The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Babylon-on-Thames"A Novel
30 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
Nice set up for the chapter with some input on Babylon-on-Thames,
it does lend on air of James Bond.
Plus excellent humor with "Carruthers." John Smith, now there's a nondescript name.
A very nice twist, having the father working as a spy and leaving information.
It seems the diary may be involved here.
Helen or Kayla working with Jihadists? Doesn't computer yet.
Seems the snare is drawing tighter.
Well done
Robert
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Hello Tony,
Nice set up for the chapter with some input on Babylon-on-Thames,
it does lend on air of James Bond.
Plus excellent humor with "Carruthers." John Smith, now there's a nondescript name.
A very nice twist, having the father working as a spy and leaving information.
It seems the diary may be involved here.
Helen or Kayla working with Jihadists? Doesn't computer yet.
Seems the snare is drawing tighter.
Well done
Robert
Comment Written 23-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Robert. Glad you enjoyed this chapter. It does seem a bit unlikely that Helen would be mixed up with extremists. Just possible that Kayla might be though. We shall see.
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Thanks, Robert. Glad you enjoyed this chapter. It does seem a bit unlikely that Helen would be mixed up with extremists. Just possible that Kayla might be though. We shall see.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You are definitely moving things
along in this chapter, Tony.
-You take us back to Helen
and Kayla, and their father.
-Smith/Carruthers has a lot he
reveals to Charles, especially
about the sister's father.
-It made me wonder if the
paintings are valuable because
there is important information
hidden in them, but S/C almost
makes them an afterthought at the end.
-It seems something has
happened to Jean, as well.
-It will be interesting to
see what transpires next.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
|
-You are definitely moving things
along in this chapter, Tony.
-You take us back to Helen
and Kayla, and their father.
-Smith/Carruthers has a lot he
reveals to Charles, especially
about the sister's father.
-It made me wonder if the
paintings are valuable because
there is important information
hidden in them, but S/C almost
makes them an afterthought at the end.
-It seems something has
happened to Jean, as well.
-It will be interesting to
see what transpires next.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Pam. Yes, the comment about Jeanne does make one wonder. There would have to be something about those paintings for MI6 to involve Charles. Hard to know what at this stage.
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Thanks, Pam. Yes, the comment about Jeanne does make one wonder. There would have to be something about those paintings for MI6 to involve Charles. Hard to know what at this stage.
-
You are welcome, Tony, and thanks for sharing about Jeanne
and the paintings. I am willing to bet you have an inkling!
Comment from called2rite
This held my attention with every paragraph. Very intriguing to say the least. I would enjoy reading the rest of it. I appreciate the clean language. Comment made on 3-22-19 by called2rite.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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This held my attention with every paragraph. Very intriguing to say the least. I would enjoy reading the rest of it. I appreciate the clean language. Comment made on 3-22-19 by called2rite.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, called2rite, for your review of 'Babylon-on-Thames', and for your comments. All the best, Tony
Comment from djsaxon
Tony. Thank God that you are out there. I have spent so much of my day reading 'grandma spew' about Jesus and family. If that is where they choose to go fine, but I can't review it. They whip out their credit cards and garner rave ratings. Sorry, About the write. Beautifully crafted as always. Glad I had a six pack on hold. Cheers - DJ
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Tony. Thank God that you are out there. I have spent so much of my day reading 'grandma spew' about Jesus and family. If that is where they choose to go fine, but I can't review it. They whip out their credit cards and garner rave ratings. Sorry, About the write. Beautifully crafted as always. Glad I had a six pack on hold. Cheers - DJ
Comment Written 22-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, DJ, for your review of 'Babylon-on-Thames', and for your comments. I appreciate the extra star.
'Grandma spew' is a grand description!
All the best, Tony
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It's people like your good self that inspired me to spend my coffee money and rejoin FS. DJ
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You are one of the reasons that I spent my coffe money on a new subscription - DJ
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Tony;
> With the rate this is going in the way people live in writing him out of sixes before Wednesday.4
> I like how the story going and bring it up to the present time situation or at least within a decade or so. Were bringing in the jihadists and a possible conspiracy along with murder and entrapment, but for the good cause of finding Helen is innocent.
>In either case, please walking into something that looked very simple and could get very sticky and tricky and if things go wrong people can get really hurt.
> You leave that out somewhat and I think that's great leaving it up to the reader to know the gravity of the situation.
>Here's a few disclosures.
>"In case I might need it? I was beginning to feel like a fish being drawn into the narrowing funnel of a trawl net, unable to swim fast enough against the tide to escape." I've heard of one, where a stooge says to a government, "If you're not going to use me as bait, then please take the hook out of my bum!"
>"It's warm and wet though, the way the women like it." I would've wrote, it'ss warm, wet and inviting."
>I really enjoyed it a lot, Tony and thanks for this new post which I truly indeed enjoy and was very entertained.
Alx
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Cheers, Tony;
> With the rate this is going in the way people live in writing him out of sixes before Wednesday.4
> I like how the story going and bring it up to the present time situation or at least within a decade or so. Were bringing in the jihadists and a possible conspiracy along with murder and entrapment, but for the good cause of finding Helen is innocent.
>In either case, please walking into something that looked very simple and could get very sticky and tricky and if things go wrong people can get really hurt.
> You leave that out somewhat and I think that's great leaving it up to the reader to know the gravity of the situation.
>Here's a few disclosures.
>"In case I might need it? I was beginning to feel like a fish being drawn into the narrowing funnel of a trawl net, unable to swim fast enough against the tide to escape." I've heard of one, where a stooge says to a government, "If you're not going to use me as bait, then please take the hook out of my bum!"
>"It's warm and wet though, the way the women like it." I would've wrote, it'ss warm, wet and inviting."
>I really enjoyed it a lot, Tony and thanks for this new post which I truly indeed enjoy and was very entertained.
Alx
Comment Written 20-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Alx, for your review of 'Babylon-on-Thames', and for your comments. Much appreciated, as always. All the best, Tony
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You're very welcome, Tony.
Alx
Comment from estory
This is very James Bond and the intrigue is really deepening and the web is sticky and immense. Now it seems Kayla and Helen could be involved with international terrorists, or they could be unwitting couriers of her father, an anti terrorist operative. I think you have woven a deep, wide web here, and this is unfolding nicely. I like how you did through the dialogue, keeping this in real life mode, with some touches of personality thrown in the conversation that enriches the overall picture. After some diversions that seemed distracting to me, this is coming into better focus now and I like how this is unfolding. Can't wait to see how this goes, and what's happened to Durand? Sounds ominous. estory
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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This is very James Bond and the intrigue is really deepening and the web is sticky and immense. Now it seems Kayla and Helen could be involved with international terrorists, or they could be unwitting couriers of her father, an anti terrorist operative. I think you have woven a deep, wide web here, and this is unfolding nicely. I like how you did through the dialogue, keeping this in real life mode, with some touches of personality thrown in the conversation that enriches the overall picture. After some diversions that seemed distracting to me, this is coming into better focus now and I like how this is unfolding. Can't wait to see how this goes, and what's happened to Durand? Sounds ominous. estory
Comment Written 20-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Alx, for your review of 'Babylon-on-Thames', and for your comments. Thanks, too, for the sixth star. Much appreciated, as always. All the best, Tony
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi, Tony,
I think I missed a chapter - so, I need to go back, but I loved the information we gained from this chapter. You are continuing the spin a web that will be fun to untangle.
a few notes:
"It's been a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Brandon. The period is missing after Mr. This happens several other times in the text. Some editors are VERY particular about punctuation.
My head was spinning. I hadn't expected things to move this fast. I glanced at my watch. This passage has three sentences in a row that follow the same pattern - perhaps rewrite one?
...but it was clear that he didn't intend to sayany more, anymore so I brought... This is a compound word, and I don't think it is different between the continents.
We believe that he realised they were closing in, and that he had planned a way of getting his... There isn't a need for a comma here. This compound sentence conjoins an independent clause with a dependent clause.
The coffee was better than expected+, and Carruthers-cum-Smith was quick and efficient. The comma is needed in this sentence. You have conjoined two independent clauses here.
Ithough thought his attempt at humour unnecessarily coarse but... A typo?
"Come this way+, and we'll get the formalities dispensed with. In this compound sentence, there are two independent clauses joined, so the comma is needed.
I hadn't bothered to ask how he obtained the photograph for it+, and I wasn't sure I really wanted to know. Again, the comma is needed here due to the construction of the sentence.
Looking forward to the next chapter,
~patty~
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
|
Hi, Tony,
I think I missed a chapter - so, I need to go back, but I loved the information we gained from this chapter. You are continuing the spin a web that will be fun to untangle.
a few notes:
"It's been a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Brandon. The period is missing after Mr. This happens several other times in the text. Some editors are VERY particular about punctuation.
My head was spinning. I hadn't expected things to move this fast. I glanced at my watch. This passage has three sentences in a row that follow the same pattern - perhaps rewrite one?
...but it was clear that he didn't intend to say
We believe that he realised they were closing in
The coffee was better than expected+, and Carruthers-cum-Smith was quick and efficient. The comma is needed in this sentence. You have conjoined two independent clauses here.
I
"Come this way+, and we'll get the formalities dispensed with. In this compound sentence, there are two independent clauses joined, so the comma is needed.
I hadn't bothered to ask how he obtained the photograph for it+, and I wasn't sure I really wanted to know. Again, the comma is needed here due to the construction of the sentence.
Looking forward to the next chapter,
~patty~
Comment Written 20-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Patty, for your review of 'Babylon-on-Thames', and for your very helpful suggestions. Much appreciated, as always. All the best, Tony
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Thanks, Patty, for your review of 'Babylon-on-Thames', and for your very helpful suggestions. Much appreciated, as always. All the best, Tony
Comment from WryWriter
"Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly." This chapter is headed toward a dramatic climax. Can't wait. One edit: I though(t) his attempt at humour
Enjoyed, as usual! You are expert at holding reader attention.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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"Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly." This chapter is headed toward a dramatic climax. Can't wait. One edit: I though(t) his attempt at humour
Enjoyed, as usual! You are expert at holding reader attention.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, WryWriter, for your review of 'Babylon-on-Thames', and for your comments and for picking up the typo. Much appreciated, as always. All the best, Tony
Comment from Shirley McLain
Very nice chapter. If I had a six it would be yours. This is very cloak and dagger and I love it. Your characters are strong with great dialogue and I didn't see a thing to recommend. Great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Very nice chapter. If I had a six it would be yours. This is very cloak and dagger and I love it. Your characters are strong with great dialogue and I didn't see a thing to recommend. Great job. Shirley
Comment Written 20-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Shirley, for your review of 'Babylon-on-Thames', and for your very supportive comments. Much appreciated, as always. All the best, Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Now that was a turn up for the books! This is more than our Charles was told. It sounds quite dangerous. Hmm, there is no way out now. I wonder what Helen and Kayla really have to do with it. Time will tell! Excellent again. I must stop using all my sixes so quickly. We need more. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
|
Now that was a turn up for the books! This is more than our Charles was told. It sounds quite dangerous. Hmm, there is no way out now. I wonder what Helen and Kayla really have to do with it. Time will tell! Excellent again. I must stop using all my sixes so quickly. We need more. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 20-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2019
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Thanks, Sandra, for your review of 'Babylon-on-Thames', and for your comments. Much appreciated, as always. Charles seems to be getting into deep waters! All the best, Tony
