Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Brilliantly told! You kept me engaged and engrossed trying to "pick up the pieces" and figure out what just happened and it seems like the wedding couple did a last minute switch to the groom marrying his best man.

Congratulations on the win!!

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

You figured it out perfectly! (Phew - because I worried I'd made it a little too convoluted!)
Thank you for that validation - and for the congrats, as well. Very much appreciated. xo

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

That was a brilliant story! What a fabulous twist at the end, loved it! That the bride and her mother were in on it, was a superb idea, and both the fathers were made to look idiots after the way they had both been behaving. The one I did feel sorry for was Erick's mother, she was obviously kept in the dark. This was a worthy winner, well done! :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, Sandra. This was a terrific review because you "got" every last detail! xo

Comment from QC Poet

Excellent

Very expressive descriptive sentence structures and paragraphs flowing through out the short wedding story line and associated photography of the seemingly changed last minute changed event.
Thanks for Sharing.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

And thank you for your review!! I appreciate the time and thought that went into it. It helps me to identify what "works" better when I write, and that's very helpful.

Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson

Excellent

Hello there, my friend and welcome to FanStory. This is really quite a story. You've expressed great detail throughout which was marvelous. I love this line: "gown now looking like blanched seaweed being dragged across velvet sand." Well done and good luck! ~Kerry

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2019

Thanks, Kerry! It's always so helpful to get this kind of feedback. Always know, too, that I welcome suggestions and catching of any errors, too. xo

reply by Kerry Foley Robinson on 13-Mar-2019

You're very welcome. So sorry for the late reply:))

reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019

No apology needed, Kerry. xo

Comment from SLMorrical

Excellent

This is wonderful entry for the contest. I could see the characters and relate to them in the contest of the story. It's not just weddings that change things, but just being or having someone that is in the limelight. The paparazzi just love to find scandal. This flows very well. It is an easy read to follow. Good luck in the contest. Well done.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019

Thank you, SLMorrical. I love reviews like this because they give insight into what "works" and what doesn't for the reader. And you're right: it's ANYONE in the limelight who's fodder for a take-down!! "Gotcha"s are the way of the world anymore, it seems (and gawd knows cameras are everywhere!!) xo

Comment from estory

Excellent

I liked the attention to detail in the descriptions of place and characters, the dialogue was crisp and the tensions pulling us between characters was good. We kind of feel caught in the middle here, and the action unfolds around us, and we are helpless as we watch it unfold. I think the emotions and dialogue all come through very naturally and this is very realistic. Quite polished actually. Nice job. estory

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019

This is such a thorough, HELPFUL review. I couldn't appreciate it more. Specifics like this help me understand what "works" and what misses in pieces I write, so thank you for all the time and thought that went into this. I hope you'll always feel comfortable telling me what could use improvement, as well. I never get my feelings hurt and would consider it a tool toward helping me improve. I've enjoyed the stories of yours that I've read and would trust your input. xo

Comment from mmonaghan777

Excellent

Well Delia did a stellar performance. Good story, good writing. We all need to put on our Mona Lisa smiles and walk through the flames of life.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019

Yes, it's true! Always keep 'em guessing.
Thanks for this review, mmonaghan777!

Comment from Coco Jane

Excellent

This is awesome! (Only five stars possible? I'd like to give it six.)
The similes are delicious, especially "blanched seaweed being dragged across velvet sand" and "damp concrete."
The twist at the end with Muriel's involvement adds yet another level of complexity to the story.
Admirably done!

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019

Thank you, Coco Jane! I love this kind of review because it really helps me understand what "works" and what doesn't in a story. I appreciate your input VERY much! xo

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Dear Mystery Writer,

Oh, wow. I think this was written well, but the actual premise would be HORRIBLE. As a parent, I might have walked out. Not because of the situation, necessarily, but because of the behavior and deception. That would be so tragic. Horrible. Thanks and good luck!

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019

Well, but in the life of a politician, that's just Business as Usual, I'm thinking. The two senators might not have expected it from their own offspring...but then again, you plant corn, you get corn.

Thanks for your feedback, Robyn. xo

Comment from Rhonda Skinner

Excellent

This is an excellent entry for the contest. I loved the story's twist and the description of her cheeks being the color of damp concrete. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2019

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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2019

Thanks, Rhonda. I daresay in the same situation, my cheeks would be that color, too!!