Reviews from

Thomas Gommal Learns about Bullying

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Thomas Gomel Learns About Bullying"
Fictional story to teach ages 10 and above about

29 total reviews 
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
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There are pictures on the internet of modern day celebrities that look exactly like a picture of unrelated old time people. It's amazing how much they look alike.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2019
    Thank you for the stars, Thomas, but I'm not sure the comment or stars were meant for me. Have a blessed night. Shirley
Comment from Ben Colder
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A good write about a subject that will always be. Nothing changes with children until maturity offers hind sight. Years ago if your stood your ground and put the bully under your feet it all stops. Now days they carry guns. I find no mistakes Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2019
    Thank you Ben for the comment and stars. They are appreciated. Shirley
Comment from LisaMay
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I have read your other chapters in this book so I thought I should read the very first one. You set the scene well and the characters are believable. It is a worthy topic to tackle. Good luck with bringing your characters to life to show this important message, and hopefully some solutions for coping with the abuse.
A couple of things:
1. Your spelling of Gomel is inconsistent. Is it Gommal or Gomel? You have used both.
2. Some editing will tighten up your story. Just an example is this line: "Thomas heart pounds in his chest because of his anxiety." Where else would his heart pound but in his chest? Perhaps you could say "Thomas's heart pounds because of his anxiety." or "Thomas's chest pounds because of his anxiety."... we all know that the heart is in the chest, and therefore any pounding would be done by the heart.
Your posted chapters are keeping me interested. Keep going!

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2019
    Thank you, Lisa, for your help and the stars. The are much appreciated. Shirley
Comment from sandragee
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You did a good job of painting a portrait of a stressed twelve-year-old. His problem is a kid called Crusher. Thomas Gomel has been bullied for years, and no adult seems to have noticed. The line 'I want Crusher out of my mind' tells the reader just how bad the situation is for Thomas. I feel Thomas Gomel's angst. Well done.

A suggestion:
He looks in the mirror and [see's] (sees) this geeky boy...

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2019
    Thank you for the help and the stars. I will get it taken care of. Happy Valentines Day. Shirley
Comment from Ulla
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Hi Shirley, bullying is a curse, and I think it's great you're addressing the problem in this well written story of yours. I was lucky. I never came across it, and neither did my daughter, but I know it's a huge problem. I'm looking forward to reading more. All best. Ulla::)))

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
    Hi Ulla, thank you for the stars and your comment. I do appreciate it very much. I hope you enjoy the story as it goes along. I usually just write and post. Have a blessed evening. Shirley
Comment from sandramitchell
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Children can be so cruel Shirley, I've been there, and no how awful it is. This is a good idea, writing a book about a young lad suffering at the hands of someone a lot bigger than himself, and a bully. I'll enjoy reading how you develop this. :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
    Thank you for the stars and the lovely comment, Sandra. Have a blessed day. Shirley
Comment from tfawcus
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This is a good character study of a boy who is being bullied. You've described the various cross-currents well. Nothing is ever quite as simple as it seems.
Just one suggestion:
His family is the descendants of
His family is descended from

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
    Hello and thank you for the stars and your helpful suggestion. I will look at that ASAP. Have a blessed day. Shirley
Comment from swelling
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A great topic to write about. Anxiety in school aged children is at an all time high and bullying doesn't help. You have set the story up nicely and it will be interesting to see where you go with it. Perhaps develop the feelings and sensations Thomas is experiencing more (Thomas' heart pounds in his chest because of his anxiety could be developed further). Many of us have been bullied when young and can totally relate. Maybe Thomas wears his anxiety in a particular way. Maybe his anxiety pokes and prods at him or has a voice that is unrelenting. So many possibities. Keep going!

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
    Hello and thank you for the stars and your helpful suggestion. I will look at that ASAP. Have a blessed day. Shirley
Comment from LynSys
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Schools are so scary today...I think one of the most upsetting to me is the fact that my grandchildren go to schools that have metal detectors at the doors, how sad is that?
So much pain...so many suicides.
You brought Thomas's feelings out for all of us to feel.
Well written, Shirley, the "Recognized" Award is well deserved.
Lynda

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
    Thank you so much, Lynda, for your kind words and the stars. I am almost 70 years old and I remember very vividly what it feels like to be bullied because your the new kid and different. I hope one day it can be recognized before it ever gets started. Have a blessed day. Shirley
Comment from jmshumate
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You did a nice job on this chapter. I haven't read your other chapter, but in this there is a lot of description. You do well in describing the natural fear and anxiety a boy experiences at that awkward age. You picked a good name "Crusher" for the bully. I'd like to see Thomas face Crusher, and in doing so conquer his fear. Thank you for sharing this.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2019


reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
    Thank you for the stars and your comment. I will be starting to "help" Thomas soon because I want this book to remain small for easy reading for parent and child. Thanks again. Shirley