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The Primal Wound, Still Bleeding

Viewing comments for Prologue "The Primal Wound, Still Bleeding"
Origins of an adopted child.

18 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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Quite a beginning. I can't Think of another story similar or begun with such candor and balanced emotions. I am assuming, at this point, that your natural mother was neither a sterling character or mourned to any great extent. Interesting.

 Comment Written 18-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019
    I did not know her well enough to know much about her character, only those few aspects that had a direct impact on me. She lived in another country and I only saw her 3 times, the last being 20 years ago. I am a very heart-on-my-sleeve person, so this memoir will be very frank. But I am also a caring person and will not be savaging anyone's reputation needlessly. The facts may speak for themselves. But what are the facts? I know precious little, but i do know myself rather well, having lived long enough now, with plenty of life experience and a desire to understand things, so I am sure this story will be of interest to many.
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Excellent
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Your mother simply didn't know how to be a mother. She didn't know boundaries. Sounds like it was a good thing she adopted you out. I hope you had good parents that brought you up right. It's good that you're writing about your feelings. She was still your birth mom. Without her you wouldn't be here. It's a crazy thing. I have no way of understanding what you're going through but I do hope you're okay

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019
    I am fine, because i did have good adoptive parents (although my Mum died when i was 15). Yes indeed it was a blessing tht I was adopted out. I have 3 half-sisters and mother abandoned them too when they were all under 5yrs old. Clearly not a woman with nurturing tendencies.
    My story is going to make very interesting reading, but i am being careful with myself because there are still some unresolved issues.
    Thanks you for your kind wishes. Peace. xx
reply by ExperiencingLiphe on 17-Mar-2019
    Yeah take your time for sure. It's not a race but a journey. I think I'm gonna be messed up with my rapists/stalker dies. I'm ready for them to die...I think. lol. Time will tell. But I know it'll bring up unresolved issues like this probably has for you. In that circumstance I can kind of relate.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019
    That is pretty heavy stuff to deal with.
    I wish you well. Take care on the journey. xx
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
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This is promising to be a very intriguing story and of course being responsible for your mother's death is a chilling thought. I couldn't find anything to suggest. If I were nit-picking I would suggest 'someone with whom I had shared laughter and tears,' rather than 'someone I had shared laughter and tears with'.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019
    Thanks for your worthwhile comments, Judy. Nit-pick away... your sentence construction is clearer than mine at times. I will make your suggested change.
Comment from susand3022
Excellent
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Hi Lisamay, I can't wait to hear all about your experience with your Mom. There was a similar occurance in my own family. My mother had a son she had to give up for adoption before she met my dad. (you had to in those days) He did find us several years ago, something my mother was so greatful for, and he became an instant member of the family. It was amazing to see how much the two had in common!

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 16-Mar-2019
    Thanks for your personal comments Susan. That is a very uplifting story about your own family and reuniting successfully between mother and son, and you with a brother.
    I think perhaps my mother and i could have become close but other happenings in her life had too big an impact and changed her reactions to situations. Maybe that is being generous on my part, but i do not wish to think that I am doomed to being insane. There are so many unusual circumstances in my story, as I continue it will read more like a made-up story of bizarre details. My 'mother' also walked out on 3 other daughters and did not raise them either. (I did not know about having 3 half-sisters until I was 45) She had her reasons, but even after we all made contact again, she felt the need to reject us again. She must have either been carrying a huge load of guilt, or else a sense of family connection was water off a duck's back to her.
reply by susand3022 on 16-Mar-2019
    And you should see his daughters! I would be scared to death to have them as mine... they're so totally stunning! And smart too, thank goodness! lol But those two really take the cake for beautiful. :)
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2019
    What a lovely description!
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
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I rather think that your mother ruined her own life, if it was ruined at all. Perhaps she always had things going her way, and had no qualms about shedding a baby ball-and-chain and doing as she pleased. And you lucked out, not getting in her way but for a few months. Of course that attitude, prevalent now, was not so widespread in the dark 1950s...excellent post.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 16-Mar-2019
    As my story progresses it will explore a few more details of her life and its impact on others. I only met her a few times, and that was 20 years ago. When I was born, she never even saw me, never held me. She had already deserted 3 other daughters. She had her reasons, and they add texture to the warp and weft of various intersecting lives. Some details of this story are stranger than fiction and will appear that I am making them up. Attitudes in the 1950s did make for some difficulties for people such as my mother appears to be. My story will be a cathartic experience for me. I am not writing it out of any sense of bitterness towards Marie, but at times it may well sound that way. I am not a bitter person and have had a good life, mostly.
Comment from Sarkems
Excellent
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Yep, you've got my attention. This is a candid piece, written in the kind of conversational tones I find very engaging. We could be old friends, you and I, chatting about this over a coffee. I look forward to reading more. You've piqued my interest.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2019
    Thanks for reviewing. The conversational tone you mention is what I strived for, because to write this I felt i needed the support of thinking I was writing to a dear friend who knows me well (I do have such a friend in Australia who has known me since childhood and thus knows my background).
Comment from meeshu
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

the 6six6 is for your courage to write this and for the smooth and easy flow with which you write. a fascinating story, I am looking forward to more, LisaMay.......................meeshu

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2019
    Your award of 6 stars I will wear with honor as my badge of courage, because I know that progressing (while regressing) through this life glimpse will be tough work. I aimed for a light, conversational tone because in parts the story is so awful that it will need a touch of levity, and I started to get scared with how bitter it was sounding, yet i am not at all a bitter person.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
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This sounds like a sad story and you're carrying around guilt over something you had no control over. Don't take this personally I'm just writing to fill space. Thank you for sharing and I didn't find any errors and I look forward to reading more.
Shirley

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2019
    Hi Shirley, thanks for reviewing. I think it will prove to be rather cathartic for me writing this story. I am surprised how bitter this piece sounded and I am not at all a bitter person.
Comment from Gail Denham
Excellent
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Gripping story. The fact it's true makes it all the more compelling. Glad to hear you were not aborted. Millions of unwanted children are dying every year. You were spared. This story is strong. You tell it well so far. The title of the work says it all. As an adult, you can now face truths - but how awful to hear the bit about your in-the-womb beginnings.
Most interesting. You probably have a book here. Good luck.

 Comment Written 15-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2019
    Thanks for reviewing, Gail. Mother tried to abort one of my half-sisters, but I made it through. I surprised myself with how bitter that prologue is, and I am not a bitter person. Writing these chapters will probably expose some strange feelings under the spotlight, so I am being somewhat wary.
reply by Gail Denham on 15-Mar-2019
    Yes, you'll have to think through how you say all this. With prayer, God can help you with forgiveness and acceptance. it will not be easy I think.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2019
    You are right, Gail. I have had a personal message from God, several years ago, about forgiveness. I wrote about it in a recent posting of mine, "List#7 LisaMay". It's on my portfolio. It was a very powerful message. He is at my side.
reply by Gail Denham on 16-Mar-2019
    I'm so glad you're writing this - and especially today in light of the abortion controversy. Thanks
reply by Gail Denham on 16-Mar-2019
    I think being truthful can be done without the bitterness becoming overwhelming. We're all so human - and when we (I) look at ourselves, we recognize how deceitful and selfish our hearts are. I pray you were able to forgive your birth mom. But oh how hard. I can hardly imagine.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2019
    Thanks for your comments Gail. I forgave my mother when I was a kid, because her decision to give me up put me with wonderful parents and I did not have a difficult childhood (apart from my brother and my Mum dying before I was 15).
    But when I found out my origins when I was 45 and learned that my birth mother had already abandoned 3 other daughters I did become judgemental. She had her reasons and I had to embrace forgiveness then. Writing about it will be interesting. As she is now dead it will be 'easier' to write about the situation, I feel.
reply by Gail Denham on 16-Mar-2019
    Boy - how hard that all must have been. Blessings.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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On the 8th? That was just a week ago! My goodness - it's so soon after and are you ready to tell all this? Great opener - you got our attention!
I'm so glad that you had good adoptive parents! And in some senses, so many of us may feel like orphans. And spiritually, we all are adopted by God.

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
    The last time I saw my birth mother was 20 years ago and her passing last week was notified to me as a piece of relatively minor information. Which sounds harsh that her life could mean so little to me but is a statement of fact. My story will explain a lot more about why the coolness. She lived in a different country as well and that emphasised the distance.