St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "St. Louis Chapter 3 part 2"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
27 total reviews
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Barbara,
Oh I love this story. I really enjoyed the last chapter, then couldn't recall your name or that of this story. Now I will. Mac, Logan, and Bill are delightful, dynamic characters. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Hi Barbara,
Oh I love this story. I really enjoyed the last chapter, then couldn't recall your name or that of this story. Now I will. Mac, Logan, and Bill are delightful, dynamic characters. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 03-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I am so sorry my 6s disappeared while my eyes were glued and sore, I didn't realise I'd used them all until I tried to give Ulla one, now you. I owe you!! This is such a brilliant part, Barbara, and told us a lot more about Max and Logan. I think there is more to Logan's sister's murder than we know. This is excellent writing, my friend, and I love the detail you add. Well done. A virtual 6. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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I am so sorry my 6s disappeared while my eyes were glued and sore, I didn't realise I'd used them all until I tried to give Ulla one, now you. I owe you!! This is such a brilliant part, Barbara, and told us a lot more about Max and Logan. I think there is more to Logan's sister's murder than we know. This is excellent writing, my friend, and I love the detail you add. Well done. A virtual 6. Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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There is a lot more going on with Megan's death. It is being revealed to me in slow pieces. DARN!!! Thank you for the virtual six. That's just and important.
Comment from seaglass
I'm really enjoying how this story is developing. It's my favorite of the several I'm following. I also feel good about the characters. The mystery is building an interesting suspense.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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I'm really enjoying how this story is developing. It's my favorite of the several I'm following. I also feel good about the characters. The mystery is building an interesting suspense.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sandragee
Lucas must have been a surprise for someone. Have to wonder what the plan was and what would have happened if he hadn't been there with Mac. Does this Marcie person actually exist or was this a setup? What about the incident in the pub? Are the two things connected? The intrigue continues. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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Lucas must have been a surprise for someone. Have to wonder what the plan was and what would have happened if he hadn't been there with Mac. Does this Marcie person actually exist or was this a setup? What about the incident in the pub? Are the two things connected? The intrigue continues. Well done.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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Yes, the mystery continues. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Okay, this is fabulous, and despite the fact that there's something I am very sure you need to change, I will be rating this six stars because it is head and shoulders above average (which I consider excellent on this site).
But Barbara, in your novel you won't be offering author's notes to explain why Bill makes the remark he does to Logan about jumping out of a plane. Somewhere you will have to slip in that information. But I know you can, easily, hence the six and ignoring the slip. It doesn't even have to be in this chapter, but that might be best,for those readers who aren't quite as sharp about following plot details. *smile* (Hey, I read best-sellers, and occasionally I have had to go back to see how the author came up with something-- to see if maybe I missed something. LOL)
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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Okay, this is fabulous, and despite the fact that there's something I am very sure you need to change, I will be rating this six stars because it is head and shoulders above average (which I consider excellent on this site).
But Barbara, in your novel you won't be offering author's notes to explain why Bill makes the remark he does to Logan about jumping out of a plane. Somewhere you will have to slip in that information. But I know you can, easily, hence the six and ignoring the slip. It doesn't even have to be in this chapter, but that might be best,for those readers who aren't quite as sharp about following plot details. *smile* (Hey, I read best-sellers, and occasionally I have had to go back to see how the author came up with something-- to see if maybe I missed something. LOL)
Comment Written 02-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2019
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I figured I would have to do that. I can see it coming up later, but I haven't figured it out yet. Maybe McKenzie will ask him about it. That might work. Maybe as they drive home. One of my hardest critics didn't mention it. Oh mY!!!
Comment from diamondbogle
I liked how I could follow the story even though I hadn't read the other parts. It was really good. I like how it flowed. Overall well written. That super bee though. Im a huge car nerd. My grandpa is a collector so that caught my eye immediately.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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I liked how I could follow the story even though I hadn't read the other parts. It was really good. I like how it flowed. Overall well written. That super bee though. Im a huge car nerd. My grandpa is a collector so that caught my eye immediately.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement. The car will eventually play an important role in this story.
Comment from light
Good chapter. I'm getting to know the characters. I think Mac is beginning to accept Logan, and may come to appreciate his help. I am enjoying this read.
Elaine
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Good chapter. I'm getting to know the characters. I think Mac is beginning to accept Logan, and may come to appreciate his help. I am enjoying this read.
Elaine
Comment Written 02-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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I have a feeling Logan will be a great help to here eventually. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Barbara,
Well hopefully some information will be coming their way son enough.
More information about this Marcie person, and..."- not sure if I've mentioned this before, but it is more usual to use a dash to signify an interruption rather than the ellipsis which is normally for trailing off.
If she didn't open the door, how did she pop the hood? Most hood releases are inside the vehicles. Might be different on that particular car but thought I'd mention it.
"D.A. Abbott, please," said McKenzie, "He's expecting me."- the dialogue after the tag should start lower case as the previous dialogue and tag are not closed off. Either that or end the sentence after the tag.
on the crossover and find out what Ms. Kirks is up too - just 'to' here.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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Hi Barbara,
Well hopefully some information will be coming their way son enough.
More information about this Marcie person, and..."- not sure if I've mentioned this before, but it is more usual to use a dash to signify an interruption rather than the ellipsis which is normally for trailing off.
If she didn't open the door, how did she pop the hood? Most hood releases are inside the vehicles. Might be different on that particular car but thought I'd mention it.
"D.A. Abbott, please," said McKenzie, "He's expecting me."- the dialogue after the tag should start lower case as the previous dialogue and tag are not closed off. Either that or end the sentence after the tag.
on the crossover and find out what Ms. Kirks is up too - just 'to' here.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2019
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You did mention it before. I need to study up on the use of dashes. I use them wrong. This car is and older model and you don't open the door to pop the hood. I've made the changes. I need to re-write the ending of this. A reviewer called me on something and is correct. I will add it to tomorrow's post. Thank you for the help.
Comment from tfawcus
I'm afraid that I'm a little behind with my reviewing at the moment and have missed one or two instalments of this. I am always impressed by the way you use dialogue to move the action along and develop a sense of your characters. I'm hoping to find time to go back and read what I need to, to fill in the gaps.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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I'm afraid that I'm a little behind with my reviewing at the moment and have missed one or two instalments of this. I am always impressed by the way you use dialogue to move the action along and develop a sense of your characters. I'm hoping to find time to go back and read what I need to, to fill in the gaps.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Oh, I am liking Logan more and more -- great job with the 'growth' in his and Mac's relationship here! :) Have to tell you that their chemistry seems to do well when they really butt heads but then just a bit of vulnerability comes out... really builds the emotion there between them. Did you pull back on Logan's "dominant-tendancy" a bit on this one, cuz there seemed to be a bit of a difference in his dialogue/else... :) ;) Thanx for sharing -- look forward to the next... :) Yvette
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Oh, I am liking Logan more and more -- great job with the 'growth' in his and Mac's relationship here! :) Have to tell you that their chemistry seems to do well when they really butt heads but then just a bit of vulnerability comes out... really builds the emotion there between them. Did you pull back on Logan's "dominant-tendancy" a bit on this one, cuz there seemed to be a bit of a difference in his dialogue/else... :) ;) Thanx for sharing -- look forward to the next... :) Yvette
Comment Written 01-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Low.ll go back and forth depending on the circumstance. LOL Thank you for the kind revie
