comment from Bill Pinder
Great phrase, "heavy as the unloved heart. " I would give this six star is if I had it. Great job of tying in the yeti in a creative way.
Excellent image of the mountain gripping the climber close to her chill heart.
Bill
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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Great phrase, "heavy as the unloved heart. " I would give this six star is if I had it. Great job of tying in the yeti in a creative way.
Excellent image of the mountain gripping the climber close to her chill heart.
Bill
Comment Written 31-May-2019
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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I really appreciate your words, Bill. This poem came to me almost fully formed as I was waiting for the funeral of a friend to begin, and neither she nor I are mountaineers (or yetis) so I was surprised by its appearance in my brain.
Comment from RodG
An interesting approach to this prompt. You set the scene on Mt. Everest where already a young climber has perished. You describe him as if he's the Yeti frozen on that cliff, but then bring in the supernatural in your last verse. That eerie mood is sustained throughout the poem. Rod
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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An interesting approach to this prompt. You set the scene on Mt. Everest where already a young climber has perished. You describe him as if he's the Yeti frozen on that cliff, but then bring in the supernatural in your last verse. That eerie mood is sustained throughout the poem. Rod
Comment Written 31-May-2019
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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Thanks for your review. I'm glad you tapped into 'eerie'... I was aiming for that. The yeti was standing right behind me but I didn't turn around.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, mystery Author, with the contest prompt. Your lines flow smoothly, the rhymes are great, and nothing seems forced. Your story falls into place naturally and is very believable Great job nd thanks for sharing. Best wishes. Jan.
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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You did a great job, mystery Author, with the contest prompt. Your lines flow smoothly, the rhymes are great, and nothing seems forced. Your story falls into place naturally and is very believable Great job nd thanks for sharing. Best wishes. Jan.
Comment Written 31-May-2019
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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Thanks for reviewing. Even if yetis and suchlike are only in our heads, they can feel very real.
Comment from fm wright
I like the way you built up to a climax with this poem-neither confirming, or denying, the yeti's existence. Wonderfully portrayed. Beautifully written. Wish you ever so much the best with this entry!
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reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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I like the way you built up to a climax with this poem-neither confirming, or denying, the yeti's existence. Wonderfully portrayed. Beautifully written. Wish you ever so much the best with this entry!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-May-2019
reply by the author on 31-May-2019
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Thanks for your review. It felt like that yeti was standing far too close to me! I was scared to turn around in case it was real. So I will never know. Truth can be like that.
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Yes, it can! It was a wonderful read! Thanks for sharing!
