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Miscellaneous Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Behold, thou art fair"
Poems not in other books

15 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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Ah tis but a pity Craig, I agree this could have been the Love poem winner. What a hoot, not sure but I think my favourite was the pair of fawns verse LOL
enjoyed the smile this gave me,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
    Glad you got a smile from this silly thing, Valda. Most grateful for the lovely review -- Craig
Comment from MissMerri
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well for sure, Craig, you have a sense of humor as wide as the ocean and perhaps as deep. This is without a doubt, the funniest love poem I have ever read! I don't see anything I'd want to change, except, for my own clarification, would you please explain the stanza about teeth and shorn sheep. Are you referring to the sheep being blue because of their children's fate? This, I'm certain, is no fault of yours or your verse. I'm just tired and unsure who is blue. I pretty much laughed all the way through this. It is hysterical as well as clever and in excellent poetic form. I'm glad I found it. ~ MM

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
    Hi MM,

    Firstly, thanks so much for the wonderfully generous rating and the very kind comments for this bit of silliness. The "sheep" stanza maybe isn't as strong as some of the others, or perhaps a bit more obscure. The idea is they are happy because they have been newly shorn (perhaps prior to lambing, which is a common time for shearing), so they are feeling fresh and clean. If they knew the fate of their soon to be produced offspring was to end up on someone's plate, they wouldn't feel so smug. Similarly, perhaps knowing the future would put a limit on the subject's carefree happiness? That was the idea, anyway.

    Most grateful that you stopped by, and so glad you enjoyed :)

    Cheers,
    Craig
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2019
    Well, after revisiting that verse, I've had a change of mind. I think your comments indicated what I missed at first - that verse does seem somewhat darker, and out of character for what is meant to be a light-hearted poem. So anyway, I've completely changed that stanza, and would be really grateful if you would let me know if the new version is a better fit. If not, I can always change it back.

    Thanks once again, MM :)
reply by MissMerri on 29-Jan-2019
    I think it is perfect now. At least it is easy to understand. Please leave it like this. It is even funnier now.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2019
    Thank you, MM. Most grateful for the additional feedback :)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written love poem that will make any girl blush, either with shyness or shame or maybe anger. I can see the humor in your attempt to write a love poem, you should have enter it into the Valentine's contest.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    Thanks for the kind words, Sandra. I didn't think of the Valentine's contest - what a lost opportunity! lol Cheers, Craig
Comment from Rickie1
Excellent
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Richard

Cute poem. Seems like something a farmer would write about a ...cow. :-) You just show love has no boundaries, emotionally. I think Shakespeare would appreciate your verses. Do a small rewrite and enter the contest.

Rickie

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    Haha, unfortunately, that's not an option, but thanks for the fun review :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from Dawn Munro
Excellent
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LOL!!! You're incorrigible, you. Hair like a flock of roaming goats? Breasts like a pair of fawns sent out to frolic? You have no shame, Craig Richards. LOL!!! Now I have to go and see if I can find your REAL contest entry. :))

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    I'm not even sure I can find it, Dawn. But I think I recall, it's worse. Hey, they weren't even my descriptions, I just "borrowed" them, with appropriate acknowledgement, of course ;-) Many thanks for the lovely review! Craig
reply by Dawn Munro on 27-Jan-2019
    :))
Comment from catch22
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Craig, oh wow, now this is a real love poem about embracing and loving all the "flaws" of another. Your narrator is very funny, as he idolizes his mate's peccadilloes, some not so nice. For instance, the woman's eyes that wander "innocently" got me smiling to myself. Great write although I pronounce Shakespeare with emphasis on the first syllable, but that is probably an American thing. Nice work.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    No, you're right, Pam. The emphasis is properly on the first syllable, although I hoped maybe it was weak enough to get away with. Not so, lol. I'll have a look, and change it if I can. If I can't come up with something better, we're stuck with it :) Most grateful for the delightful review. Craig
Comment from Scarbrems
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

'and when you stand, they hang down by your knees' - ha ha ha. Oh, this was brilliant. I'm not a one for love poetry, so I revelled in the spin you put on this. Reminds me of, 'your lips are like petals - bicycle petals'. Wish you had put this in the contest, I'd vote for it. Loved it. Anyway, MY hair IS like a flock of roaming goats.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    Angora or Boer, Emma? Mine was a bit unruly as well, but it was so hot here yesterday, I got sick of it, so I ran the thingy over it. (Yes, my other half got tired of being my hairdresser and bought me a self-shearing whatsit). Now, I'm a bee's doodah away from being bald.

    Glad you enjoyed, thanks for the super comments and wonderful rating.

    Cheers,
    Craig
reply by Scarbrems on 27-Jan-2019
    Yes, well, I might shave all mine off again, but I haven't done that in twenty years. Think I might look more Yoda than Sinead O'Connor these days...
reply by Scarbrems on 27-Jan-2019
    P.S Angora. Definitely Angora.
Comment from trimple
Excellent
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Good evening to you, Craig

A funny Shakespeareanish sonnet that did make me laugh.

You have some cracking original line here.

A couple commas amiss here n there, that you may or may not wish to consider.

our lips are like a finely structured thread,
upon them[,] any man would wish to feed.
They look a treat when painted ruby red,
I'll leave it up to Freud how to proceed.


The wayfarer who passes by[,] soon notes.

Enjoyable read, Craig.

I see that you were having a wee grumble on the profile thoughts page about the lack of reviews. Well... sometimes it pays to review a reviewer on occasion. Invariably, what goes around, comes around. Just saying.


kind regards

trimple

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    Hello, Trimple.

    Firstly, thank you for locating the missing commas, they have been inserted in their correct locations. Secondly, you're quite right about reciprocal reviews; however, it's first necessary to ensure we get notified when someone has posted. I've taken action to make sure that happens in the future.

    Most grateful,
    Craig
reply by trimple on 27-Jan-2019
    Good evening, Craig

    You're most welcome. I really enjoyed this one :)

    I remember a writer here called, Adewpearl, who once said to me, the best way to receive more reviews, is to try to review those that review your writing as often as you can. It's true!

    Oh! I see that you have jumped onboard my fan list. I'm honored.

    much love

    tracey
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
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This heah is a love pome every woman would be looking forward toward. like the roaming goats hair, I've seen that, the shorn sheep teeth and the flappy pillows in the wind mixed in with some donkey doo doo.

Yes'm a most entertaining write for the truly romantic at heart.

Gloria

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    I know, good King Solomon was a wise old soul, wasn't he? Such appealing use of metaphor. I can't think how any gal wouldn't have her socks knocked off by such flattery. I suppose it takes us truly sensitive types to understand :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from Hugh McDowell
Excellent
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Excellent. I guess what they say about love is blind and beauty is in the eye of the beholder is true. I like the flow and pacing. Has a bit of a limerick aspect to it. I just hope this guy wasn't looking in the mirror! Hugh

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2019
    I suspect he's not seeing too well out of either eye now, Hugh. Many thanks for the kind review -- Craig