Eyes on You
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Tommy's Final Stand"Tommy tries to rescue their family.
11 total reviews
Comment from krprice
Excellent post. In fact, it has been an excellent story.
Linda. . . Put quotes before Linda.
Seeing my...He then. . . stent should be stint.
I've enjoyed this, and I hope you're planning a sequel.
Because of rehabbing, I won't be doing much if any crits for a while.
Karlene
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2019
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Excellent post. In fact, it has been an excellent story.
Linda. . . Put quotes before Linda.
Seeing my...He then. . . stent should be stint.
I've enjoyed this, and I hope you're planning a sequel.
Because of rehabbing, I won't be doing much if any crits for a while.
Karlene
Comment Written 30-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much for your exceptional and for all your high praise I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for catching my mistakes.
I do hope you're rehab goes well and that you make a full recovery. When you return I'll write a sequel, alright?
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship it means a great deal to me, take care.
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Misty,
This is another gread read. Your excellent writing is concise and you hold the reader's attention effectively, with so muchaction and great dialogue.
One offering for your consideration:
"swipe my face with my dirt shirt tail as I contemplate "
I think you meant dirty shirt tail.
Thanks for sharing.
Jan
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019
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Hi Misty,
This is another gread read. Your excellent writing is concise and you hold the reader's attention effectively, with so muchaction and great dialogue.
One offering for your consideration:
"swipe my face with my dirt shirt tail as I contemplate "
I think you meant dirty shirt tail.
Thanks for sharing.
Jan
Comment Written 16-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much for your great review, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. There's a good chance that Jen and Tommy's story doesn't end there, not with those eyes watching him from the woods.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship, it means a lot to me, take care.
PS. you're right I did mean dirty. Thanks for catching that.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Mistydawn
I say that you did very well how to make your conclusion of your novel intriguing,
emotional with Tommy's memories and cleverly fast moving of how all ends well for Tommy and Jen all, but for this eerie feeling you left us in before the ending that-- Deep in the back lands of Utah, two large, cold, brown eyes continues to watch Tommy.
Mistydawn, I think it would make it clearer to the reader if you said
(Rachel instead) of I know)
Rachel, knows exactly what's going on, she thinks as she hangs up the phone.
Gert
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2019
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Hello Mistydawn
I say that you did very well how to make your conclusion of your novel intriguing,
emotional with Tommy's memories and cleverly fast moving of how all ends well for Tommy and Jen all, but for this eerie feeling you left us in before the ending that-- Deep in the back lands of Utah, two large, cold, brown eyes continues to watch Tommy.
Mistydawn, I think it would make it clearer to the reader if you said
(Rachel instead) of I know)
Rachel, knows exactly what's going on, she thinks as she hangs up the phone.
Gert
Comment Written 14-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much for your fabulous review, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. I left it open the way I did because I grew very fond of these guys, would like to do another story on them in the future. You're suggestion does sound better. In order to make it work I had to edit the next sentences. So it now reads like this. Rachel knows exactly what's going on, he's being overly protective like her father.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship, it means a lit to me, take care.
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You are so welcome Mistydawn
Gert
Comment from Sugarray77
This is very well done, Misty. I enjoyed the drama and suspense that you kept in this write right up to the end.... and then after the great and happy ending, you introduce cold, brown eyes. Well done. I look forward to more of you writing.
Melissa
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
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This is very well done, Misty. I enjoyed the drama and suspense that you kept in this write right up to the end.... and then after the great and happy ending, you introduce cold, brown eyes. Well done. I look forward to more of you writing.
Melissa
Comment Written 14-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much for your sweet review. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. You might hear from Tommy again in the near future. For now, he deserves a little quality time with his family.
My new book is going to be about a about a good cop gone bad. Being forced into early retirement, Carl decides to get revenge on the criminals that made him loose it all.
Thank you again for your kind review, all your help, support and friendship, take care.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
So the police let Tommy off for his testimony? Lucky break! Is this the end? I can't tell because no one (but me) writes THE END when finished. I hope I can convince you to do it. :)
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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So the police let Tommy off for his testimony? Lucky break! Is this the end? I can't tell because no one (but me) writes THE END when finished. I hope I can convince you to do it. :)
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Thank you for your kind review, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Tommy did get a lucky break. The police would rather go for bigger fish, than their fry. It's the end for now. I may add to it later because I was told it was rushed. There's always a chance for a sequel in the future.
Thank you again for your great review, all your help, support and friendship, it means a lot to me, take care.
PS The end is now on the story.
Comment from royowen
Do I detect a sequel to this story? Well done, although it was wrapped up very quickly, there could probably be more in Jen's recovery and some backstory to Tommy doing well. Although a great suspense filled story, some great moments in it. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : The three stop(s) in their tracks. 2: (") you don't want to do this"
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Do I detect a sequel to this story? Well done, although it was wrapped up very quickly, there could probably be more in Jen's recovery and some backstory to Tommy doing well. Although a great suspense filled story, some great moments in it. Well done, blessings, Roy
Typo : The three stop(s) in their tracks. 2: (") you don't want to do this"
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Thank you for your kind review. Sequel, possibly in the future. It depends if Tommy wants to come out and play. For now he's happy living the quiet life with his wife and kids. Don't worry, I know he's fictious. The men in white coats arn't knocking on my door just yet hehe hehe. Did you feel the ending was a bit rushed? I have been doing backstory throughout, hit and miss so maybe I could piece it together, show their struggles, their triumpths, how happy they are today. Make the readers fall in love, see that Tommy is a good guy. I'll think about it, see what I can do. Thanks for the suggestion and catching my mistakes.
Thank you again for all your help, support and friendship, it's always greatly appreciated, take care.
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Yes, I thought it was a bit rushed. They are a very sympathetic read, and I fell in love with them, would have liked s lengthier ending, but well done, Roy
Comment from Ulla
Hi Misty, so this is the end of the story? And a happy ending at that, although they are being watched. They can never ever be free of their past. I've enjoyed this store. Very well written. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Hi Misty, so this is the end of the story? And a happy ending at that, although they are being watched. They can never ever be free of their past. I've enjoyed this store. Very well written. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much for your fabilous review, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. This is the end for now. I figure Tommy and Jen need a little down time after all they've been through.
Thank you again for your marvelous review, all your help, support and friendship, take care.
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Are you starting a new story soon?
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I'm in a bit of a dilemma, pick up an old story I started or begin a new one. Would you rather read about good cop seeking revenge on the criminals who caused him to loose it all, or a man saving his family from a tragic death?
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I think both options sound good, but the cop who seeks revenge kind of appeal to me. It could have a very unespected conclusion. Not everything has to have a happy ending. See what I mean? But it's your decision after all. :)))
Comment from nancy_e_davis
All's well that ends well they say. Tommy and Jen are safely tucked away in a witness protection in Utah and they have a baby and he has a job so they can live happy ever after as long as the Gang doesn't find them. Well done Dawn. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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All's well that ends well they say. Tommy and Jen are safely tucked away in a witness protection in Utah and they have a baby and he has a job so they can live happy ever after as long as the Gang doesn't find them. Well done Dawn. Nancy:)
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much for such a great review, I'm glad you liked the ending. Well, ending for now. God only knows what thoshe watchful eyes are going to do.
Thank you again for such a terrific review, all your help, support and friendship, take care.
Comment from country ranch writer
A good ending for them to be oh so happy with the new baby and all maybe the one who is wanting him dead will stay away forever if he can't be found. We hope so anyway.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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A good ending for them to be oh so happy with the new baby and all maybe the one who is wanting him dead will stay away forever if he can't be found. We hope so anyway.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Thank you for your great review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, liked the ending. It would be nice if they'd leave them alone, but remember, cold dark eyes are watching.
Thank you again for your great review, all your help, support and friendship. It means the world to me, take care.
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Let's hope it will be a long long time befor they catch up,with him.
Comment from Shirley McLain
A very suspenseful, fast-moving chapter that I enjoyed reading. I didn't see one thing to recommend changing. Have a great afternoon. Shirley
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reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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A very suspenseful, fast-moving chapter that I enjoyed reading. I didn't see one thing to recommend changing. Have a great afternoon. Shirley
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Thank you so much for your great review, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully Tommy and Jen will have a long happy life together but with watching eyes in the near distance, the chances are pretty slim.
Thank you again for your wonderful review and your encouragement, take care.
